Suggestions for answering nosy questions?

  • I'm in my early 30's and unexpectedly expecting Big Smile my 3rd child. I developed severe postpartum depression after my 2nd child and I didn't get help until my child was almost a year old. Then it took a few months to find the right medication and counselor. So basically I was a wreck for my poor child's 1st year of life, not to mention my older child and my husband! Anyway, the meds & therapy were a literal life-saver. After finding out I was pregnant this time, my dr. recommended I check in with my previous therapist from time to time and they both strongly recommended I start taking meds & regular therapy as soon as I deliver. I agree. The problem is that the psychiatrist doesn't recommend breastfeeding on the meds due to documented "undesirable effects" on the baby (giving anyone "crazy pills" when they don't need them is not a good idea, much less a tiny baby).

    So I will be bottle-feeding. I have already had people grill me on why I'm not breastfeeding and I still have several months to go before the baby is here. I just don't feel like it's anyone's business but I don't want to be as rude to them as I think they are to me! It's not that I'm ashamed of the depression, but I definately don't like to talk about it at length especially to people who just don't get it. Suggestions on answering or responding when I get the breastfeeding questions/lecture?

  • First of all congratulations!!  I agree with you on that it is nobodys business and the choice is yours whether or not to nurse! I chose not to nurse and a couple of people asked me why and i said thats what i want to do.  I dont blame you for not wanting to explain why, again because its nobody's business.  Sometimes people just like to think they know what theyre talking about and want to push their ideas onto someone else.  If you dont want a conflict, sometimes its just best to let them talk, say thats interesting and ill think about it, lol.  If they keep talking maybe to get your point across maybe just say, ive already decided what i want to do, and its not up for discussion...I also think taking your meds and being able to take care of your children is far more important than breastfeeding....

    I cant stand when other people try to tell other people what to do!!  And really this topic is not something that you really need to deal with on top of taking care of your children, yourself and your unborn baby...You know what youre doing is right and dont let anyone tell you different...

    Hope this helps...Hope it does!!! (sorry, this got me all fired up...lol)

    *gina*

  • No matter the reason, choosing to breast or the bottle is a personal decision that no one has the right to make you feel bad about. I would simply tell them that you have no problem with the decisions you've made and that if they don't agree with it, then that's really on their end, not yours. It's so frustrating when people try to tell you what to do with your life, especially as a parent. But I think that this is one area where you definitely have to stand up for your own beliefs.