Help me!! I hurt and am at a loss!!

  • I just delivered my 2nd son Sat Sept 14, 2013, and we're having some problems..

    my little boy is killing me, my nipples hurt so badly, and I'm being treated as a pacifier, he eat 10 ml and falls a sleep, I lay him down, he wakes up as soon as I do wanting more food, how do I get him to drink more at the breast without him falling a sleep all the time, I love nursing him, but I'm being nursed to death, my breast hurt, I have the creams, but without him eating a full meal all at once I'm going to go nuts, Please give me ideas on how to keep him awake at feeding time, he eats enough to sooth himself but not enough to get full, please help me I'm nursing 3 hours at a time just to try to get him full because he keeps going to sleep at the breast...


  • We believe your question can be best answered by a lactation consultant or your health care professional.

    You may also want to check out our Breastfeeding section Frequently Asked Questions: There are many tips and tools that can provide helpful advice on a variety of common feeding concerns. As with any issues your baby may be experiencing, we encourage you to talk to your health care professional or lactation consultant before making changes to your baby's nutrition routine.


  • I agree with mommyRN.. I have a friend who recently had a baby who was a chewer. For whatever reason she didn't want to suck she wanted to chew. She was advised to pump and feed from a bottle until the baby started to suck more. It took about a month for her to learn how to suck, but the bottle really helped her with that. As far as keeing him a wake is concerned it may just be a matter of stimulation. My daughter used to fall asleep while breast feeding all the time and i would have to rub her head to wake her up or rub her jaw line if i noticed that she was starting to fall asleep. Anyway like MommyRN said i think you would really benefit from speaking with a lactation consultant. So try your doctors office or your babys doctor and they may have a list of them in the area.

  • My first son would fall asleep on the breast all the time. I was taught in the breastfeeding class that I took the hospital that if you have a sleepy baby you may want to breastfeed them with just a diaper on (don't have them dressed in really warm PJs or bundled up in a blanket while feeding). Also, I would take my son's hand and move his arm in a circular motion every time he'd start to fall asleep just to keep him stimulated. As soon as I started moving his arm he would wake right up and start sucking again. You could also try "playing" with his feet (lightly tickling them)... just anything that would help keep him awake. Good luck.
  • i just delivered by second son on July 1!  My first son was similar to your youngest.  One thing i tried to do to keep him awake was to keep switching him from side to side.  Another thing i did was i would strip him down a little-if he was colder my doctors and support were telling me the cold would help keep him awake.  Now obviously i'm not saying that i had it below zero, but instead of having him all nestled in and cozy i would maybe use a light blanket instead of his heavy one.  and i would have him in a onsie instead of full jammies.  i also fed him right when he woke up, then changed his diaper and then fed him on the other side. and if he still fell asleep i would have to find new ways to distract him-touching his face was starting to be a comfort for him so it started making him fall asleep it seemed like.  his feet were another great spot.  But absolutely talk to a consultant or a nurse.  they will have great ideas.  in fact my second son all he wanted to do was sleep and i just couldn't keep up with breastfeeding.  good luck and hang in there.  you are doing an AMAZING job!!!

  • sorry also, just try to "exercise" his legs and arms.  it might be just enough to get him to stay interested.  Take a little bit of pride though-even if he is chewing on you like a piece of gum or something-that it is mostly because it is you.  He just wants to be near his mommy.  (hopefully you don't hate me for saying that as i know that sometimes it is just more aggravating as it doesn't really help, but it made me feel a little better.  :)

  • I have talked with my lactation consultant, we worked on our latch which we were having troubles with, but he's still biting me and he's not getting full form just the lack of eating he's falls asleep on me, I just feel lost, I love him so much and want to succeed at this but seems as though were just bound to have a rough start.. hoping it'll get better.. thank you though very much

  • that's were I'm lost, I've tried ice on his feet, I know but was recommended to try, I'm rub his jaw, his head, I've tried a gentle nail rub down his back, I've down a cold wash cloth on his forehead, he is just bound to fall asleep regardless of my efforts, I'm look for some new ideas, everything I have tried has been recommended but all seem to fail.. they keep suggesting a bottle, I really don't want to bottle feed, I was only able to nurse my 1st son for 2 1/2 months and my milk was gone, it didn't fade away, it was gone over night, and I'm struggling to feed my newborn and all I want to do is cry, I feel like a failure and I'm so sore for being used as a pacifier I just don't know what to do...


  • I'll have to try to arm movement, I haven't tried that yet, but the tickling of his feet he goes to sleep, so I'm willing to try anything at this point to keep a bottle out of his mouth, we had to start with a bottle, he refused to cry at birth, I didn't hear him cry until 5am the next morning, and do to having the membrane scrapped (against my wishes I ask for natural dilation, the doctor induced anyways by scrapping the membrane) which my induced labor, was extremely painful and it stress the pregnancy and the baby, he was born with a blood sugar of 29, ideal is 50, 40 is ok, they took him off oxygen at 12:00pm after delivery and he was in my arms at 2pm the day he was born. They did what they felt was best but a bottle he doesn't have to work to get the milk from, he has to work to get milk from momma though, I'm lost on what I need to do, to get him healthy and to keep him healthy,

