miserable

  • ok so im new to this. well i am 15 weeks pregnant and i can not sleep to save my life. i have tried using pillows and all sorts of different ways to lay but nothing works. my poor boyfriend thinks he is dying because i dont want to have sex. for me its just uncomfortable and he gets mad weve been fighting more than usual and im a complete wreck. just wondering if anyone else has any suggestions as to what to do. i feel like my world is slowly falling apart when i should be so happy. i almost feel like i just used this to vent and not ask any questions lol. i also had a doctor appointment today and the little ones heartbeat is a strong 150 bpm same as when i was 12 weeks Big Smile

  • Well Congrats on your little one. As you have probably noticed having a baby changes your life in so many ways and being pregnant is really tough and living with a pregnant woman can be equally as tough. There are so many hormones and emotions running through you that you feel like you're loosing control of yourself. Often pregnant women over exaggerate the situation and make it a bigger deal than it really is, it sucks from the point of view of the pregnant person to have your hormones blamed, but often that is the case. My advice to you would be to relax a little and don't sweat the small stuff. If you find yourself getting angry take a step back and breathe a little and give yourself time to assess the situation. I know that many times i blew up in the heat of the moment and later; after i had time to cool down i realized that there was really no reason to be upset in the first place and was left feeling like an idiot. As far as sex is concerned i had the same issue, i would start having really bad contractions and then the baby would kick me really hard. Your boyfriend is going to have to understand that being pregnant is no picnic. Have you tried talking to him to make him understand just how badly it hurts... I had to explain to my fiance that it feels like there is a spoon digging out my guts and a baby kicking on top of that. He finally understood when he saw me unable to move because i was in so much pain. I hope it doesn't come to that for you. I won't lie, it could be a long road as far as that department is concerned. In all honesty sex didn't become comfortable again until my daughter reached about 10 weeks old.... Now to address the sleep issue. Can you not sleep because you're in pain, sick, uncomfortable, restless, heartburn... ect? I was mostly uncomfortable and a pillow between my legs really helped or laying elevated helped take the pressure off as well, it also helps with heartburn. If you continue to have trouble sleeping maybe you could talk yo your doctor about possible solutions.... On a lighter note are you hoping for a boy or a girl? have you been thinking of names at all? This is a great place to come if you're needing a friend or just someone who understands what you're going through. Everyone here is really nice and generally everyone will give out good advice if they can... I really hope you can find some time to relax. Make some time to do something for yourself at least once a week. It really will help you cope with all of the changes you're going through. other than that just take it one step at a time. Don't worry about all of the stuff a few months down the road just one day, week, or month at a time. Before you know it you're going to be holding the most amazing gift you're ever going to receive. Let us know how you're doing and we'll help however we can... and once again welcome to the site and congrats on your pregnancy.

  • What it is that is making you uncomfortable? 

    I am 27 wks pregnant (this is my second child) and I have horrible indigestion at night, especially if I eat too close to going to bed.  I have to keep Tums on my nightstand!  Do you have indigestion?  Are you finding you can't get settled?  Not sure if you're exercising but maybe relieving some excess energy may help you sleep better.  Are you awake constantly thinking about things?  Trying to calm and settle your mind before sleeping.  Just clear your head. 

    As for your boyfriend, he has to understand you're in a sensitive time in life right now and he may just have to deal with it.  Or, usually your libido picks up in the second trimester.  I know you're in the beginning of it but maybe in  a few weeks you'll feel more in the mood. 

    Glad to hear your baby is doing well!  I hope my suggestions can give you some relief!

  • Oh, Congratulations Mommy2be... It seems to be that your little ones is growing appropiately. Being tired during pregnancy is normal, back pain, indifference with your partner, etc. I used to be like that too. Is this your first baby? Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that sometimes you need your own space, tell him that you need him to understand your situation. If he wants you to copperate ask him for a massage specialy on your lower back, maybe that could help to have some minutes of relief. I recomend you to sleep on your left side, it the best position to sleep during pregnancy, put a pilow between your legs and one on your back, that may give you more support. good luck!!

