brand new baby and dad leaves what to do

  • Right after my daughter was born two weeks after my husband decideds raising a baby is too hard and decides to file divorce against me. I have no job and i am still 7 weeks postpartum from having a c section. He refuses to help me with anything raising our daughter any advice on what to do?

  • My goodness - I am so sorry to hear this. What a ROUGH time you are going through. I wish I could give you a hug! Do you have a job that you are on maternity leave from or were you planning to be a stay at home mom? If you have a job that you can go back to, I might try to find out how you can get a loan from friends or family to pay the bills and buy groceries until you go back. If you don't have a job, I might consider finding some friends or family that you can move in with temporarily to cut costs while you figure out how you are going to do this. Also, if things don't work out with your husband, I would certainly make sure that he is held accountable for some child support. Again - so sorry. Hang in there...
  • I have a 2 year old & Im due in May. My husband left when he found out that I was pregnant with my second baby! Im going threw a divorce as well. I feel that if he left you because he wasnt ready for a baby then you both are better off! As for what to do about not having a job I would go to your health department & get some help! They can set you up with alot of things to get you back on your feet again. I promise that it will work out! Hang in there! Just surround yourself with family & friends. I will keep you in my prayers!

  • I had something similar happen when my 2nd daughter was a few months old (she's 14 now). My ex-husband told me he wanted me to move out because he was staying in the house. I had no job at the time because he said he wanted to provide for us and wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom. I ended up applying to a low-income apartment complex with my two girls. The rent was very affordable, it was based on my income (or lack of). I also checked into WIC (Women, Infants, and Children). They helped with some food and formula. They often have breast pumps women can sign out to use at home. I also had to sign up for food stamps and medical care through the state. It was all very helpful until I was able to get a full-time job and get back on my feet. It's difficult and humiliating sometimes to ask for help, but as a mom, we always have to do what we need to for our kids. Just know that there are many others that have faced the same situations, and we know how hard it is! There may be support groups in your area- or other mom's that get together with their kids in the community to support each other. Sometimes churches can offer help as well. Good luck to you! 

  • victria_stern: How are you doing? I've been thinking of you and hoping that all is well. Let us know!

  • 1)  Get a lawyer and make him pay child support.

    2) Apply for welfare.  There is no shame it if you really need it. 

    3) Apply for WIC.

    4) Keep a positive attitude. 

    Wish you both well.

  • Oh gosh, please keep us updated. If you need help finding specific resources to assist you please let us know, I'm pretty good with google! Atleast check in and let us know how you are coping. Thoughts are with you, Jessica
  • Yes, please let us know how things are going...we'd love to help any way we can. Like many of the other moms said, we can help you look up resources or get in touch with community services. Most importantly...surround yourself with a strong support system of people who love you....you will need their support now more than ever. Stay strong!

  • well i now finally got a really easy job workinrg for vector its an appointment basis and its really easy money which is really good. and i was able to get on food stamps and right now i am trying to get the courts to get him to pay child support. but we are doing good my family has been helping me out so much thank you

  • I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for you a little bit. I'm sure there are some pretty stressful days in there still but hang in there. You are doing a great job! Good to hear you  have some support. Keep us up to speed. :-)

  • Glad to hear that you have found a job and are seeking child support. It is also wonderful that you have such a loving and supportive family. Keep up the good work and let us know if we can help in any way.

  • Victria_stern- I am so pleased that the members here have offered you such support and inspiration! I'm very impressed that you took such action for yourself and your baby. This is some HARD work that you have been doing. I saw a story on the effect that stress has on marriages on the Today show last spring. The show quoted a huge number of men that leave when two major events occur in their lives: 1-husbands often file for divorce when their wives have breast cancer. 2-husbands often file for divorce after the birth of a baby, and even more so when the baby is born sick and into a NICU setting. You are not alone in your experience. The amazing strength that you have shown by getting a job, obtaining food stamps, and now taking him to court is beyond impressive. It very much reminds me of this quote by Nancy Reagan: “A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water” -Nancy Reagan quotes Keep us posted and ask for support as needed! -Jessica