19, pregnant, and scared...

  • Hi i'm a new mom my baby will be here in may 15 i'm happy and shocked tothe point that i can't think straight or take the time to enjoy the moment its crazy but i'm haveing problems with my baby father one minute he want's to be here and the next thing i know he's taking about he not the father but i want to now if i told him the right thing i told him if the don't want to be with me or that he don't to do nothing he don't want to do cus i dont have time to be stressing over what he wnt to do i.m fine by myself but i want my child's father to be there ehat should i do

     

  • Just wanted to see how things were going? How did your ultrasound apt go?

  • I was in your same boat 2 years ago but I was 16. At 17 i had her and when i was 18 i found out i was pregnant again and 2 moths after turning 19 i was a single mother of 2. My family were not thrilled but are very supportive and love me and my kids unconditionally. My boyfriend left when i was 5 moths pregnant and did not even show up to the hospital when he was born. But over all i would not give or trade anything in this world for my kids. They are the reason i wake up every morning and the last thought i have before i goto sleep. Im sure your family will love you and support you the same way mine did and only will want the best for you and your baby. As for the adoption thing i am very grateful that some girls and women consider that option and that it is avalible to us but for some like us it just isnt the right thing. And dont be ashamed about posting to people you dont know sometimes is easier to get advice or talk to people we dont know. And for the heart burn tums will be your best friend Wink

  • Just wanted to touch base with all of you.

    First thank you all so much for your support. I had my ultrasound this morning and found out that I am having a baby girl! So very excited about this. I have told my friends and family and they are all very supportive. 

    It's not always the easiest thing to do, but I did it and it's so much better. Things are starting to look up and get better and I no longer feel scared, just very excited! 

  • Congratulations! So happy that you are having a beautiful little girl! Little girls are soo much fun. I am also thrilled that you told your family and that things are starting to look up. It is scary at first, but you can do it! Congrats again!

  • I am 27, married and scared!  You can do it.  You already love that little baby inside of you.  I do not know where you live but I am sure you can find the rescouses that you need to help raise your baby,  

  • very happy for you and to see that you have such great support around you!!! that is best! guys will come and go. I know you want her father in her life (much congrats on the girl, im just getting started 4 weeks and 2 days) but remember that if he decides not to its not your fault and theres nothing you can do to make him. Just remember that your daughter is most important and you guys have such a bright future ahead :) keep us posted. take care love...

  • I am sorry to hear that you are going through all of that with your baby's father. I wish that some people could grow up and realize the responsibility that they have in front of them, however that is not always the case.

    You are right on one thing, you don't need that stress. And honestly if he is that much of a flake you don't need him either. I never knew my father growing up and my mother never told me about him. That wasn't the right thing to do.

    If he decides to not be in your baby's life that it is such a loss for him. What I would do for your baby though is put together a box of all the good things about the father and share that box with your little one. Your child deserves to know all about his or her father and you shouldn't keep it from them.

    Maybe one day the father will decide to be in your baby's life but it's soley up to him. You can't do anything about his decision. I once heard that I woman becomes a mother when she finds out she is pregnant and a man becomes a father when he see's and holds his baby. I think you might fall into that catagorie, however just hold in there and fall back on your friends and family for their love and support.

    I learned one thing really fast on here, that the people who reply to your post really do care. And you have a great support system here as well.

    Please let me and others know how things are going. And I wish you all the luck I can give.

  • I just wanted to say how much I apriciate all of your feed back and support. If anything has really gotten me through some of this it is all the response I have gotten.

    I am so thankful to all of you who have helped and for those of you who have decided to add your own stories. It eases my mind knowing that I am not the only one having problems. Not that I ever really thought that, but it reasures me when I see others speak of their own problems.

    I will keep you all updated on everything I am going through.

    I also wanted to let you all know that we have picked a name for our little girl! We are going to name her Aurora Wenzday. (first and middle) She has been so active lately and it just rolling around and stretching out. My boyfriend wishes that he could feel her but I told him he has to wait a little longer.

    Thank you all again for all your support and I will keep you all updated to let you know what is going on.

  • Thank you so much for sharing your story with me (and others). It does a world of help that you support me and to know that you have such a great support system. I am also happy to hear that you love your children. I'm sorry that their father is not in their lives, and it is such a loss for him.

    As for the heart burn I haven't had it for a long time. And when it does come occasionally I chew on my tums or have a nice cold glass of milk.

    I wish you and your two kids the best of luck. And thank you for your support.

  • That's a beautiful name! Congratulations again and I am so happy that we were able to give you support when you needed it!

  • I just wanted to give you all a quick update.

    I am now almost 24 weeks along. And I have found a great midwife center where I will be doing a water birth and I am so excited to be able to go in this direction. 

    My mom and I have also connected so much more since I have told her. We talk everyday and she is already planning my daughter's future for me. haha She can't stop buying baby stuff and I am just so thankful that I get to be this much closer to her. She has also warmed up to my now fiance.

    Things are looking up and I couldn't be more happier.

    Thank you all for your support.

  • So great to hear Madi! Becoming closer to your mother because of your soon to be born little girl is great to hear! She is already making your life better!

  • Madi - I am literally smiling and just so happy to get that update. You are doing so well, it seems, and things are coming together for the birth of your baby - such a momentous day in your life. Things will be hard sometimes and life as a mommy has its fair share of tears and frustrations but your little girl will be the greatest joy you will know. You are going to be a great mom - so glad for you and your fiance. :-) 

  • glad to hear all the good news! its a blessing that your support has become strong esp at this time in your pregnancy! Glad to hear that this forum has been a great place for you! Wishing you nothing but lots of love and happiness!