4 year old plus new baby

  • I am currently 14 weeks pregnant with my second child. My First will be 5 in march. I'm not due until June but my husband and i are having issues trying top figure out how to explain to him that mommy has a baby growing in her tummy. Part of the problem is I am already showing Confused so we can't wait too long before telling him or else it might cause other issues. But we have no clue how to explain that mommy and daddy love him just as much as we did before and that...I dont know...I'm really at a lose here on what to do. Any advice would be greatly and happily accepted.

  • One way to explain it to him is to buy a book that tells a story about a child who is getting a new brother or sister. These books can easily explain to him that a new sibling is on the way and can prepare him. At 5, it shouldn't be too tough to prepare him. He may feel a bit of jealousy, but the sooner you inform him of the family's new addition, the better it will be. Let us know how it works out!

  • thanks so much for the advice

  • You might be surprised at how excited he might be to be getting a new baby brother or sister. My children were thrilled to learn that mommy had a new baby in her tummy. Many people expect their children to be jealous of a new baby, but many children adjust just fine. I like the idea of getting a few books to explain it to him. Another idea would be to let him be involved in the planning for the baby. Maybe he can come with you to an ultrasound or let him pick out a fun new blanket for the baby. If he feels like the baby is going to be a "part" of the family, then he will be less inclined to see the new baby as a replacement in any way. Good luck

  • My son is 4 and he really loved the idea of being involved and he understood what was going on when I got further along little things like letting feel the baby when she was moving sometimes I would make my belly move if she wasnt moving just to see his excitement also watching my husband when he would talk to my belly my son and daughter both loved doing that..  I also looked up some pictures online so they could see what the baby looks like inside my belly we didnt have very good ultrasound pictures as she was being a little shy hehe so we just looked some up and showed him..  I think if you have kids be involved in as much as they can be it helps alot and neither one of my kids have been jealous or have had problems except with who gets to hold her..  I was also very suprised as how big of help my son is he will be 5 soon but he loves to feed the baby and he can hold her and feed her and also burp her he loves that he is a big brother and the responsibility to help take care of his baby sister!!!

  • I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my second and I told my 4 year old son that we were having a baby.  He said "a baby for me?"   Every week we look at pictures and see what's new with the baby.  I also bought one of those bebe monitor's to listen to the fetal heartbeat.  We do that about once or twice a week.  We don't hear too much but it's helped him feel connected to the pregnancy.  Now he lifts my shirt and kisses my belly and talks to the baby when we wake up in the morning.

  • thanks for the imput we're going to Disney here and a abotu a week and i think we're going to tell him about it after the trip.

  • Hi There,

    My son (1st born) will be 5 in March too and I had a baby girl this last June (2009), so they are 4 1/4 years apart. I thought the same way as you wondering if I had enough love to go around, but everything was fine. I love them both in different ways and my son loves being a Big Brother. Just keep telling him that he is the Big Brother and make it very special for him. My son loves having a baby sister. We did have some problems with him reverting back to being baby-like, but we're dealing with it. He hears people say how cute his siter is all the time and that is kind of tedious for him, but for the most part he loves his sister and there isn't a lot of jealousy. Once in a while he will ask me to "hold him" after I feed his sister...

    Good Luck...you'll be fine. Congrats!

  • We also got the fetal monitor and my son always wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat..it was very cute. Have fun in DisneyLand...we are taking our son for his 5th Birthday in March and he is soooo excited! We told our son about the pregnancy after the first tri-mester. He told the Preschool that "he was having a baby!" The teachers laughed and said, "I think it's your mommy who is having the baby!" So, the teachers heard from him before me and started congratulating me...too funny, huh?

  • i'm not worried at all about having enpough love to go around i'm only 15 weeks and i already love the child growning in me. It's helping my 4 yr old to understand that mommy and daddy have enough love to go around