Young and Pregnant

  • I had my first child 3 months ago and I was nervous and scared too.  The birthing and breastfeeding classes made me feel a WHOLE lot better about knowing what to expect.  We also got to go over the the labor and delivery wing of the hospital and check out a room.  I felt much much better because of the classes.

  • Congratulations MamaBear19!!!! I am just so excited for you on your pregnancy and your engagement.  I haven’t been in a similar situation at your age so I’m sorry I can’t help much with advice, but I am just so excited for you when you posted about your engagement!!!  The only thing I can say, is, that we briefly considered eloping when my husband proposed (as wedding planning seemed overwhelming esp on a tight budget) – but, in the end we did have a smallish wedding (mainly just family) and now I’m really glad I did.  It can be a chance for both sides of the family to get a better chance to meet up and be further supportive of you two as a couple, which is what I found when we did it.  It sounds like you are more keen on the family wedding.  What does your fiance think??  Because if he also wants a family wedding, I am sure you two will find a way to make it happen.   If on the other hand he prefers to elope, that is something you two would have to work out between the two of you as to which way to go.  

    Anyhow I know you are seeing all of what is happening as stress but I just am so excited for both of you on all your news!!!!  I am thinking of you.  Good luck with everything and keep us updated.

  • Definitely check out any classes you can take in your area. They're a good way to get an idea of what to expect, at least when you walk through the maternity ward doors. Most hospitals also let you take a tour of their facilities and ask as many questions as you need to.

    As for weddings, my first wedding was very simple because we couldn't afford anything. We were married by the mayor, had two witnesses, and then all went out for dinner after. I don't think it was more than $200 total. But...we ended up separated two years later and divorced a year after that. My older daughter has no memory of me and her father living together because we split when she was only 10 months old.

    My two cents on getting married at 19 (you can take it or leave it) is that it's a gamble, so really think about whether or not this is the right decision for you for the rest of your life. Yes, marriage in general is a gamble, but it's more so when you're young because you still have so much more growing and maturing to do. When you're 25 and look back at the person you are today, you'll see a huge difference that you can't even conceive of right now. It's something you have to experience to understand.

    What I do know is that even if everyone in the world told me that getting married at 19 was not a good idea, I still wouldn't have listened. But I hope you can take something away from my experience.  I wasn't pregnant at the time, but I married my first husband when I was 19 because we were in love and this was the next step we were supposed to take with our relationship. I knew there were some basic issues in our relationship and figured we could work them out eventually.  We were in love and that's all you need, right?

    I know a lot better 10 years later. And though my first marriage ended badly, in the end, it was a necessary step I needed to take in my life to grow up and be the mom my daughter needed.  What I've learned is that some issues don't go away with time, and having a baby adds a lot of stress to even the best relationship.

    So, what's my point? I guess it's to be a little selfish right now and think about what's best for your and your child's future before making any decisions. If it's forming a family with your boyfriend, then go for it. If not, then that's okay, too. And I would give this advice to my two girls, as well. The decision is yours and yours alone, and I think I speak for everyone here in saying that no matter what you choose, we're here to support you.  Just remember that you have choices and a family that sounds like they will support you as well.

    Keep us posted!

     

  • Welcome to the boards!  I'm 24 and have a 4 year old daughter.  I'm scheduled for a c-section to have our son in 5 days!

    Congrats on your pregnancy!  It's pretty much a given that you're going to be exhausted if you're pregnant and working.  I work in an automotive factory (but I just started my leave today) and I have been so tired!  The best way to cope with it is to delegate tasks to your boyfriend and get him to follow through and nap as much as possible, especially on your days off.

    Also, congrats on the engagement!  My fiance also proposed after finding out that we were expecting and he originally wanted to get married before the baby came.  I managed to convince him that it would be much smarter for us to wait.  In my opinion preparing for the baby is costly, stressful, and time-consuming enough without trying to plan a wedding too.  If you want to have a wedding and can't afford to do it right now, why can't you wait until later on?  Only you know what the right choice is for you.  We decided to wait until next year, that way we can save up money, make real plans for it, and be settled in as a family first.

