Alone mom

  • Well i just started on here so i could talk to some other moms im 21 years old and i have a wonderfull baby girl she will be 1 month old tuesday. Well the father of my daughter is in jail (nothing bad...lol) and i know he wants to be there for her and he says he loves me and i love him too but we argue all the time about everything and its very stressfull and im trying to make things work so that me and him can both be there for Sarah (my daughter) but im not sure its going to and im so confused about everything i dont want her to grow up with separated parents my parents are both there for me and i dont know what I would have done if they werent and its not like im alone with sarah i have a great support sistem i live with my parents but i could use some advice on what to do should i try and make things work with him and me or just let it go i dont want it to hurt sarah in the long run  

  • Sarah- Congratulations on your beautiful new baby girl! What a blessing a healthy baby is. It sounds like things are a bit stressful with her daddy though. What I can offer is that your baby is best in an envt. that is low stress with parents that are happy. Thus, one strong care provider is better than two who are so stressed that they can't be there for the child. That being said having good communication with her daddy is one of the best things that you can do to build a strong relationship with him. I think that you will find a lot of support here and others that can offer you further advice and lots of support. I hope you will continue to post so that we can get to know you and celebrate with you as your baby grows! -Jess
  • I am in kind of the same situation. Only thing is my daughters father wants nothing to do with her. In fact he has went as far to tell his friends he doesn't think she is his. But she looks just like him. My daughter is 9 weeks old and he hasn't even seen her or even asked about her. I haven't even talked to him since about 2 weeks before I went into the hospital to have her. And its not for lack of trying. He just won't respond. But before things turned out like this I did try to make things work. We weren't together anymore but I tried to work things out to were me and him could at least get along for our daughters sake. But as you can tell that didn't work. If I was you and you guys both want to try then I would. But if things get to stressful or you can see they aren't working out then you guys shouldn't be together. I know its hard are kids when their parents aren't together. But its also harder on them if their parents are together and fighting all the time. Even as babies they can sense the tenison between the two of you and could cause them to be a fussy baby. I hope this helped you some.

  • Congrats on your little girl. :-) Sounds like things are both wonderful and stressful all at the same time. I would echo what the other posters said and tell you that a home that is healthy and happy is better than a home that is full of fighting and anger. That being said, I do not think you should write your daughter's father out of her life. I would focus first on being good parents together. If you can demonstrate that you can work well together and generally (no one is perfect) be a great team for your daughter's sake, maybe the relationship can be given another shot. I would also go to some couple's counseling. It can make such a difference for a relationship to have a third person who can look at it objectively and help you open up lines of communication. I'll be thinking of you - keep us updated!

  • Congratulations! Reaching out for advice is a great first step. Your baby's dad is not in a position to be there right now, so you have a trial period where you can see how life is without him. When he is free again, if he follows through with his current sentiment of being a positive part of Sarah's life, you can make that decision then. Good luck!

  • addimaesmom-You are offering some really good advice to Sarah, i totally agree that 2 stressed parents are much worse than one happy parent anyday! I am hoping that the two of you will be able to offer each other some support as you two definitely have some things in common, and needing support is one of them! Let me know if I can help in anyway, Jess
  • hi, i just need someone to talk to on here. i am 12 weeks and i just start on here like 2 or 3 weeks ago and just found out how to talk to other moms on here.

  • Hey Mar25Mar25 - so glad you found your way over here to StrongMoms. Is there anything in particular you are wanting to talk about? How are you feeling these days? Write back! :-)
  • i am doing good.

  • Hi Ladies-

    I was just taking a peak back at this post to see how you, Sarah, are doing.  It sounds like Marmar found her way to this post as well so I'd like to reach out to you as well.  Is there anything that you two need support around right now?  Can i help with anything?  Would love an update on how you are both doing.

    Hugs,

    Jess

  • i am doing good still... ummmm..... idk what to say at all lol

  • Mar25Mar25-glad you are doing okay. It's good to hear that from you. :-)
  • hey i have something to ask, i am about to be 16 almost 17 weeks. when i am i able to feel the baby move, because i am really looking for ward for that and i have been waking up alot more in the middle of the night because i cant get confrontable or i have to go to the bathroom.

  • Usually people the baby move anywhere from 18-22 weeks or so. Every person is different because of their body shape and height and the way they carry the baby. I would think it will be just a couple more weeks for you until you can feel the baby - let us know when you do!

  • hey  how have you been? sorry its been a while seens i wrote back to you. i have been really good the baby is health and so i am i. i finly found a new doctor that wiould take me and that wouldnt cost so much, and i finly found out what the baby was and its a baby girl so i am really happy about that. i just have been thining alot lattly and i have been feeling her move finly s well so i am really happy about that. 

    write back