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Hi there, I'm a new mom of a 10 month old boy. I was 100% for bottle feeding becuase I too thought I would feel awkward around my family breastfeeding. I honestly didnt decide until the baby was born when they asked me what I was going to do. I had my baby on a Tues, and luckily there were only 2 other babys at the hospital born around the same time. They had a lactation specialist on staff that literally told me every time they brought me the baby ( except overnight) she would work with me. I asked my family to respect my privacy, and I only had immediate family show up. I knew I would only have this women to myself for a day and a half ( having him natural) and I really needed the help. It was nice becuase I didnt have to worry about extended famliy or friends showing up with my breasts out trying to learn this. You have to learn how to position your baby and guide your nipple to his mouth. It feels a little wierd at first, you can actually feel the milk come down as they start to suck. It felt like the baby was scratching the sides of my breasts at first, and I did a lot of crying ( maybe it was the drugs!!) I even left the hospital unsure I would be able to do it on my own. My recommendation let your sister, mother or mother in law and your husband help you. I had 1-2 of them in the room while the woman was helping me, I was a little embarassed but to be honest who really cared! They love you and want you to do this for your baby. Its natural and the way god intended, so I was going to do everythig in my power to try and get this right. When we got home, the only position I had mastered was laying down. MY husband would actually bring the baby to me as I got in postion in the bed with my breast out for the baby. I also worked with a lactation specialist at my peditricians office the 1st day we were home to try and do this on my own sitting up. It took me about a week at home, but I finally got it. I would recommend buying "My Breast Friend" it is WAY better than the boppy pillow. It is flat for the baby to lay under your breast in perfect position for feeding. Have some burpies handy, my baby would not know when to stop and constantly be throwing up some- the doc said it was because he was drinking too much. You know what, dont worry if he got too much. its better than not enough. You'll go through a ton of bibs and burpie cloths! Another thing I wanted to mention is that if you decide to go anywhere, pump and bring a bottle with you, just know you need to be back home in 3-4 hours for next feeding. I bought the Medela pump. I stopped breastfeeding at about 8 months as he was biting!! I contniued to pump and supplement with Enfamil and just switched to Similac. Heres my oppinion, my family is conservative and no one in my family or extended family ever breast fed. Its your body, your baby and breastfeeding was the best thing I ever did for him. He had NO gas, I never had to burp him and do your self a favor and buy the Dr. Brown's bottles, they are the BEST!! They arent that hard to figure out and my baby was calm, not gassy at all and a super good baby- still is. I think its a combo of the breastfeeing and Dr. Browns! Anyway, I read your comment and felt the same way at first- ask your friends and family to give you space when the babys born, now its not a big deal to me....you really do well when you can pump or feed your baby in the car in an emergency! I did it and I didnt care what other people though!! I'm not that mom that will breastfeed in public places, no way but at a family members house, go somewhere private- no biggie!! If you need to go anywhere, be prepare and pump and bring 1-2 4 oz bottles while they are little. Good luck and I hope you found my story helpful!!
I too had my doubts, and it was my baby sister, who is ten years younger than I, who put them to rest. She was able to breastfeed, which gave me courage to do the same. Drop us a line here and let us know how it is going!
You may never get over the awkwardness, and that's okay. I've pumped and bottle-fed my daughter since day 1. She wasn't taking to the breast, so the nurses immediately brought in a pump. I was encouraged to see the lactation specialist, so I have it a try, but my dear Mina is a biter which made pumping feel like a gentle massage in comparison. Besides, I felt that same awkwardness, so I wasn't very passionate about direct breastfeeding (although I would have hoped to get over it eventually - I'm sure most women do). I went out and bought a pump and have been pumping and bottle-feeding ever since. It's worked out wonderfully. It's an initial investment; it's worth buying a good, double-breast pump (I use the Medela Pump-In-Style Advanced, which runs around $300, but when you compare that cost to the cost of formula feeding for a year, you're saving hundreds of dollars.
Aside from the physical benefits of breastfeeding to both you and baby, the financial benefits are a real motivating factor. I've fed Mina breast milk exclusively for her first 8 1/2 months, but my production took a dive a couple months back and I've burned through all my frozen reserves. Today we bought our first can of formula (Similac Advance w/ Early Shield), and it was $16 for roughly 3 days worth of formula. If I had been formula feeding the entire time, I would have spent about $1,350 by now on formula alone. Considering that, $300 for a pump looks like quite a deal.
