Pregnancy #3

  • I just found out I am pregnant with number 3 and this was totally unplanned and unexpected.  I just really got to a place where I felt things were settled.  My oldest is just finishing kindergartner and my youngest is 3 and finally potty trained.  I am feeling very sad and depressed.  I can't stop worrying about finances and where everyone will sleep, and how to fit everyone in the car, and just starting over again.  I told my husband and my mom, but I just don't anyone else to know.  Can any one relate or make me feel better about the situation.


    thanks for listening.

  • Well first of all, even though it's a surprise, congrats!  My current pregnancy was also a surprise.  We were using protection, totally not trying for a baby anytime soon, and wound up getting one anyway.  At first I was like you, very worried about how it would all work out, but as time has gone by things have smoothed out a lot.  Within a couple months of finding out my fiance moved in with my daughter and I.  That's been a huge help as far as finances and housework go.  I've also been able to find a lot of great deals on baby items which has made it a lot easier to stock the nursery.  I'm 35 weeks now and I'm still a little worried about paying the bills while I'm off work (I'll be making half what I usually do) but I think that it will all work out okay.

    Just remember that you've done this before.  I'm sure you'll be able to do it again.  Do you have anything left from your first two children?  If you don't at least you're finding out at a good time of year.  If you're trying to save money now is the prime time to buy gender neutral items from yard sales and consignment shops.  Is your husband worried about the pregnancy too?  I know that sometimes we (pregnant women) tend to worry over things that we don't really need to.  Good luck with your pregnancy and I hope you start to geel better soon!

  • I felt the same way with my second baby. Finding out you're pregnant isn't always a joy. In fact, my first words when the test came back positive were, "Oh, crap." Finances were definitely an issue. Both my husband and I had started new jobs, and then he was diagnosed with cancer! We'd just moved in to a horrible house and had to move when I was five months along. Stress was at an all-time high throughout.

    Throughout my pregnancy, I just did what I had to to make sure that things were as stable as can be by the time the baby came.We spread out purchases of baby gear over time. I had a garage sale and used the money we made to buy a crib. We also took everything one day at a time, and though I wasn't particularly excited about being preggers or having another baby, my husband was. It gave him hope in a really dark time, and I took some comfort in that.

    My advice is to relax and focus on the now. There's always a way to make things work, no matter who comes along. Take care of your needs physically and mentally, and make the decisions that are best for your family. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Best you can do is make good decisions today.

  • Congrats! I bet that in a couple of years you will be telling us that you just can't imagine life without your 3rd child. It is amazing how life has different plans for us than we have sometimes. I know many people who had surprise 3rd pregnancies and they are all doing fine. I know it has to be stressful with money and lack of space. All of those things tend to work themselves out. Just hang in there and it will get better.

  • I am totally in your shoes. We also had a surprise 3rd pregnancy.  My children are 10 and 7.  We were also settled (both in school) and now having to start over.  the beginning was rough.  I actually experienced anxiety/depression.  It is all in how you handle stress.  I am into my second trimester and doing great!!  We are excited and looking forward to baby now.  I really see it now as truly a blessing!! Everything works out.  Best of luck to you.

  • Babies come when they are meant to.  I was surprised to find I'm expecting number 4!! Mine are 11, 7, and almost 5!  wow.  I would never regret this little one, though, and neither will you.  just trust that God will provide, and you will be fine.  It never seems like the perfect time financially...but it always works out.  Good luck!