Breastfeeding downer

  • I started formula feeding in between breastfeeding once my daughter was one month old. She now seems to hate the breast and only seems satisfied with the bottle. Pumping is out of the question because it hurts so much and I barely pump anything. I like it that dad can feed her, and I'm fine with the formula, I'm just sad that she suddenly cannot be satisfied with what I have to offer her. Any way to cheer me up?
  • You’re a wonderful, loving momma who’s doing so many wonderful things for her baby.  Your baby is so lucky to have you!  As parents, we shouldn’t set ourselves up to be perfect and live up to standards that may not be reasonable for our circumstances...especially since may not always get the support that we need.  <<big hugs>>

  • If you are interested in continuing to breastfeed, there may be some things that you can look into--making sure that you're not misinterpreting your baby's cues about being satisfied with breastfeeding; trying a different type of breast pump; making sure the breast shields are the right size for your body, etc.


    A lactation consultant would be able to give you some advice if resuming breastfeeding is the route that you decide to take.

  • Hi there,

    The reason your baby 'seems to hate' your breast is that she's now accostomed to drinking her milk through the nipple of a bottle. Sucking at the breast is not the same as sucking from a bottle.  To nurse a baby actually uses about a dozen muscles in her face to draw the milk from the breast, while drinking from the bottle all she has to do is suck and she's flooded with milk.

    Regarding your pumping, very little is coming out because you're drying up. The reason is simply your body sences no  demand so it's making no supply. If you're interested in increasing your milk supply and getting your baby back on breastmilk then consider going to a lactation consultant, before it's too late. A lactation consultant will advise you on how to build up your supply again.  And if you're still interested will help your baby learn how to suck at the breast again.  Also consider adjusting the 'strength' of the bump to a lower setting... If you keep on doing that... several times a day... you may be able to get your supply back up.

    Good luck



  • Thank you so much! I really needed some support. My fiance and I are fine with formula feeding, we just didn't realize the emotional stress of stopping breastfeeding so suddenly. I know that there are plenty of ways I can bond with my baby though. 

  • Even though you are formula feeding, feeding time can still be a great bonding opportunity. Snuggling your baby and talking to her while giving a bottle are wonderful things to do. Simply spending time with your daughter is what she really loves - no matter how you are feeding her. Congrats!

  • you're trying your best and thats what matters! i couldnt breastfeed my son due to a mild tongue tie. so i pumped for the first 3 weeks around the clock and just couldn't keep up with his large appetite. i had no choice but to supplement my milk with formula for 1st 3 weeks. due to a very difficult delivery and difficult recovery i had to give up bf when my son was 3 weeks. i felt so sad even though my husband reasured me constantly. my son is 3 months now and ive been trying to relactate on my own and have started using a breastmilk supplementer until i can build my supply up again. my sons tongue tie is better and he can actually latch on without getting frustrated for a bit.... im hopeful and would like to experiance bf... i too felt like it was cut short. i had no choice.... gl

  • I had a very difficult delivery with my first son. The medicine I was on relaxed my muscle and made me very drowsy, so I was not able to even hold my son for a couple of days when he was born. He started with bottle at the hospital, and when we came home, he was very frustrated with my nipple. He was very hungry baby, and my milk supply did not meet his demand. He started to lose weight very quickly. He lost whole pound in 3 days! His doctor told me to give him supplement, and it made everything worse. My son preferred the bottle nipple, and it would take him forever to latch properly. I ended up with cracked bloody nipple, so I started using pump. I fed him my breast milk for 4 weeks and switched to formula.

    I always felt that I failed him, so with second one, I tried very hard to keep breast feeding. I had cracked and bloody nipple on the second week again. I used pump to rest my breast for a day and then switched back to my breast. Luckily the second child is more patient then my first child, and so as me this time. He is 6 weeks old, and I am still breast feeding. I don’t know how long I will continue, but at least I don’t have to wash bottles and pump parts everyday!