If you're not sure if you can deal with pumping (you should pump frequently to keep your milk up, anywhere from every 2-4 hours), you can usually rent a high-grade pump from the hospital you had your baby at. I did that for the first month, before I was sure I'd never directly breastfeed.
I say give it a try and if you still have the strange feeling about it, then you can always pump. That way you and your baby get the benefits of "breastfeeding". Also with pumping feeding the baby is not just solely your responsibility, the father can feed the baby as well.
I really appreciate all the info and such that you all have givin me! :) We are still considering to at least give it a try once our daughter is born and the subject doesnt seem so foreign to me now. I have a real close friend who has 3 children and she breastfeed all of them and she is really helping me out and giving me some great advice. You all are a great support!! Thank you :)
I know how you feel. But breastfeeding is really simple and good when you get a hang of it. At least for 3 months. Just give it a starting from a month and see how you cope. That will lead you on or make you stop. It is kind of stressful if you are a working mother because you will need to express a lot of time and storage too. My baby has been on breastmilk right from birth she is almost 4 months now and i am thinking of introducing a formula alongside the breast since her appetite is really growing.
Give it a shot. Good luck with your try.
what if u just pump and bottle feed that is what i do
My Boyfriend and I felt that way too, for a while. But when I told him I was determined to do it he was determined to make it as akward as possible. It didn't work though, after I had her The first thing on my mind was that she needed to eat so I wanted to try. The nurse that was helping me made him leave the room for her first feeding and that made it alot easier on me for the akwardness. After that I didn't care. Possibly something you could try?
I felt awkward about it too in the beginning and it didn't go away for me so now i pump and bottle feed my 1 month old daughter. I recently watched a documentary that said breastfeeding reduces the risk of sids in the first month. I recommend that you try it and see if its right for you. Every new mom is different and you may even enjoy it.
your lucky my daughter was fully breastfed till 8 months and she still ate every 2 hours!
I don't know how to explain it, but the "awkwardness" just goes away when you see that precious baby sucking away at the breast and know that they live and thrive because of you. The thought of sex doesn't even cross your mind.
The part I have struggled with is the public aspect. There are some things that can help though. I received as a gift a breastfeeding smock that covers you and baby. Even if you are are in a private spot this will give you personal peace of mind. Others can't see through it and it covers you from your neck to your lap. I think mine came from Babies R Us. Also, check out some breast feeding tank tops. They have the snaps just like the maternity bras but it means you don't have to reveal your entire mid-drift and breast when feeding. Also, do a little research about breast feeding laws in your state. There are actually laws that help breastfeeding women. In my state, for example, a breastfeeding mom cannot be asked to leave any public place and employers are required to provide a private room, that isn't a bathroom, for moms who need to pump breast milk during the day. I've learned that I can use the dressing rooms at local retailers if they don't already have a designated breast feeding room. This will give you a private room where no one will see you breastfeed in a very public place. You may also want to consider taking a class or setting up a one-on-one meeting with a local lactation consultant for you and your husband. It's important that he feels comfortable about this too because he could be your biggest supporter. After all, your changing the way you've always thought about your breasts. He'll need a little support with that too.
From previous Poster:
I understand what you are asking, to tell you the truth when I was nursing, for the most part, I felt like they (the breasts) and myself became property of the baby, it's only for a short time in the grand scheme of things, my husband found it sexually appealing, at times, but for the most part, at least for the first few weeks I was in my pajamas on the couch feeling pretty crappy and feeling sexual was the last thing on my mind, my baby was what I thought about every waking moment. After you come out of the fog of the first few weeks, you begin to feel more sexual and having your breast out all the time feeding the baby might get your husband's attention, not to mention the nipples that are always screaming look at me.
All I have to say is DITO. Your not alone and you man is "For a short time" replaced by your baby and that's OK... if he has any issues just say It will help me get skinny real quick for you and my Boobs will be huge! Trust me 99.9% of men really enjoy the perks of the process too. Fair warning though don't let him get you too excited if he has issues with brest milk. Best of luck!
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