Overwhelmed - 1st child - New Here

  • Oh boy, I don't even know where to begin!


    For starters, I am 30 y/o with my 1st child. At the time of this post, I am 13w6d. I had my first prenatal appointment on Jan. 7th where the doctor put me at exactly 11 weeks. I had seen my primary doctor on Dec. 3rd to get my prenatal vitamins and I was estimated around 3 weeks so when I was told 11 weeks, I was a bit shocked because I was thinking I was only about 8 weeks! My husband and I were able to hear the hearbeat and the look on his face was priceless! XD I didn't know what to think. My feelings about this seem to be a bit.........."off". I've NEVER been around babies and was never one to "awww" at other girls showing their baby pictures. I just didn't care and didn't want to see.


    Now that I am preggo, I don't know what to think or feel. I am a self-proclaimed aspie at this time (want to see a doctor to find out for sure) so I am guessing that is why my "empathy level" is very low. My husband is excited, but at the same time he is holding back because his sister had a previous pregnancy and was nearing full term then lost it due to spina bifida and that worries him because he doesn't want to get his hopes up.


    Right now, I have been doing research to find out what to do, things I will and doing all sorts of reading and am totally overwhelmed! I fear I am gonna crack and freak out. I was already diagnosed with depression when I was 18 and had to be hospitalized for it, so because of that, my husband is worried about that aspect too.


    Besides being worried about proper care for a baby, the PAIN worries me the most. I have a VERY low tolerance to pain and I am experiencing pelvic/abdominal pain and it is very uncomfortable and I can't even take this pain I am feeling. It's not too severe to where it's a concern to my doctor, but it makes me want to curl up into a ball and not move. If I can't take what I am feeling now at nearly 14 weeks, I am VERY worried about what it's going to be like when I am further along. D:


    Oh, and I also had an ultrasound done already on Jan. 21st and so far, everything looked fine, both arms and legs were accounted for. XD Still can't tell if it's a boy or a girl yet, but I already have the perfect name if it's a girl and I am dead set on this name although my husband is NOT crazy about it and told me "no". lol

  • how many weeks were you when u did ur sonogram on the 21st??? i have mine in two weeks i pray we can find out the sex lol cause the suspense is driving me crazy lolTongue Tied

  • VideoGameMom- Welcome! Congrats on your first little one. :-) Believe it or not, you are incredibly normal! I know quite a few people who are not really sure how they feel about their pregnancies and aren't sure if their emotions will ever get to the place of excitement and joy. Right now, your pregnancy is very abstract...probably not showing very much and can't feel the baby kick. You don't know the sex, etc. It can feel really hard to connect to this baby. I, myself, felt like it was all very surreal until my little boy was a few days old! I can't imagine life without him now, though. Hang in there - your feelings will develop and things will seem more real as you feel the baby moving, etc. 

    As for your fear and anxiety, there is SO MUCH information out there on the internet. You really can cripple yourself with all the "what ifs" and possible complications. I'd focus on just reading the information your OB gives you and staying healthy. Take your vitamins, eat well, continue to walk and stay active, and try to get some good sleep. Easier said than done sometimes. ;-) You can't do anything about potential complications except take care of yourself now and trust that your doctor can help you if need be. I have to say that I experienced lots of cramping in the first trimester because your ligaments are stretching and getting ready for baby to grow. You often feel somewhat better in the second trimester. 

    Anyway - VERY long note but just know you aren't alone and I'm glad you found us here! Hopefully this board can be a source of support for you. Hugs!

  • I was exactly 13 weeks when I had my ultrasound done. As I stated, we still don't know the gender yet. I won't know for at least another month or so. The ultrasound tech told me we should be able to find out when I am around 18 weeks though. I actually got a call from ym doctor today and they want to go ahead and get the next ultrasound scheduled for when I am around 20 weeks. I guess they want to schedule it now to make sure that there will be an opening available for me to get it done.

  • Let me be the next to welcome you to strongmoms, i think you will find the website a great place to come for support and to get questions answered.  I am so glad to hear that you have a supportive medical team.  It sounds like they are doing everything they can to help and support you as well.  That is great.  :)  I love what PedsNurseJulie shared with you, and want to stand behind her in supporting you.  Please keep in touch and let us know how things are going.


  • I had a hard time getting my ultrasound scheduled since my doctor was so booked and popular. Glad they are getting you scheduled nice and early. It's such an exciting day! 

  • Well, I will now be having an ultrasound done of friday, Feb. 1st. After the doctor got the results back from my first ultrasound, they noticed something that appeared to be wrong. Apparently, my cervical length looks insufficient. They want me to get checked out again to determine if I will need to get a consultation or not, whatever that means.


    I did some searching on the internet about having a short cervical length and from what I understand, it can increase the chance of preterm labor. Great. :( I told my husband about it and now he seems more worried than ever. He was very strict with me when we talked about it and he does not want me to do any crazy lifting or moving of furniture or anything that seems to be too much. I've always been known to be a hard worker and when I see something that needs to be done, I'll be all over it! But for now, I just gotta wait and see what the results are from this ultrasound.

  • UPDATE!!


    For starters, my ultrasound I had on Feb. 1st to check my cervical length went okay. Nothing is wrong and everything looks as it should. My husband was releived by this.


