Dividing my time

  • I have a 3 year old son who is used to being the center of the universe for the last three years, and now I recently had a baby girl. I am a full time working mom of two babies and find it very hard to divide my attention to both kids. Most of the time I work late and see my children for maybe 1 to 2 hours a day. Right now it seems that the most quality time I have with my daughter is in the wee hours of the morning when we are up for feedings. As for my son he seems to want all my attention all the time.  What can I do to help to divide my attention between the two, and not feel guilty that I did not get enough quality time??

  • We are the working parents of 3 girls and my wife and I always feel guilty that we don't get enough time with all three of them. The only thing you can do is make certain the time you do get is quality time. Your baby has a built-in best friend in your son, so the emotional needs of your son are probably greater than the baby. All we can do as parents is our best!

  • Sometimes the best thing to do is make sure your time with your kids is quality time versus quantity of time. Perhaps you can come up with some purposeful activities to do with them when you see them at the end of the day. Having a great bedtime routine that includes baths and books and snuggles, an outing to the park with your full attention, or some kind of game you make up at home. You can never be perfectly equal with your time but you can be purposeful! 

  • As a mother of 4 (going on 5) children, I understand your frustrations and concerns. I choose to focus on quality time rather than quantity. Once a month, I try to take one of my children out for the night-just them and I. We might go shopping, out to dinner, or to see a movie. In addition, I try to carve out a few minutes each night to talk to each of my kids. Just try not to beat yourself up....you are doing the best you can and your kids know that. Feedings DO count as bonding time...don't think they don't. You are letting your little one know that you are there for her every need. Just like reading a book to your oldest or snuggling on the couch while watching a movie--all of these count! 

  • Emily1172012 -

    You posted this quite awhile ago and I wanted to find out how things are going for you and your kiddos. Is there anything we can do to support you?  Would love an update,

    Jess

  • Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure you are doing your best to divide your time between the two kids, I think that give you son more attention but don't totally ignore the new addition to the family. Whenever you get to spend time with your son talk to him about his little sister so that he gets used to the fact that the new baby is here to stay and help him develop a bond with his sister.