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I am a new month (as of 6 months ago) and I am struggling with the battle of feeling bad about wanting to change my daughter over to all formula. She has Pierre-Robin (a smaller lower jaw and a cleft palate) and due to this she was unable to go to breast. I have been pumping since day one and just really starting to feel as if I am losing time with my daughter and family since I am always hooked to that pump. I am looking for advice for this and how to cope with a child that has to go through numerous surgeries and extras and how to balance life and a baby.
First of all, try not to feel guilty about any aspect of parenting. You are doing your best and you have to balance many things as a mom, especially when your child has complications. My sister is going through something similar, as my 5-year old niece has leukemia. She has three older daughters and feels like she is neglectful of them because she is constantly at the hospital and dealing with the illness. You are a mom and not Superman! Just take it day by day and do what you feel is right for your baby and the rest of the family. There will be discouraging days for sure, but all you can give is your best. Good luck.
Hey there! You certainly have your plate full - a new baby is a handful to begin with, much less one with medical needs. I commend you for pumping and feeding all this time. Way to go! That is no easy task! Certainly with repeated surgeries, family needs, and time constraints, breastfeeding and pumping is quite time consuming. While it is true that breastfeeding provides your child with the best nutrients and antibodies from you, formula feeding is also a perfectly acceptable method for feeding your child. I personally think that there really ought to be no guilt in the decision to feed however you feel best for your family. You are obviously a really loving and wonderful mother - the decision to formula feed or breastfeed says nothing about how dedicated you are to your child. Whatever decision you make, keep your head up and be proud of your ability to make the right choices for your baby!
My 10 year old neice was born with this condition. I remember my sister had to quit her job because she was having to take her to UVA for surgeries and checkups. I also remember they had to put splints on her poor little arms so she could not touch her mouth. I know it took my sister a long time to feed her because she had to be carefull. When you are having to spend so much time with feedings I would not feel bad at all for having to switch to formula. The checkups should dwindle over the years. At 10 my neice is going to have surgerie again this summer, because her mouth is growing and pallet will be replaced I think. She has some trouble with breathing, and has tubes in her ears. She is really healthy and active. She does take speech therepy one time a week now, because she has a nasal sound. This will all become easier over the years, I know it is hard for you now. This kid is wide open, healthy, and happy. I am sure yours will be to.
It sounds too frustrating for your part. I had a patient before who had the same problem(I'm a nurse actually). But you should not feel guilty for yourself. You can try having her beside you while being attached to the pump. It's just about acceptance of the situation that would make you feel a lot better.
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