Telling My Parents

  • I recently found out I am pregnant I am 22 and feel like I am ready to take on this challenge yet my boyfriend does not feel the same...He gives me mixed feelings.  Before I got pregnant he always said he wanted me to get pregnant and now that it has happened he says he is scared he wont be able to do it and were not ready for this.  What am I supposed to do when I want to keep this baby and he doesn't? I feel like I am being selfish.  On top of it I still live at home and I am so so nervous to tell my parents.  My Mom and I argue but yet sometimes we get along well... and my Dad is very go with the flow, easy going.  All of my friends have had kids withing the years from graduating high school until now and my mom always tells me how happy she is that I haven't gotten pregnant and I'm going to college.  I will be finishing nursing school in June 2012 and my mom always has so many goals and things SHE wants me to do I just feel like I am going to disappoint her... Does anyone have any advice on this situation.  I want to be happy about this but all I can seem to do is cry.

  • Congrats on your pregnancy! I'm sorry you find yourself in such a tough situation. As far as your boyfriend goes, perhaps he is simply panicking a bit at the overwhelming thought of being responsible for another life. I think many people feel that, even those who have been ready for a long time for a child! I would not, however, feel guilty for wanting to keep your baby simply because he is now wavering about your previous decision to have children. Come what may - you need to make the best decision for yourself in this circumstance.

    As for your parents, it is absolutely a hard thing to tell them news this big. It sounds like you will be finishing school in a few short months. You will have a college degree all finished before your baby arrives, which will hopefully be a big relief to your mom. From talking to other moms, the agony of keeping the secret in is worse than the telling. No matter how she or your dad respond, at least the secret keeping is over and you can begin to deal with the future. Just find the right time when people aren't overly stressed or exhausted to let them know and be confident that you will be a wonderful mother. Hang in there!!

  • I am sorry that you are going through so much right now, but you can --and will--get through this. Your boyfriend is probably just scared and a little nervous that having a baby has become so "real". Don't let his panic affect your decision. IF you want to have this baby, then you absolutely should. Your mom will adjust and deal with your situation--probably better than you think. You are not 16, and are almost finished college. You can still have this baby and do so many things with your life. As a nurse, you will be able to schedule yourself to work nights, or weekends, or any combination of schedules to make raising a baby easier. Nursing is a great profession! Good luck and don't be afraid! This is a wonderful time in your life..even if it is unexpected!

  • I know first hand it can be rough telling such big news. My fiance and I lived with my mom when I became pregnant. I'm sure even if your parent's aren't especially happy about the news at first they will come around, after all they do love you and this baby will be a part of you too. As far as your boyfriend is concerned I agree with the other posters. My fiance and I talked about having a baby for a couple of years before we actually decided to have one. At first he was super excited about the news, then nervous, then excited when he got to find out what we were having and pick stuff out for her, then nervous once again when we neared her birth. Pregnancies and babies change the dynamic of your relationship and as with everything you will experience rough patches. Just breathe and take it one step at a time and try not to overwhelm yourself with problems. You can always post here and the other moms and I will do our best to give you some good round advice and comfort. I'm sure you'll find your mom much more receptive and supporting than you think once everything is out in the open. Oh and one more thing surely there will be some "nagging" from her on occasion. Remember that she's only trying to give you some advice from the perspective of someone who has been there and done that, so go easy on her. I know I wasn't as easy on my mom as I should have been, and now I see where she was coming from. Congrats on your little one and best of luck to you! Post back soon and let us know how you're doing.

  • I am so impressed that you are 22 and finishing nursing school this year!  That is HUGE!  You have yourself set up to be able to support both yourself and baby financially.  You are starting an "adult" phase of life by becoming a mom, h/e it sounds to me like you have been living as an adult for sometime.  I agree with the others that your boyfriend is most likely scared. Think back a bit to your developmental psychology class-boys mature later than girls at baseline.  If he is around your age then he is YOUNG and most likely scared.  I can understand why it would be hard to tell your parents.  I think that you have a lot of positive attributes that show that you are grown up and ready to have a baby.  I would expect that they are going to "react" and then they will calm down and see how much strength you have.  Be patient with them and give them a bit of time to react.  I also find in general that parents handle things better than we think they are going to.  Please feel free to come here and post for support ANYTIME!  I'd be happy to cheerlead as I think you are going to be a great mom.  Hang in there, Jess

  • How are things going? Did you tell your family yet?

  • My advice is to do what you feel best. If you want this baby then keep it. Hopefully your bf will come around if not then at least you did what felt right for you. I suggest you tell your parents asap because they will take it a lot better knowing upfront. Just because your pregnant doesn't mean you cant accomplish those goals and the things your mom see's in your future.  

  • Also curious as to how you are doing!  Drop us a note and let us know!

    -Jess