  • i went to the doctor today because my depression is getting way worse and i have to go see one of the mental health doctors. ugh. makes me really feel like a nut case now. i have tried using thre pillows and things like that but im just resless with a racing mind constantly. i cant just sit and relax cause there is just so much racing through my head. i feel stupid for having to go to mental health places for help though. and my doctor made a good point today... he asked me what i would do is me and babys dad split up because i cant get a grip. he didnt say it like that lol. honestly thats not the life i want for my child but i dont want a fighting mommy and daddy for my child either. this is my first baby and i am hoping to have a boy. no names figured out yet. i want to wait until we know what we are having first before thinking of names

  • Don't feel bad for needing to see someone for your emotions - I'm really proud of you for recognizing that you need some help and taking the steps to get it. Depression and mental/emotional struggles are incredibly common, but people don't really like to talk about it because they feel it's shameful for some reason. You are doing a good thing by being open and honest about it - perhaps you will even help someone else to deal with their own depression. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you work on things. Hang in there!!

  • mommy2bedee-

    I am sending you a gentle hug across the wireless airwaves.  It sounds like things are pretty rough.  I want to start by telling you how impressed and proud I am of you for reaching out and getting the help that you need.  Having racing thoughts and feeling depressed are symptoms that your body is a bit off balance, no different than if you have asthma the symptoms that you have are coughing and wheezing.  The great thing is that there is great treatment for depression and anxiety and you have taken the first step toward getting yourself feeling better.

    This says miles about what a great mom you are going to be!  You are already teaching tht little one how important it is to take care of yourself. :)  I agree with your wholeheartedly that having mom and dad fighting is not good for a child.  Children sense things and know much more about what is going on that we think they do.

    I hope that you will keep us posted and come here anytime that you need some support.  I'm cheering for you!

    -jess

  • i have been fairly good the past few days. with the exception of saturday night. i refuse to speak to the other halfs sister in law just to make things clear shes a drama queen. my bf and i ended up fighting about it and it took me a long time to make him realize why i dont want to be around her. he finally realized why and we both calmed down. now the next step is to get everything spit out without yelling. im so tired of yelling. i was supposed to take papers to the mental health place today but i forgot so i guess i got to try to remember tomorrow. i just want a healthy happy baby and relationship. im holding on by a thread. i just want whats best afor my child. i know its still growing inside me but it can hear and feel what im feeling. weird thing thats been happening i crave spicy foods. it drives me crazy thats like all i want anymore. and its mainly taco bell i want nothing other than taco bell. ugh. how do i fight these cravings

  • Funny you mention spicy food.. for the longest time all i could keep down was tacos and pizza. it calmed down around 20 weeks or so. i didn't really have any cravings after that... aside from candy. i craved candy from day 1.. and as soon as my daughter was born i had absolutely no care for it. kinda strange... Anyway i'm glad you  have been able to seek some help and that your boyfriend seems to be coming around. I hope it continues to get better.

  • What you're doing for your mental health is extremely important.  It's great that you're taking the steps you are to speak to a professional.  I agree with one of the other moms...it shows how good of a mom you're going to be because it speaks worlds about the type of person you are.  You're open to reality and not just trying to suppress it like so many other moms do.  Having anxiety and depression is very common in pregnancy, and after pregnancy, so you're not alone.  Just tell your bf that you need his support in this fragile time in your life. 

     

    As for cravings...just give in to them!  I don't think there is much you can do about them.  Just don't over-do it.  I'm kind of like the other mom who said she's craving candy...I'm definitely eating more junk than I usually allow myself to eat but if I don't give in to it, my craving gets worse than if I just give in to it because I can usually stop myself after just a little of whatever it is I'm craving.

     

    Good luck!

  • Mommy2be Congrats on your baby!!  I'm also new to this, and expecting...7 weeks to go!!!  I had  a lot of trouble sleeping once I first started showing because I'm a belly sleeper!  I had  A  LOT of trouble adjusting to a new sleeping position.  I did get a body pillow, it seems to help me.  Also, sleeping on my left side is more comfortable them my right.  Sometimes the couch had been more comfortable for me.  I can lay on my side and prop myself up against the back of the couch. 

    Don't feel stupid about the emotions you are having!  Being Pregnant changes every part of you!  I still have times I think my husband is going to leave me and I'm going to have to raise our baby alone. There isn't anything he is doing to make me think this, it's me being an emotional women.  Get the help!!  Doesn't make you any less of a women, if you need to talk to someone you need to talk to someone.  If it helps you feel better it's totally worth it!!

    As for the sex thing, I can't help you there!  I have the sex drive of a teenage boy.  I would still be having sex if it felt good to me at this point!!! 

  • I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing.  It sounds like things are still rough.  Try to take one day at a time, sometimes it's one hour at a time. Keep us posted and post if you need support.  We are here for you!  

    -Jess