    I think breast feeding should not be painful to mother. After going through pregnancy, giving birth, then we all suffer from lack of sleep once the baby arrives. If breast feeding takes a joy of having the baby, it’s not worth it if it makes mother upset and discouraged. If you tried hard, that’s what matter. Most important thing any baby needs is love and cuddle from Mommy J

  • i had the same problem but a nurse told me about a nipple shield is for flat inverted nipples or latch- on difficulties and it whorks just perfect  because the nipple is like a bottle have to try it buy it at babiesarus! and dont"give up!!!

  • I completely understand what you are going through as I experienced the same thing!  My baby just wanted the bottle and how much faster and easier he could get the milk.  I was amazingly disappointed in losing breastfeeding as an option, the more I tried to make him breastfeed, the more frustrated we both became.  I pumped for a while, but my supply took a huge hit, and I decided having to pump three times to only have enough for one bottle wasn't worth the time.   I had to realize that taking care of a baby is stressful enough without getting upset about how is he fed.  Formulas now a days are so good and specialized for a baby's needs, there is no reason to feel guilty.  I hold my baby close and just enjoy that I am able to still have the many special moments with him that I do and know that I am making him happy.  Congrats to you and God bless! 

  • I wanted to check in with you and see how you are feeling about all of this. There is so much emotional connected to breastfeeding, it is always a tough topic! I think that the members offered you some great support and advice. I want to add in that the time that you have already spent breastfeeding has given your little one wonderful nutrition and antibodies needed to build her immune system. I want you to really own the wonderful job that you have already done. Just like NurseJulie said bottle feeding is still a wonderful time for bonding and connection with your baby. If you want to continue to breastfeed some of the time you might consider a lactation consultant as mentioned above. If you call your babies doctors office they should be able to connect you with one. Breast shields can also work very well, and the lactation consultation could help you find the right size. I also want to let you know that it is ok if you want to bottle feed from this point on. You are a wonderful mother breast or bottle feeding! I would love an update on how you are feeling and coping with all of this. Cyber hugs headed your way, Jessica
  • I wanted to tell everyone that replied thank you very much. I have decided that I will start supplementing one formula bottle a day (more if absolutely need be) to help her feel full. I've noticed that it already seems to take some of the frustration out of feeding for the both of us. To hear from other moms that is going or has gone through the same thing I have has helped tremendously. Thank you thank you thank you!!!! Smile I just joined and you guys are helping so much.

  • Energizerbunny206: Glad you found some helpful message threads on here! Welcome to StrongMoms - as you can tell, there is so much advice and encouragement to be found here. :-) Tell us about yourself and your baby!

  • I had a similar experience only much sooner.  Two days after my daughter was born, I suffered from a case of Bell's Paulsy and had to go to the emergency room for several hours.  My parents were watching my daughter and she became hungry.  She was forced to drink formula even though I wanted to breast feed exclusively.  (luckily we happened to have a sample of some similac from the hospital)  Not only that, but due to an MRI subsequent to the emergency room visit, I had to "pump and dump" for two days.  The first few times I pumped were very uncomfortable.  Seven months later and I am still pumping.  My milk supply has dwindled, but she is getting all but 2 feedings a day of breast milk.  Stick with the pumping, it just takes time for your body to get used to it sometimes.Smile 

  • I had a terrible expierience with my Lactation Consultant, and totally gave up on BF for a few days, long enough to not be in terrible pain, then, I spoke to another LC, and she helped me a whole lot... I used a nipple shield, and if it wasn't for my daughters milk allergy- I'd still be breast feeding! It made me very sad that she couldn't take what I had to give! (Everything with milk in it would bother her- Milk, Ice Cream, Coffee, Chocolate, Yogurt, Cheese...anything I ate!)

    Always remember this- She loves you no matter how you feed her! She can bond with you, and her Daddy, and even Grandma and Grandpa... We all feel that we are going to be Super Mom! And very rarely, we are, but to our babies, we are 100% of the time. <3 Happy Healthy babies are all that matters- and it took me a little while to get over the fact I couldn't give her what I had to give... but having her happy made me happy!