I need some help... from anybody

  • I want to breast feed with my soon to be born second child(a girl) I did with my first daughter for the first 3 months, but my husband doesent like the idea of it hes just kinda weirded out by the whole idea of it. He also worries that our daughter will be a wimpy kid if she breast feeds but my first daughter is anything but a wimp shes one tough cookie let me tell you her favorite thing to do is the "punch" game where she out of nowhere wil punch her stepdad (or whoevers within arms reach) right in the face....Im to the point that I think Im just gonna do what I want but I dont want to upset him because its his first child thats actually got some dna in common, Im really confused any ideas ladies?!

  • He has no business telling you how to feed your baby.  Breastfeeding is the way mother nature intended you to feed your child.  I only did it for two weeks but I had my reasons for changing.  And tell him you can pump and bottle feed her at times too so he can play a part in feedings sometimes.  That way you don't have all he pressure of it.  Sometimes I wonder about these dads!!

  • I planned on just pumping for one I felt better being able to see how much the baby was getting and two b/c I was not gonna let my hubby get out of late feedings!!

  • First off you need to let him on all the benefits. It's free, cheap, warm and always ready. He's probably just really nervous being his first. Your child will be less fussy. Breastfeeding even for the first couple months is such a huge benefit for your childs brain development. If he feels left out than pump and let him feed the baby with a bottle.

    Go in a store and show him how much formula costs and calcate the saves. Most men don't like to spend a fortune. My husband has some issues too, they all do. They can be jealous because they can't do it and the babies look to their moms. I still breastfeeding my 5 month old and working 3 days a week. He takes fomula too when he's at daycare, so do both.  I'm a nurse too, so I can see how torn you are between making your husband happy and doing what's best for your child.  In the long run, 3-4 months of breastfeeding will be, such a short time in the life you have with this child. Just do it and enjoy the time, soon enough the baby will want real table food. Your husband will get over it. Besides that breastfeeding will also give you health benefits too!!!

  • I breast fed for 6 weeks with my son, and the whole time I pumped and then fed from a bottle because he was to impatient to nurse. If you pump, then you get the benefits of the breast feeding AND you can include him on helping with the feedings. It was always nice to get a break so I could take a shower or even catch a 2 hour nap.

    Do what you feel is right. Really, the best advice I can give any one, it that "You will know your baby best, take what others say, but in the end, you make the decision that is best for you and your baby"


    Good Luck! :)

  • I have four children (boys, mind you). I breast and bottle fed each one. Let me tell you, my boys are anything but "wimps."  Do what you feel is best for your little one. Don't let anyone, even your husband, make you feel stressed out and confused about how you intend to feed your unborn child.  I breast fed my kids because of the all-important benefits that only mommy's milk can provide, but also included formula either as a supplement and to give myself a bit of a break so daddy could also feed baby. Do what you know is best in your heart. Have you tried talking with your OB? He/she may be able to offer a bit of practical advice as well.

    Hope this helps a bit. God bless you and your little one whose on the way. Take care.

  • I totally agree with you about knowing how much the baby is intaking of milk at each feeding.  I started breastfeeding for the first month, and had problems with nursing.  So I strikly pump now and feed my milk through a bottle.  I love it!!!!!!    This way it allows my husband to help me at night with the feedings, and I can try to get some sleep.  I plan to pump if I can for at least 6 months or even up to 1 year.   I was reading an intristing article last month in the Parenting Early Age Magazine where moms are now strikly pumping.  The mom on the article had been doing it for over 1 year already, which I thought was interesting, because it is time consuming to pump.  But well worth it.  I don't have to spend on formula and my son is colic free.  It has been a great experience so far.


    Good luck on your decision to pump.  I wish you well.



  • Sorry to hear that your husband is not very supportive about you breastfeeding.  Most men like the idea because then they don't have to worry about helping with the feedings.  I guess I am very blessed that my husband was very supportive about breastfeeding.  This is actually my third child that I breastfeed. I must admit with my other two children I was not very successful, only because of my milk supply with one just did not come in so I only breastfed for 3 weeks. With my second child she would not latch correctly no matter how much I tried, even the lactation nurse could not get her to latch. So I only nursed for about 1 1/2 with her. So I was forced to put both my first and second child on formula, and they are wonder kids.  One thing I've found specially with my son that he used to get colds or ear infections often, now he is past that.  He hardly gets sick at all but he is 11 years old. 