    Secondly, I had my 2nd doctor appointment on Feb. 7th and it was the 3rd time they weighed me....I STILL have NOT gained a single pound! Dec. 3rd, Jan. 7th and my recent visit ALL said that I weighed exactly 118. I thought for sure I would have gained a little weight by now. I'm not too stressed about that, but I am surprised. Also I did have blood work done before this last appointment and everything came back negative so that was good. The last ultrasound I had, the baby's heartbeat was 155, faster than what it was for my first ultrasound which was 141. Got to hear the heartbeat again at my recent appointment and it took the doctor a minute to find. He finally located it about 2 inches above my pelvic bone. He then asked me: "See how low this is?" I looked at him with a slight concern and said "Yes". He then proceeded to tell me that with as low as he had to go to find the heartbeat, he is pretty positive it's a boy. XD A LOT of people think it's a boy and we are hoping for a boy, but I have SO many girly things of my own that I can decorate the nursery with if it's a girl! haha If it's a boy, I'm gonna need to do some shopping or do something.


    I'm looking forward to my next ultrasound on March 6th. Hopefully, if the baby isn't being stubborn, we will be able to find out if it's a girl or a boy. Before that time though, I have to get more blood work done. The doctor told me this one is to check for down syndrome and other things.

  • Hi VideoGameMom. 

    I just had my baby girl and I was a lot like you during pregnancy.  I only wish that I enjoyed it more.  My focus has been on a career that even when I told my boss the news he thought I was quitting because I was so upset. 

    I was also really worried about the weight gain.  I am 5 feet and was shocked when I was told that I could gain up to 40 lbs!  In the end I gained 18 and my little girl was 6.2 lbs.  The key thing here is that everyone is different and you will do what feels right for you so my recommendation is to eat when you are hungry and try to keep it healthy.  It will help you in the long run. 

    Just take it one day at a time and be thankful for your husband and the support that he is giving you.  Every little bit helps!

  • VideoGameMom - so glad everything came back normal with your cervical length! That's a relief. Sounds your like your doctor is doing all the right things to make sure all is well. So fun that you may have a boy! Do you have any names you like - either girl or boy names? I hope everything continues to be perfectly normal for you - keep us up to date! :-) 

  • Hiii...

    I went through your post and I am happy to know that everything has fallen in place for you. I totally understand how freaked out one can be to hear something is wrong from the doctor's mouth!!

    I am first time mom and 11 weeks pregnant. I have had 2 unsuccessful pregnancies and you can imagine, every minute until 12 weeks, is too much to take. Any discomfort would shake me and I get freaked out and call my nurse!

    I had my first ultra sound at 4 weeks since I was spotting, My doc said it could be threatened a/b. I was shattered to hear this. however my doctor told me that it can be confirmed after hcg level and thankfully it came out fine.

    I went for II Ultrasound at 8 weeks and saw the baby and heart beat was fine. They told me that I will hear the heart beat in my 13th week appointment.

    My husband and I are relieved that so far everything has been going good . so I exactly know how you feel. We are waiting for out next ultrasound that is scheduled this month end and I am hoping all is well. :)

    I hope everything goes very well for you and am excited for you! Its a Boy... congrats once again to you and be well .:)

    Bye, Take care.

    Keep in touch.


  • First, congrats! Second, it's okay to be nervous. I am 13w 2d and this is my second child. Anyway, talk to your doctor if pain concerns you. As for labor, talk to your doctor about pain reliever options. I had an epidural with my son and that gets rid of all the pain. The second trimester is where it gets easier for most. Hang in there! You can do it! If you are worried about depression, talk to your doctor about management options. I have Bipolar II disorder and I have to be off my medications for the pregnancy. I just check in with my psych often and that helps me. The doctors do medical screenings and they will keep track of your baby's health and let you know of any worries. Your husband should be excited, it's normal and good!

  • UPDATE!!!


    Well, I had my ultrasound!!! IT'S A BOY!!! Big Smile We had a good feeling it was and was really hoping for a boy and now it has been confirmed! Big Smile We do not have any names really picked out yet. My husband and I have been throwing some names out there, but have not come to a decision yet. I have already let the family know and they are all happy it's a boy since there are TOO many girls in my family. lol My mom had 4 girls, my grandma had 3 and one of my aunts had 2 girls and 1 boy. We really needed another boy. haha


    But, there is still a small bad side.......turns out that even though my previous ultrasound showed that my cervix looked good, my doctor has still listed me with an insufficient cervix and I DO require a consultation with a doctor that specializes in high risk pregnancies. :\ I was told that even though my cervix looks fine now, that can change as the baby grows and it could cause my cervix to get too short and could cause a problem. Right now I am 19w 4d and everything still seems okay, but it seems like I am gonna have to be monitored now. Guess we are gonna have to wait and see what happens and hope for the best.

  • Yay for boys!!! I have two of my own and they are so wonderful! Congrats on your little man. :-) I'll be thinking of you as you go in for your consultation - hopefully it turns out to be a minor issue. Congrats again! 

  • Congrats! Little boys are awesome! I love my son (he is 10 months old). i want a girl this time because I think one girl and one boy would be nice. Another boy would be fine too though! Just make sure you keep up with your doctor and so research and make sure you are careful.