need help with brestfeeding

  • Ok I have a 3 yr old as of march who would not breastfeed when she was born. I tried to get help but the nurse at the hospital just said hold her up there she knows what to do I was in tears cause my newborn child was screaming with hunger and i was so awkward and lost i couldnt feed her. She would try to latch on but couldnt and i didnt know how to help her. So the nurse got mad when i asked once again for help took dd to nursery and gave her a bottle. that was it my husband was furious and i was crushed. I do have extremely large breasts (ddd) and wonder if that had something to do with it. Anyways i ended up after trying and trying just pumping and feeding that way with formula support.  I was 26. Now at 29 im 5 weeks pregnant and first thing on my mind is OMGosh i cant go through that again. My mom is no help  she tried but she was as lost as i was. Is there anything out there where i can find support and help to teach me after baby is born and help me to breastfeed? I feel dumb asking i mean this should be so easy and natural but for me its not :(  

  • My son was born Apirl 14th of this year. I told my doctor I wanted to breastfeed, I asked if there was a change I couldn't because I was only 90 lbs before I was pregnant. he told me some babies just don't latch and they don't completly realize what to do. My son had no trouble at first with breastfeeding. But after two weeks I found out I was no making enough milk. Some babies just don't understand how to latch, I would try bringing him/her when she/he is born to your breast and before trying to get him/her to latch on, making your breast leak enough so they can taste the breast milk. They should realize easier that way.

  • It's great that you are being proactive in looking for help.  There are great resources that can help you.  Have you  been to a La Leche Leauge meeting?  Is there a group near youBelieve it or not, it's great to go to meetings while you are pregnant.

    It's not dumb at all to ask for help.  Breastfeeding is new for so many people because so many of us don't see it regularly.  We don't get to interact with other breastfeeding mothers.  Imagine if you had to learn how to drive a car, but everyone around you was accustomed to taking the bus!

    The doctors and nurses in hospitals are knowledgeable about a wide rang of things.  However, they don't have specialized knowledge about EVERYTHING.  No one can know everything.  I've learned that International Board Certified Lactation Consultants are very knoweldgeable about human lactation, milk prouction, getting a good latch, etc .  However, you may not have free & easy access to them.

    There are also some very helpful websites. Dr. Jack Newman has great videos and information on his website.

    Keep us updated.

  • Don't worry.  Each baby is different.  I would try the La Leche League for online info. Your Hospital or OB may have breastfeeding classes available also.   Try and keep a positive mind.  Your not likely to have the same experience as you did last time.  Good Luck!

  • Oh my goodness - what a ROUGH experience you had with your first!! I'm so sorry you had such a crummy nurse - as a maternity nurse, I would be horrified if I saw another nurse treating a patient that way. You are NOT dumb for having a difficult time breastfeeding. I would say I spend half my day telling patients this! A lot of people think that breastfeeding should be the easiest, most natural thing ever but until you have gone through it, you don't realize that there can really be a lot of difficulties! This is not to say that it is not worth it. I would really try to look up a breastfeeding education class while you are still pregnant and go to it. It will make a bit difference to have some helpful knowledge. Not all babies really do know what to do - they need guidance and help - just like when they learn any new task. I echo APmomma and suggest looking up a Le Leche League in your area and connecting with them. They give tons of great support and advice about breastfeeding. When you are in the hospital, share with your nurse that breastfeeding was very stressful with your first and that you are really hoping for a better experience this time - ask to see a Lactation Consultant if possible when in the hospital. They can also help you get started in the right direction. Also, do you have any friends who breastfed? Maybe they can help you too if you are at home and need someone to call. Hang in there - it does NOT have to be the same nightmare it was the first time. I'm rooting for you!

  • Thanks everyone Im going to look up the Le Leche League right now. My friends with children chose not to BF. Im older and have one kid under my belt so this time im less intimidated by the whole birth and having a baby thing so i believe that will help me be able to focus more on BF and succeeding instead of feeling all the stress and pressure of being a new mom on top of it :) At least im hoping haha.  Thanks again for all the support and info i will def be going to research it now and will also be discussing with my dr early on about BF and getting any help i can find :) Thanks again you ladies are awesome :)

  • my daughter and i had the same problem she was doing ok at first just real stubborn about latching on would take about five mins of fighting to get her too and the nurse took her to the nursery when i was sleeping and fed her a bottle and after that she didnt eat for a full day, with me in tears and my husband stressed to the max about it we finally just gave her a bottle once we got home (the hospital wouldnt give her a bottle after the first one because i was supposed to be breastfeeding when in fact they shouldnt have given her the first one) well turns out my daughter thinks bottle are easier and so thats how it went she just got bottles. With my son (who was born a month ago) i told the hospital breastfeeding only and we tried it again he is still breastfeeding now and doing great with it, i think the thing that helped me most was i was more calm with my son, he not being my first and i had more patience with working with him on it, 

    as for advice that i can give you is have patience, ask for a different nurse or manager if your uncomfortable or unhappy with the nurse you have and let the hospital know that it means a lot to you to breastfeed your baby, and a lot of doctors and hospitals have breast feeding classes. talk to your doctor and express your concerns to him and they can give you a more personal help with it. Congrats and good luck!!!