    I just feel you should go with your heart and do what is right for you and your baby.  I think your husband will come around and understand what is most  important is doing what is right for your baby.

    Good Luck

  • If you want to help your partner get comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding, perhaps he can talk to the partners of other breastfeeding moms.

  • hope all is going well! I hear this often, that guys are not supportive or have some weird myths in their heads like breastfed babies will be wimpy, girly, clingy etc... it's all pretty ridiculous if you ask me- and to be honest It's probably somewhat of an excuse for the real reason which is likely jealousy (guys want to be able to fix something, contribute etc.. and they are likely a little jealous because the spotlight is on the pregnant lady for 9 months : ) and then the baby gives mom attention too.  You do what you think is best for your child ! with that said, i liked what another post had to say about showing him the facts- I believe the american academy of peds recommends breastfeeding for a year- also, may be helpful if you go to a pediatrician you both like if you can get the pediatrician to recommend it/ explain the benefits so that it's coming from someone else not just you.  (there should also be a lactation specialist at the hospital- they are often the best advocates of breastfeeding)

    Also remain aware that in our parents generation many people formula fed, so who knows where your hubby is hearing influences from too

    good luck ! ! !


  • I am mother of a 3 months old boy. until now im still not over the fact that i failed to breastfeed him. It still hurts when i come across the word breastfeeding. i tried to nurse him but my whole family was unsupportive. Even when i tried to expess milk my father in law told me that he feel dissgusting and scared to see the color of human milk. My mom in law and my husband all told me to stop. In the end i quit after he was 2 weeks old. I still feel that i failed as a mother to give him the best start. i was not determined enough

  • Tell your husband to read the facts about breastfeeding before he makes any decisions. According to the Academy of Pediatrics, breastfeeding has numerous health benefits. The Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for the first 6 months with supplemental breastfeeding for the first year and beyond if possible. Check out the guidelines here and the health benefits. Send your husband this link and then have an open and honest discussion with him and your pediatrician about the many benefits of breastfeeding. This may help him get comfortable with the idea.


  • First things first. Get yourself educated on breast feeding.  Or at least RE-educated. You know the benefits, you can see them with your first born but it never hurts to re-learn something.

    Secondly, find out why he's so weirded out by breast feeding. Where on earth did he get the idea that the baby will be wimpy? Does he want a bigger part in the feeding ritual? Does it bother him that he will have to 'share' that part of you with another person? Is he scared your gonna look like a monkey with a baby hanging off your chest? Talk to him about his fears and your own.  DO NOT lecture him. Guys hate that.

    Point the pros and cons of both breast feeding and bottle feeding.  Offer a compromise if you are comfortable with it. Pump milk and keep it on hand to bottle feed. Point out the cost effectiveness of reducing baby bills plus the health benifits.

    Finally, DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST. You love him, you made a baby with him, his role up to this point has been to support you and you will need his continued support AFTER baby is born. Remind him of that. He may be worried that you will stop looking at him and pay more attention to the baby after she gets here. (Childish fear but a legit one all the same.) But honestly you do have a say in what goes. Remember that and everything you have learned and can see with your first born.

    Good luck and congrats on the baby!

  • you could take him to a breastfeeding class offered by most hospitals. or sell him on the idea of pumping. Our 2nd little one came very early and pumping breast milk is what got her out of the nicu. Great benifits to breastfeeding and if it's just the matter of the action of breast feeding then try pumping instead plus there is added freedom he could help out with feedings and helps the two bond. Also try to reassure him that you have been through this process before and to trust your instincts.

  • my husband didnt like the idea either, i couldnt BF my eldest and wanted to BF this one.  After some struggles she is doing well and my husband is fine with it, when he felt uncomfortable in the first few weeks he would just leave the room.  now it is cute as my son, 2 1/2 tries to nurse his animals and is very curious about it! just do what your comfortable with and he will come around