7 yr old keeps lying

  • We are having problems with our daughter lying to us.   She has started doing it more often and it is always about something really small.   She says she lies because she doesn't want to get in trouble.  We can't get her to understand that her punishment is worse b/c she lied.  We have tried spanking, taking toys aways,  not letting her play w/ friends, you name it.  I just don't know what else to do.  We can't just not punish her if she does something wrong, but I don't want her to be so worried about the punishment that she wants to lie.

  • let her know you are upset and that you can find out the truth. also promise her she will not get into trouble by telling you the truth and keep the promise. In my case, I have a camera in their room, so it is just a question of turning it on to view them  but I make sure I get the truth before viewing.

  • Right now, you need to talk with her about how lying makes you feel and why you need her to always tell you the truth. Let her know that when she lies, she is telling you that she doesn't trust you to handle the truth. Also, when she tells you the truth, try going a bit easier on her with the punishment and make sure you tell her..."I was going to punish you with no TV for the rest of the night....but since you told the truth and I am proud of you for that...I am only going to punish you from TV for an hour." Something like that...and then really pump up the fact that you are proud of her for her honesty.. You are setting up the ground work for later on in life..As teenagers, they will make mistakes, but they always need to know that they can come to mom and dad for protection and help. Good luck and let us know what works. It is a tough battle we all must face!!!
  • Jenny8_11: Wondering how things are going for you now?? Do you still have difficulty with lying or have you figured out a good solution? I like MommyRN4's suggestion of explaining the difference in consequences because of truth versus a lie. Maybe you could also hype up truth-telling by reading about great people who triumphed because of truth, stories of kids who are honest, etc. Let us know how things are!

  • Jenny-I just wanted to check in and see if you have tried any of the suggestions by member and I wanted to see how things are going. I hope that things are improving. -Jess