Breast feeding to formula and guilt!

  • My first baby will be a month old tomorrow! Time has just flown by!  I had all of these plans of being super mom during my pregnancy and was supported by my husband and family! It was great. We all ate healthy, exercised, and did everything right! I had plans to breast feed for the first 9-12 months of our little girls life, after all mothers have been doing this for centuries right? For me, I was only able to nurse for 3 weeks before the doctors became concerned Lil' Bit wasn't gaining enough weight. Tongue Tied I was scared and sad all at the same time. They said I would have to supplement. We did. Then Lil' Bit didn't want to nurse so I began to pump. Now my milk has started to dry up because she refuses to nurse and I must go to formula. I'm feeling kinda guilty about having to do this. Any thoughts? ThankS!

  • First of all, congratulations on your new little girl! Secondly, don't feel guilty about using formula. I know that you wanted to breast feed, but for many reasons, it  just doesn't work out for some women. You are right to do what is best for your little girl--even if that is not breastfeeding. If she wasn't gaining weight, then you have to do what your doctor recommends. Just try not to feel guilty and enjoy these early months with your new baby. Congratulations!

  • You want your baby to grow and be healthy. If you are still able to pump some every day so she can still get some breast milk that is great, if not that's ok too.  Just do your best!  There's plenty to feel guilty on this road of parenting.  

  • Sounds like you and I are in similiar situations. My baby girl is 18 days today (I am not ready to count her in weeks yet). I have nothing but trouble breastfeeding from the get-go. I was told I had to supplement from the day I was discharged from the hospital. My body never established a good milk supply, so we breast feed (pumped milk) through the day and then give her formula through the evening and night. I have to pump the breastmilk she gets cause she struggles with latching after taking the bottle. I have noticed though I am not getting as much milk now as I was in the beginning. I am lucky to get 2 oz from both breasts.  

    As long as your baby is growing healthy, thats all that matters. I felt really guilty at first about having to supplement, but I got over it and felt better knowing that she was getting the food and nutrition she needed to grow big and strong. Hope this helps, katie.

  • The most important thing is to feed your baby and make sure they are gaining and thriving. It sounds like you tried a number of things to keep your breastfeeding going and it just wasn't happening. You seem like a loving and caring mother - that's what your baby needs most. You are doing great. :-) 

  • My daughter tried to breast feed both of her children but she never produced milk.  Her doctor told her it was probably genetics because I couldn't produce milk nor my mother.  My granddaughter will be 2 months old next week, she's on formula and she's doing great.  You're doing what's best for your child and you should never feel guilty about that.  Formula fed babies turn out fine.  My daughters were always healthy, hardly ever sick as children and extremely smart.  If anyone tries to give you a hard time about formula feeding you can tell them in a nice way to MYOB.

  • My baby was skinny too, but I never stopped breastfeeding.  I just helped my baby to gain some weight with similac advanced.  He didn’t like bottle milk too much, but when babies are hungry they eat whatever milks you put in their mouth. 

    Sometimes I felt giving up because my breast weren’t producing enough milk, but everyday little by little my baby when nursing was inciting my breast to produce more and more milk. 

    After 10 months, my baby just got sick once, and it was just little stuffy nose. 

    Any time you can go back to breastfeeding.  Just be patient, your baby is going to feel sucking your tit if you let her get little hungry.  And for gaining weight just give her formula twice at day.

    Good luck.  Don’t feel guilty you are doing great!


  • Just wanted to check in to see how you were doing and how your baby was adjusting to the formula? Let us know how it is going, we'd love an update!

  • i feel the same way. i had a c section and could finaly sit up in bed and i tried to nurse my son but he couldent latch on and we both were frustrated. after fighting to get him to latch with the lactation lady we finaly agreed that we had to supliment him.then we went home and i still tried to get him  to latch with no luck and then started to pump.then i dried up too. i feel sooo awful about not being able to give him my milk because now hes on a specail formula because he has reflux and a cow milk alergy :( dnt feel guilty, your still giving your lil girl the same amount of love and attention during feedings then you would if you were nursing,only diffrence is the milks a little thicker :)

  • All we can do for our children is our best, and it seems like you have done that. I have great respect for those mothers who are physically able to nurse for months and months. But I get aggravated that mothers are made to feel guilty when nursing long-term is not a possibility. I have seen some mothers driven to tears by insensitive people who classify non-nursing moms as bad mothers, even when they are not aware of the circumstances. Keep doing whatever it takes to provide what you feel is best for your baby! Good luck!

  • I have the same situation and cried a few times thinking i was a bad mom but i pump as much as I can and put my baby to the breast as much as I can handle to try to build my supply. he is really fussy but anytime on the breast helps. Try to do it a few times a day if you can. I also started going to a breast feeding group at my hospital and the lactation nurse is very helpful and its nice to have people support you that are going through the same thing. good luck and enjoy your little one.

  • So it has now been almost a month since I have last posted about having to switch to formula! Time does fly!
    Thank you all for the overwhelming support and comments! Just an update: Baby is growing, but we are not using formula! and we are not BFing. .... I remembered my sis-in-law having the same issues with my middle niece and asked her advice. We have now switched to goat's milk (with pediatrician permission) and Lil' Bit is growing like a weed! Thanks again for all your support!


  • Im a new mom my little boy, Cody, born July 17, 2012, and i have had the same problem we started out only breastfeeding it was a tough start, he wasnt latching on very well. He was born via c-section so we stayed in the hospital for a week for me to heal. By the time we left the hposital my milk still hadnt came in and it really worried me. it wasnt til the next day that it finally came in and Cody started to gain his weight back. He would nurse every few hours and seemed full when he finished. Now he is 6 weeks old and can eat 4 to 6oz every few hours and even with pumping im not making enough for him to be completelty satisfied. I even tried pumping every 2 hours every day for 2 weeks and i still didnt see an increase, in fact i saw a decrease. i feel like a failure because Im not making enough milk and have no choice but to give him formula. Cody still wants to nurse but after 10 mins he gets mad because there isnt anymore and cries. I dont know what else to do to try and help my milk production or if there is anything i can do. Its not like he minds taking a bottle with formula but its just depressing that its not my milk he is getting instead. 

    Anyone with some helpful words or advice i an willing to read. thanks

  • codysmommy717 I would suggest that you see not only a lactation consultant but possibly a nutritionist as well. the consultant will be able to help you figure out how to get a good milk supply going and possibly have some tips as to what to eat that might be able to help that along as well. Talking with a nutritionist will help you better understand the foods that you should be eating to help with milk production while keeping yourself healthy also. Believe it or not what you eat can directly affect your milk. Also make sure you are drinking enough water.

  • Codysmommy717 - you have worked so hard to make this happen! I want to just give you a hug and tell you what a great job you've done. This must be very frustrating for you. I'd encourage you to give a lactation consultant a call. Have you tried this? There are some tricks and tips they have and even some medications they can recommend that your OB prescribe for you. If you don't know where you can find one, try calling the hospital where you delivered. They should be able to direct you. Hang in there.