    Good luck with everything!  Hope some of this helps youSmile

  • I totally agree with the fact that I'm 19 and very young to be getting married, and yes I want my baby to have a proper family but the most important thing is that within the 11 months that me and my boyfriend have known each other we have been through alot more then most couples I know that have been together for years...I was in a very bad place when I met him and he completly changed my life and in my eyes, saved my life...no man could ever give me what my fiancee has given to me...I'm not sure how I feel about waiting till after the baby is born to get married, mostly because my family feels so strongly that we get married before...but I'm actually starting to lean that way because of money and us just not having enough right now...I just want my baby to have what I didnt and thats a complete family with both a mom and dad...plus I'd like for my last name to be the same as the baby and my fiancee on the birth certificate...but GOOD LUCK Jnifischer50 on your c section!!!!! 

  • Good Luck!! Im in the same boat you are. Im 18 years old but ill be 19 when the baby is born. Im so nervous and scared but I also have full support. Congrats and Good luck.
  • Hey, Im new to the boards here and I am also 19 years old :) I got pregnant about 2 months after i turned 18 right after i graduated and let me tell you! That was a fun ride! lol. His father and I had been together for a little over a month when we found out we were expecting, but he was totally supportive of it. Moved to Orlando with me, told my parents, who made us move out of their house and get our own place. Corey lost his job, got layed off, so I worked over 40 hours a week until I was 37 weeks pregnant when i finally quit working. I came home everyday with feet as big as watermelons!!! Gained almost 60lbs with him!! lol Im not gonna tell you its a walk in the park, but its an interesting experience, and even though its so great to have them finally here, you completely miss being pregnant! lol. But,  I had my little boy at 38 weeks and 3 days, almost ALL the way to the end there. 24 hours of labor, 2 epidurals later, i got my 8lb 3oz gorgeous little boy :) && i wouldnt trade it for the world! Hes the best thing ever, and i know you will feel the same way. Just keep going after what you want! Im still a full time student working a full time job and taking care of my son, but i dont ever regret it. Your going to do AMAZING! Youll see :)

  • Hello, Hang in there its har at first but it just gets better with time. I was 16 when i had my first baby not proud of it, but I also wouldnt change it for the world. I have 4 kids now and loving every min of it.

  • I just joined this site not even 10 minutes ago and am so glad that I did! I saw the link to this thread on the community homepage and I can't believe how much I can relate to you, MamaBear19! I'm 19 years old and recently found out I am due on February 5, 2010. My boyfriend and I live in southern Massachusetts where I'm currently working full time. I was going to college and hope to go for fall semester, but I couldn't handle that in spring with a newborn. My boyfriend and I recently talked about getting married. I guess we're technically engaged, but i still hope he gets down on one knee one of these days. I definitely want a wedding...even just a small one...but financially it's pretty tough right now. It makes me so relieved to know that other people are staying strong through all of this...and hopefully I can too.

  • I was 21 when I had my first baby so I have to say you are not to young. I have to say that you can end up haveing the same feelings and thoughts even if you are haveing your 1st or 3rd baby. I am due january 12th. Our babies will be close i age.

    Congrates on the engagment . I was 19 when I got married. I would sayhave the small wedding. Me and my husband just went to the courthouse and got married and I now wish that we would have had a small wedding at least. On the other hand you are going to need al themoney you can get for the baby so eloping can be fun. You can always renew your vows later on and have a wedding then.

    s makinen

  • I'M GETTING MARRIED AUGUST 11!!! im sooo excited but sooo nervous! and wow can this baby move and kick...i've never felt so fat in my life, im normally 90 pounds of smallness and i just keept gaining and getting wider!

  • Congratulations on the proposal. This must be a stressful but exciting time for you. I had a small wedding when I got married a couple of years ago. I would suggest that the small wedding is well worth the time and effort. Just keep it small, and cook most of the food yourself and have it at a relatives house is possible. That was how we were able to keep the cost down.  You can always have the big wedding of your dreams down the line when the time is right.

    Good luck with everything.

  • im 24 and this is my first. Congrats btw! Your so lucky that you have full support. :) I do sorta as well. Babys father is not in the picture. I wrok part time and even when I do that (it might evenm be full time with the 2 jobs) I get so tired. The next day all I want to do is sleep and there is so much to do around the house. lol. I hope that your getting all the advice you need :) Have fun!

    kristen