Taming the Tantrum

  • With the onset of toddlerhood inevitably comes the temper tantrum. Whether you call it the "terrible twos" or growing pains, these upset outbursts in public and private are definitely a normal, if annoying, part of healthy child development. How you react, though, can affect how long your toddler's emotional explosion lasts, in the short and long terms.

    My older daughter, Sabrina, was the queen of the meltdown from age 3 to about 4-and-a-half. From hitting to throwing things to laying down on the front porch screaming at the top of her lungs that she would not get in the car, if there was a way to throw a fit, she used it. My response was usually the same: ignore her yelling until she realized she wasn't getting what she wanted. Then follow up with hugs, kisses and sometimes a good nap.

    What are some tried and true tantrum tamers you've found calmed your child? What do you do to make sure you keep your cool when a meltdown comes on?

  • tell her d normal things

  • I always repeat back to them what I know they want and then give them a quick explanation why they cannot have it. With my youngest I simply walk away after that. With my older son I carry him to his room and tell him when he feels better he can come out. When it is over we go right back to playing.

  • My daughter has recently begun throwing tantrums. Being our first it has been a rapid learning process for my wife and I. My daughters crying and screaming breaks my wife's heart. While I prefer to let her continue until she realizes it will not get her what she wants from me, it is still very hard to sit through without wanting to pick her up and make it all better too. Each time she has a tantrum it seems what worked before doesn't this time. It can be trying at times, but together my wife and I work as a team to bring her back to smiles.

  • We do the same ignore...it's the only thing that works.  Seems however, we never experienced terrible 2's.... just 3's and 4's I wonder where terrible 2 came from?

  • I've found that the whole idea of positive reinforcement works well to prevent tantrums from starting. When my kids are playing well together or they ask me for something without whining or throwing a fit, i'll praise them for it. For example..."You two are playing so well together! Laurel, I love it when you're so nice & you share with your brother! He is so lucky to have a big sister like you!" or " Cole, thank you for asking so nicely for a drink. I would be happy to get you one since you were so polite!" Kids love the praise & attention they get from you when they behave well & it makes them less likely to throw a fit to get your attention.


  • FarrellClanMom- Same here! Terrible 3's and 4's all the way. The 2's were saintly. :)

    bflick1824- I do the same thing, especially concerning manners. I give tons of praise and as much attention as I possibly can.

  • Boy you guys are lucky! Jordan hasn't been 2 for a month yet and she's been firmly entrenched in the Terrible Twos for at least half a year already. Tantrums every day 'round here!

  • I thought I was lucky too until the horrific, rotten, evil 3's rolled around. :) I miss my sweet boy~! LOL.


  • Yikes! You folks are starting to spook me - if my daughter's having tantrums this early now I'm wondering what's in store for the next few years, lol. Here's hoping for the best Wink!

  • Hi Im new to this i'm a mom of three kids. I'm new to temper tantrums my oldest son never had a temper tantrum.    My question is how can i stop my 14 month old daughter to stop banging her head on the floor when she doesnt get her way?  Im worried she might severly hurt her self and I talked to my ped and he said if she hits her head hard enough she will stop.  But she hasen't.  I put down pillows and tried to grab her as fast as I can.  And my older son tries to.  If you have any sugestions please let me know I don't know what else to do.  Everybody says ignore it but I can't. 

  • Strongdad- Maybe your little girl is just getting it out of the way. :)

  • My now 5 year old did that when he was younger but used the wall instead of the floor. What i used to do was take him by the arm( not mean just put it in my hand) and guided him away from the wall. On the occasion that didn't stop it, i did just let it go, i would walk away from him and ignore it( as hard as it was to do). Once he realized that what he was doing was getting absolutly no reaction from me(horrified or other) he would stop. They do grow out of that "phase". Good luck

  • Thank you I need it.  She has been doing this for about a year now.  I'v walked away but she still keeps on  banging her head.  And it gets worse when dad comes home from work and he don't pick her up right away.  When will it end?