first baby

  • this is my first child and i am very nervous. i have a lot of help from my family and finace but my family live three hours away so its just me and my finace but at times being up here i feel so alone because i have only been here two months and really have no friends to hang out with even though he trys its not the same i need girl time. is there anyway for me to get past this feeling?

  • Im beginning to feel the same way only my family is close. Alone isnt even the word sometimes I just feel like its me and my baby (which it is) . I dont mind my space but after being a sort of party girl now a mother is a bit of a change. For me to enjoy myself now I work and interact with my fellow employees. Also activities such as going to the park , cooking , talking on the phone, looking through the web at baby stuff has been keeping my time . Now my boyfriend is the one calling me trying to figure out what i am doing because Im not bugging him as much . Try to stay busy no matter what thats my advice =)

  • First of all congratulations on your pregnancy. It is natural to want to have friends and family nearby to share it with. During this time, try your best to reach out and make new friends in your area. Consider joining a prenatal group or a new mothers group. There are plenty around...if you are uncertain where to look consider ask your doctor for help. Consider also taking a community class or volunteering somewhere in order to meet people who have similar interests. If you like cooking, take a small cooking class...etc.. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

     

  • Lyssa-

    Congrats on your first child.  Is the baby already born?  Did or are you having a girl or boy?  I can certainly understand your feeling lonely.  :(  You can come here anytime you are needing support.  We are always happy to listen and offer support and guidance if needed.  One thought that I have is to plan one thing out of the house each day.  It doesn't have to be anything special, but planning a trip to the store, window shopping at the mall, walking in the park or even reading in a coffee shop can help with being lonely.  I also would encourage you to reach out to your friends that are a few hours away.  Is there anyway you could plan a visit every week where one week they come to visit you, you visit them the next-or even meet somewhere 1/2 way in between.

    I hope the suggestions help a bit.  Keep us posted on how you are doing!

    Hugs,

    Jess

  • i havent been feeling like this until two weeks ago and it just like hit me fast.  I work full time but at my job its so hard to talk to anyone or make friends because i am so busy we all dont really get to talk to each other. I was the same way i was a party girl and than we just stop going out and really i had no problem with that but i think its hard for him. i think i might take on a preject and rearrange my apartment that might help me

  • I always try to like go to the movies with some on the employees i work with but they all want to go to the bars and party but i just dont like to do that anymore if anything i like to go dancing. its just hard cause no one wants to hanging out with a pregnant girl. i never knew they had classes i am really going to look into that cause that really might helo me alot. :)

  • thank you and no i am 13 weeks today and i will find out what i am having august 28 :) i try to always go and visit my family but its just hard driving three hours all the time. i am not a big fan of driving lol. i am starting to feel better about being lonely cause he has been trying to take me to do things or he will bring movies home but i think its just i miss seeing my family even thought i talk to my mom everyday it just makes it hard. but i am glad i found this website that way i am able to talk to other people about it, it really helps me.

  • Glad you found some help here! Some of the best friends you will make after you have your child are other mothers who find themselves in the same boat as you - having children is a blessing and one of the most wonderful experiences of your life but you often need to be able to share/discuss your experiences with other moms. Talk to the people at the hospital where you deliver about mommy support groups. Lots of churches have good mommy support groups as well or your local community center. Hang in there - I know how hard it is when you go to a new place and you don't really know anyone but nothing bonds people like having children. Good luck! 

  • I know how you feel, this is our first baby as well and all of my family in 4 hours away. Im 28 weeks pregnant and I talk to my mom eveyday, we send each other pictures and it helps a bit and my little sister is always taking pictures and sending them to me. I promise it will feel better soon. My husband and I go on dates so I can get out of the house and we are planning a trip to go visit my mom and she is throwing a baby shower for me.

  • I was away from home - 3000 miles away - with my first. I remember how difficult it was at times. Skype, text messages, and phone calls are all great coping mechanisms. :-) Hang in there - I'm pregnant with my second and our circumstances have changed. I now live 5 minutes away from my family! You never know what will happen. :-)

  • Lyssa-

    It sounds like you have tried a lot of my suggestions.  It also sounds like you are at a bit of a turning point in your life.  You are entering an age where, you are right bars and drinking, don't quite work.  It's hard to be "older" than some of your friends that are the same age.  I think that once your baby is born though perhaps you can find a play group so you can meet other women in the same stage of life that you are.  I have some friends that are dealing with the same transition and as their babies grow they make more friends through pre-school, sunday school, sports, art camps that their kiddos are at.  Hang in there and come here as much as you want to.  We are always here to support you!

    -Jess :)