Due in less than 1 month!! Super nervous!!! Any advice??

  • I am due February 5th with my first child and I have been getting super nervous as my due date gets closer, its all I can think about right now! I just want to be able to know that everything is going to be okay so I can stop worrying!!  

    I'm really afraid of tearing or having to have an episiotomy! My fiancé has started doing the perineal massage for me and I have been doing kegels but I'm still like freaking out about this!

  • The best thing you can do is try to do things that will take your mind off of delivery day. Go shopping with some family or friends, lunches out, movies, books.. there are a hundred things that you can be doing that will require your mind to be on a different subject. You must know that it is completely normal to worry about delivery, especially for first time moms. It is scary not knowing what you're getting into, but you need to trust that your doctor and the team at the hospital are going to take good care of you and try to make things as easy for you as possible. they deliver babies every day and know what they are doing. That being said; Do you have a birth plan yet? are you going to try and have a natural delivery or epidural or maybe you have other plans? Whatever you have decided know that your plan doesn't have to be set in stone and you have the right to change them if you want to or feel you need to. There are several threads on this site that focus on having a natural delivery and i will tell you that if you take the time to read them they may give you some comfort if that's the route you plan to go. If you plan on having an epidural then it's going to be a breeze. I was so numb i couldn't lift my legs for two hours after delivery. The epidural was nice for a couple of reasons. the first being it is kept the atmosphere in my room calm before and during delivery. it allowed me to relax and conserve energy for pushing. and last but not least it allowed me to focus on my doctor and getting the baby out instead of the pain or "ring of fire" as i have heard it referred to. I will tell you that i did start to tear and had to have an episiotomy. It was a stage 2 which my doctor said is fairly normal for a first time mom. I didn't feel a thing because of my epidural so i can't tell you what it's like if you plan of having a natural birth. And lastly the recovery... The nurses who cared for us after delivery had made these diaper ice packs which were amazing. So basically when you deliver they will give you what my best friend refers to as "giant pads of death" and on top of them they layered the ice pack diaper with these witch-hazel pads and then they give you this topical numbing spray which also is a lifesaver (and available over the counter by the way). together they really helped with the first couple days of recovery. I really hope some of this info either puts you at ease a little or directs you to somewhere that can help you.

  • ii was also afraid to have my child, i was super nervous about everything. but when it came down to the actual day everything was calm. all of the doctors and nurses have soo much experience and they know exactly what to do.  dont be worried about delivery...my daughter was born 10 days late and i had to be induced..just go about your normal daily activites and when the time comes, it comes. i know its very hard to wait and see your little bundle of joy, but trust me the wait is well worth it.

  • HELLO JessieBeee!

    I know you are worried, but just remember that your baby has been protected so very well inside of you that he/she is just in an ideal place right now.  You have been taking care of yourself, eating the right foods, getting rest, exercising, taking long walks and preparing for baby.  You have done all of the right things, so now it's time to harvest what you have so much longed for....Your son/daughter!!!

    When you get anxious and nervous, just start visualizing your baby, imagining what she/he looks like.  Start from his/her face:  check out those big eyes and the cute nose, look at those cheeks and what about that chin, are there dimples?  look at the hair, is it long or curly or brown or black, oh my look at those ears!  Travel your whole baby's body, looking at all of it as "PERFECT" !  Continue all the way down to his/her toes, counting each perfect one, then move on to her heel and see how well rounded it is, wonder what size shoe he/she will wear one day, and see how strong it is, how tall will  she/he be??   Just imagine how soft the skin and just go all through out his/her body, inspecting all of it and seeing that it is all perfect, strong, and safe.  Sing to you baby, rock him/her as you walk, play with your baby by gently tapping your belly when you feel him/her moving.  Tell him/her how much you are looking forward to seeing him/her. ....and you know what?  Before you know it, you will be so excited and all the worry will dissipate and you will be left with an awe inspiring feeling that you have actually seen and felt your baby with this exercise.  You may want to put on some soft music, maybe classical, to accompany you during your travels!!

    Labor is well worth the effort, for you will have a beautifully made little person who will love you right back and need you so very much!  For that little boy/girl, you will be the most important person in the world, you will be his/her lifeline and his/her inspiration.  Because of you, he/she will have life and he/she will reward you with indescribable joy and happiness and a lifetime of memories!  Make them count, all of them, starting with today...remember that you are creating and you can create for yourself a state of peace and assurance that you too can have your baby and all will be well!

    Enjoy your pregnancy, all of its stages are wondrous an unique, nothing else will ever be so miraculous and so beautiful as to see the life of your child come to this world...behold the rewards that (life) child-bearing brings, it brings the true meaning of LOVE in a little new born child, you call "MY BABY"

    CONGRATULATIONS!  You are indeed blessed and fortunate to bear the gift of life !  



  • JessieBeee-your little one will be here soon - so exciting! It can seem so overwhelming to face such a momentous event in your life. It's hard because labor and delivery is an unknown - something you can't really know about until you've gone through it. The good news is that your body really takes over for you and does the work of labor. I was amazed at how nature really takes over! The anxiety over tearing or having an episiotomy is something you should talk over with your OB. They can avoid an episiotomy hopefully if they know your wishes and often they can have you push the baby out rather slowly while they stretch your perineum with some massage. I hope you are able to avoid tearing but just know that if it does happen, you often are so overwhelmed with the child you just gave birth to that it isn't as bad as it might seem. Good luck! 

  • First of all, I want to thank my wife and every Mom out there for the physical and emotional distress you go through to deliver the greatest gifts your family will ever receive! What always eases my mind when contemplating the stress of child birth is that we instinctively know what to do. Even if no docs or nurses were there, and even if you had no medical knowledge or drugs, you would probably be able to deliver your baby in a field with nobody around successfully. That being said, you also have the support and expertise of medical professionals with great amounts of skill and experience and family who would do anything/everything for you. Consider the worry you feel now as a preview of what you will experience as a mom... constant worry! Congratulations on your addition and best of luck with everything over the next couple of weeks.

  • JessieBeee-

    You are getting close to your delivery date and that is really exciting!  Congrats!  I think that you have gotten some really good advice from others on the board.  What I want to offer is that it might help to think about the fact that it's not going to make things better by worrying.  I am a worrier myself and I can often stop that dialog in my head by talking to myself about how it's not going to help me to worry.  Then I often try to find something to distract myself with.  A good book, movie, going for a walk-all things that help me get out of my worrying head a bit.  The other thing is that you can come here 24 hours a day and start a post asking for some support-or even just vent.  We are always here to support you and help with those anxieties.  

    I'm so excited for you to meet your little one, and so perhaps focusing on how special it will be to hold that little one in your arms.  

    Keep us posted!