  • "as for advice that i can give you is have patience, ask for a different nurse or manager if your uncomfortable or unhappy with the nurse you have and let the hospital know that it means a lot to you to breastfeed your baby, and a lot of doctors and hospitals have breast feeding classes. talk to your doctor and express your concerns to him and they can give you a more personal help with it. Congrats and good luck!!!"

    My advice is to ask for the hospital's lactation consultant.  Of course, you could talk with your general practitioner about a heart issue, but a cardiac specialist would be more helpful.

  • I had my first on April 9th this year and I had trouble breast feeding. I have flat nipples so she had trouble latching on. The nurse gave me a nipple shield that I could put over the nipple and it helped her to be able to latch on. I couldn't find a second one at Walmart  but Target carries them. I just found out that I am not making enough milk so I have started to supplement with formula. The doctors still encouraged me to breast feed some and I now put it in a bottle so we can measure it. I don't know if the nipple shield would help you or not.

  • I have a similar situation.....My son was a difficult case to breast-feed so I gave up entirely and regret it. That was 6 yrs ago and now I have my daughter who is 5 days old and breast-feeding her. So far it is going good. I decided that I did not need to get so upset when the baby would cry. So instead I would sing through it and just keep latching her on. She even is a little jaundice so I have to do formula as well for now. But she is healthy and gaining weight so I keep trying everyday, and everyday we get better at is. So my suggestion is to stay calm and just do as your instinct tells you to. G/L.

  • It's horrifying that you had to go through such a negative experience like that. A specialized lactation consultant could really help and may be able to give you a lot more information than a general OB nurse.    I just met with a lactation consultant with my local hospital and luckily she was nothing like the nurse you experienced.  Call your local hospital, OB, or health department and see if they have any lactation consultants on staff.  If you have to go outside your local community to some surrounding towns and see what they have to offer.  A one-on-one meeting with a lactation consultant could really help.  If that doesn't work, look for videos.  The consultant I saw had 2 or 3 DVDs that showed specifically how to get a baby to latch, what a good latch looks like and what a bad one looks like, how to break a bad latch get a good one instead, what some of the sensations are that you may feel, why cracking, bleeding, and soreness may occur, etc.  The video she showed me was very helpful and gave details she couldn't show me at that time.  Don't worry, my mom breastfeed but she still couldn't tell me what I needed to know.  It's not something you automatically know and it's okay to ask for help.  Just don't let someone else interfere with what you want to provide for your child.     

  • Hey AuroraBelle08 , you're not alone with that... I'm 31 and just had my first in April of this year (she came at 28 weeks). The breastfeeding is slow going and it doesn't help that due to breastfeeding I am now a size H :|  I didn't know they could come that big... It's hard to breast feed an infant under 5 lbs like that... Anyways... WIC (women infants & children) have lactation consultants that are always willing to help, as their gov't funding relies on successfully breastfeeding women. Also, when you deliver at the hospital ask the nurses for the lactation consultant.. they are a lot more helpful! Good luck and congrats!

  • Thank you everyone i really appreciate all the support and help. I have found and contacted my local Le Leche League and am making a list of things to talk with my dr about. Turtle I was a D before my pregnancy with my first which ended with me as a DDD and they never went back down lol not fun. So not looking forward to how big this ones gonna make them although i cant say hubbys complaining but he doesnt have to lug them around LOL.  Im only 6 weeks along and my breasts hurt soooo wickedly bad. I dont remember that happening with my first. 

  • I am an RN, and am so upset that the nurses would treat you like that!  Always remember when you are in the hospital, you are the client and you get to decide!  Most hospitals have lactation consultants that are available to help with breastfeeding, and your nurses should be trained to help you as well.  I have a 1 month old and our nursery nurse helped us figure out breastfeeding while we were still in the hospital.  If you feel you are not getting the help you need, ask to talk to the charge nurse and find someone who will help!  I've also relied on the La Leche League (, they are wonderful, and have leaders and meetings all over the place.  I had a question and emailed a leader in our area and had an answer right away.  Good luck with your pregnancy and breastfeeding.  It is hard in the beginning, but once you and baby figure it out it is the easiest thing ever!

  • It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but we pushed and pushed through and now she's 10 months and I don't know how I'm going to get her off of me! Wink It does NOT always come easily and naturally to you or to the baby!  The bottle will always be easier, but not better!  It took even the first few months before I really felt like I knew what I was doing, but it will get easier!

    I had to ask repeatedly for help, until I found a lactation consultant who actually helped me! My first one did all the work, picking up my babies head, putting it where it needed to be, etc and then said ok YOU do it, and I was LOST! She did it so fast and I was so confused!  Then when I asked to see another one, my nurse said oh I'll show you and she was NOOO help either! I still made an appointment with another consultant. My baby was a bit jaundice so we had to stay an extra day in the hospital which actually helped give us more time to learn! The next consultant came twice and she told me how and let ME do it myself!  I guess it all can depend on your learning style and the teaching style of the consultant, but keep at it until someone actually helps you!! Your pediatrician may also know the name of someone who can help you or a group you can work with.  If it were super easy, people couldn't make a profession out of teaching others! Good luck!! Keep at it, don't get discouraged, but always know that if you end up not being able to do it, you did your best and you are caring for your child whatever it takes!!