  • I have one new idea and that is messing with his arm, I'm doing what I can, but it doesn't make me feel very good that I'm struggling once again to nurse a baby, God made women to be able to do this and I feel like a failure because I can't stimulate him long enough to keep him awake now,

    doing the best I can, and I love him dearly, but I'm so sore from the "drinking 10ml falls a sleep, drinks 10ml falls a sleep, I end up nursing for 3 hours just trying to get in one feeding, I was awake at 2am yesterday laid down to sleep at 9pm and was straight back to the baby not 10mins after I laid my head on the pillow, I didn't even get to shut my eyes :( dragging but and have a 19month old who's up at 7:30am and a newborn I can't get full for him falling a sleep at the breast, I am a stay at home mom, I'm here anywhere between 8-12hrs alone. I just feel overwhelmed with it all

  • I don't hate you for saying anything, ur helping me, and I don't really get aggravated, just depressed from feeling like a failure... that is truth, he wants to be near me, and so did my 1st son, but I didn't struggle to latch or feeding with him until my milk vanished over night, then I got stressed out,  I'm producing about 3oz of milk at a time, but his is only taking a little at a time, I'm ready to try anything to just keep him awake, he stays awake for a bottle of breast milk, but not to nurse....

  • Cookie, don't get stressed.  A GREAT mom makes sure that her son is fed.  So don't stress out as that will only hurt the problem.  you have to be sure that you are taking the time you need to destress.  The baby has to learn how to suck because it is work.  Have you tried distracting him a little bit?  Not putting him to the breast?  With my oldest son, i had the same issues you did-i got a blister in the first few days and didn't realize it until later.  Long story short-once my husband would take him and try to distract him-it helped.  He was thinking (or i told myself that he did after a while :) > was that he had to nurse all the time.  10 ml is ok.  Maybe he doesn't need much more than that.  Try to keep him awake by laying him down.  Lay next to him and talk with him.  or put him in a swing or a vibrating chair of sorts or under a jungle gym to wake him up a bit.  I don't think that i was or am a good mother, but try to wake him up and let him know that there is more to life than just snuggling with you and eating.  it could give you some rest and him some time to bond with his brother too.  if you are that sore, they make nipple shield things that will help "ice" them.  I got them at the hospital and you can cool them to add even more comfort.  DO NOT feel like a failure though.  God made woman to have babies sure, but your boys are healthy, happy-even if they cry, and alive.  That is all you momma!! But just don't go to the breast everytime he cries.  It could very well be lack of stimulation.  you could try a colored ball or even the tv.  Actually my sons both liked being outside or looking out the window staring at the trees.  One thing that you should remember is that failing is different than learning.  you are not failing at being a mother.  you are learning just like the rest of us.  if you were a failure-you wouldn't have your kids. Your son wouldn't be growing or eating at all.  give yourself a break and know that you can do it.  and if not-which i hesitate to do but i really wanted to breastfeed also, but my second son and i just didn't work-you could pump and feed him that.  You will get your son fed and what he needs.  You just have to get to know each other.  Hang in there and just know that with everything-you will learn and are learning.  you are a great mother because you care SO much!! you want the best for your son. 

  • At this point i think it's important you know that you are not "Failing". As a mom you are doing the very best you can and many moms wouldn't have hung in there this long. I understand that you don't want to bottle feed, but there is going to be a point where you need to make a decison of what is best for your son. If he is chewing badly enough to hurt you then at some point he is going to make you raw and you will start to bleed and he will be drinking bloody milk, and you will be in pain on top of that...Not to mention he continues to fall asleep while nursing and you have said is causeing him to drink enough each time you feed him. There isn't any shame in pumping and feeding that way. I understand it is more difficult to keep your milk supply up while just pumping, but it can be done, and he will still be getting your milk. .. Anyway Kudos for caring so much about breastfeeding and doing what you feel is best for your newest little one...But at some point it can't be just about him. It has to be what is best for him, your 19 month old son you and your husband. If his breastfeeding issues are the cause of your not sleeping enough that will eventually make other things harder like taking care of your other son who needs you as well. Anyway i thought i would just lend a different prespective on the matter. I'm sure you have already considered all these things, but sometimes hearing it from someone else helps. Good luck with getting him to nurse correctly.

  • thank you so much, I'm trying to do the best I can,

    we're still struggling, but yesterday I did manage to get two full feedings off of playing with his arm, and a little cold lotion, I know but it worked,

    but once again, I didn't get to come to bed, I was down stairs 4 times in less then 20 mins, I know his belly was full but him and those hands, I bundled him up and trapped those hands away from his mouth and in less then 20 mins he had them untucked 4  times and at that mouth..

    once I just picked him up and gave him all I had to give, we both feel asleep b4 10pm and was awake at 4:30am, this anit right,  I guess until me and lil Jason come to a working routine this momma is couch bound.

  • I'm pretty lucky at this point, I don't have cracked nipples or blisters, but he sure does have me sore, I got some soothing cream, but I don't use it much, even though there all organic and safe for baby, I still hate putting things on my body, whether it's lotion or sunscreen, the pain of him chewing on my though is something I can hardly stand any more, were struggling with the left side latch on top of all this, he gets my nipple and not the areola like he's suppose to, but I'm just biting my tounge, gritting my teeth and baring threw it because I know he's just a baby and I guess I shouldn't stress so much over how much he eat at a time, I should really be greatful that I can nurse him regardless and that I don't have to give him formula.

    and thank you, yes it does help to hear someone else say it. whether good or bad or blunt it's always helps to to just say it, and that's why I say thank you to the mother's out there who know and understand what I'm going threw, cause if it weren't for all you nice ladies I would be totally alone right now.