Surrogate Parenting

  • Our very close friends had a premature baby who thankfully has managed to survive and now thrive. The baby's mom was induced because of extreme spikes in her blood pressure, making it very unlikely she will be able to carry another. The couple has floated the idea of having a surrogate while hinting they might like my wife to carry their baby. Am I wrong for not wanting this? We have three of our own and my wife has had very difficult pregnancies from morning sickness. She is 33 and I just feel like it would put our own family in a rough spot. Does anyone have any advice on how to confront this while not damaging our friendship?

  • You are not wrong at all!! The health and well being of your family is your top priority-and anything that can interfere with this must be thought through very completely by you and your wife. -Jessica
  • Wow...what a tough situation. I would just wait until they actually ask your wife to carry their baby. You may be reading into the situation a bit and they may not be thinking of you and your family at all. If they do approach you and your wife, then you need to tell them how you feel. Carrying a baby is extremely difficult both physically and emotionally and while I applaud those women who are able to be surrogate mothers...it is not for everyone. Your friends undoubtedly understand how difficult this is...so they should also understand why you would not want to do this either. Good Luck and let us know what you decide to do and what happens