Feeling Judged

  • Hi!

    No matter what you do, someone, especially family, will always judge you. There is nothing wrong with choosing to formula-feed your baby. As long as you are a good mommy and the baby is happy and healthy, and loved, their is no issue. I formula and breast-fed my first son, and my second baby, I have chosen to breast-feed. Its a matter of what works for you and your baby. Big Smile

  • frosting is nothing compared to what my mother in law tries to do to make me angry when it comes to my son. she tried to give him this greasy, fried, fattening, gross beef stuff when he was 3 months old, birthday icing when he was 4 months, ice cream around the same time, gatorade at 6 months... the list goes on forever. then she gets mad when i dont want to take him over there or want him to have those things. on top of all that, he is lactose intolerant and throws up all of the not baby things they give him when my husband take him over there and im not there. recently, i came home from work and he was having an allergic reaction to what ever they decided to give him. im glad im not the only one with this problem but dont ever let anyone make you feel bad about saying no to someone. it's your choice and your baby. they raised their kids how ever they pleased and now it's your turn.

  • christieandtroy36

    Wow, it sounds like your mother in law is having tremendous trouble "listening" to your wishes for your child. If possible, maybe you could bring her with you to your next pediatrician's visit and have HIM explain why feeding a newborn those types of foods are bad...especially if your child has allergic reactions! Good luck, it sounds like a tricky situation, but one that needs to be fixed ASAP!

  •  you need to do what is best for you and the baby.  my daughter just turned 5 months and was only bf for the first two months.  for me though i had stopped producing milk and only one side was working properly.  believe me i tried everything to produce milk but it didnt happen.  did i fel like a bad mom yes i did but then i learned i was not the only one who had the problem.  needless to say my baby has been on similac advance and is growing like a weed.  she loves her formula and has nver had a problem.  you are the mom you choose what is best.  you just have to nod and smile sometimes and let it roll off your back.

  • How's the baby doing now? I'm hoping that despite the formula, you can hold your head high with a healthy boy. 

    My story is a bit reversed.  I was breastfeeding my baby for 8 months. During that time, I saw 3 lactation consultants, had a plugged duct (bleb- complicated story) that lasted 2 1/2 months, and at 8 months when the bleb returned on the other breast, I weaned to formula. After I weaned, she started sleeping though the night and life got better.  I used Similac, but to save money,  tried to use generic target equ, and my baby won't take the generic stuff. Wow, can you believe she's a little foodie?

    My friend BF for 9 months before her baby weaned herself off. She would have to pump 8 times a day to get enough milk, and after a month it wasn't enough. She had to let it go because her baby refused to nurse.

    So, you never know what will happen with you baby. All those mom's giving  you a hard time about your baby may eat crow if they have the same situation happen to them as what happened to us. There are almost no rules to parenting (except don't shake the baby). There were no carseats 30 years ago, no organic options, no dev toys and opposite parenting rules as today. I hope you're more confident in your mommy-hood and get some rest!

  • my plan was to breastfeed as well , but i was in so much pain after having my daughter and i was on so much medication i didnt feel like breastfeeding while taking that much medicine was safe for my daughter..my husband is spanish and in his culture women NEED to breastfeed..i had alot of problems with my mother in law getting on my case about how my daughter would not be healthy and she wouldnt be smart and i was basically selfish for not wanting to breastfeed because i was in pain and exhausted and on so much medicine that i didnt feel right giving her my breast milk..i just felt like it was my decision and my husband was ok with me deciding to bottle feed her because he saw that i tried and that i was sick and exhausted....i do plan with my next baby to breast feed because i do think its healthier for the baby but that doesnt mean bottle feeding is bad and unhealthy ...bbut unfortunatly alot of people around me felt like it was horrible!

    good luck,

    - emily

  • Hi. Don't feel bad because you made the decision to not exclusively breastfeed. I didn't breastfeed my daughter, now 4, or my son, now 5 months because I didn't produce any milk. I started giving both of my kids formula since day two. People couldn't understand why I didn't keep trying and I felt bad so I tried again and people still didn't beleive nothing came out. I am satisfied that my kids had at least had a little of my breastmilk. I think it is the woman's decision if she wants to breastfeed or not. It's a lot of work and now a days, formula is just as good. It is your decision and you are doing what suits you and no one should make you feel bad because you are not following in their footsteps. Good luck!

  • I'm so sorry how people have made you feel, sincerely I am!!

    I exclusively bf my 6month old for 3 months, I didn't have much support other than the lactation consultant who was very helpful and called me ALL the time.  What I didn't like about that was how she would put down mothers who DID NOT BF it hurt to see how judgmental she was to other mothers; it led me to have unhappy thoughts about her and I stopped taking her calls!

    We are all women and I feel that NO MATTER what we need to support each other regardless of our feeding decisions!  So please don't feel guilty only you know your situation. 




  • I knew I would try to bf, but I also knew that it is more difficult than people let on. I've heard it said it is just natural. Yeah right, there's nothing natural about it. It seems very unnatural to me, it's painful and it's weird having a million people grab your boob in the hospital. I know that breast is best; it is beat into our head. My baby boy was born feb 1st, and he had trouble latching on from the beginning, even with all the lactation consultants help in the hospital. The last day in the hospital I couldn't take the pain anymore from him trying to suck, so I started to pump. That worked fine until the doctor put me on an antidepressant, so now my baby has to have forumla. I remember I cried for days, because I felt so bad he couldn't have my milk. I was a very good producer. I hate how society makes you feel if you don't want to nurse. My sister in law had a nurse that made her squeeze drops of breast milk onto a spoon and feed it to her baby in the hospital. Crazy! I think you tried your best which is great, but ultimately you are doing what's best for you and the baby. My sister told me my baby would rather have his mom around than have breast milk. At least he got the colostrum and my milk for a month and a half. I tried my best. I still have people make me feel bad about not bf, most recently a lady at church of all places.

  • Cabbage, it seems like to need to tell your husband's grandmother to mind her own business.  You shouldn't have to take mental abuse from anyone, especially from family.