Lying -

  • I’m catching my son lying to me more and more lately (he is 3) and also arguing with me about basic things such as putting his shoes on, etc. Is it worth making a big deal out of these incidents? How do you teach your little kids about truth telling when they don’t really understand a lot of logic yet? --Julie, StrongMoms Facilitator

  • good question... I think that if i were in your shoes i wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, but i would definitely call him out and correct the behavior and let him know that it is not OK to be lying and arguing. If it continues maybe a time out is in order. And when it is over make him apologize for what he has done so that he understands that that action is what caused the time out... but being that hazel is only 10 1/2  months old i haven't really reached that stage yet. I have heard thought that all children go through stages of lying and testing boundaries so stay firm and it will pass. maybe MommyRN4 or AnwderDad can shed some light on the subject since they have older children and have probably been in your shoes.

  • Thanks! So far I've done exactly that - called him out on his lying. He told me his timer went off in his room for his one hour of quiet time. I knew it was much too early for it to have gone off and asked him to please tell me the truth. He immediately changed his story and told the the truth. I then told him I was proud of him for telling me the truth and it made me happy. Hoping this positive reinforcement will help him along. If he knows that I am proud when he is truthful and that there are consequences when he lies, hopefully the firm boundaries will help push him towards choosing the right thing. :-) 

  • Lying is definitely a major issue with us. At times when my child's lies involve others, I prove that I will go to great lengths to discover proof and expose the truth. All along the way, I provide my girls an opportunity to confess the truth. It may not be politically correct, but my girls also think that lying will turn their tongues black. Where this helps is that when they are questioned about telling the truth, they stick out their tongues to prove it! I don't think you can let this slide at any age in my opinion. My oldest was shocked to learn that we were going to have conferences with her kindergarten teacher, and then came clean on some issues where she had not been totally honest. Good luck!

  • AnswerDad - where did they get that tongue idea? You guys? Lol - kids believe the funniest things. I agree with you that lying needs to be nipped in the bud. What seems innocent and cute now can be out of control and ugly later. 

  • You two are cracking me up!  Having grown up a very gullible child I can see just how you have them believing their tongues are going to turn black...my thought is black and furry perhaps?! lol. 

    -Jess 

  • My wife came up with the idea and now if either of my older two are not telling the truth, they refuse to show their tongues! It's an easy tell, but it won't last long!

  • We reinforced telling the truth from the day our son could hold a conversation. To this day he will speak the truth even if it means he's in trouble. The key for us is explaining that when he tells the truth, it helps us to understand what's happening in his life and it will be better for him to just tell the truth from the start. So far , so good.

  • Garyg133-

    This is a great way to go about the issue.  I'm impressed!

    -Jess