I'm pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to get an abortion. Help

  • I want to apologize right off the bat if I write too much. I am about 8 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend does not want the baby. I on the other hand will not even consider an abortion. I have a blood disease and I honestly feel blessed to even be pregnant. I told him that I was and he was so nervous. His first response was, " I'm not ready to be a dad" that was it. I felt so alone. After 2 weeks my mom called and I left her on speaker so my boyfriend could hear how upset my mom was that I was even considering getting an abortion. So, after the phone call ended he sat quiet for a few minutes and finally said, " I don't want to be the bad guy. I'm not ready to be a dad, but what do you want. Honestly." I had already told him the previous weeks what I wanted and cried constantly knowing I'd be getting an abortion just for him. I told him I wanted to have the baby and he took a deep breath. I told him he wouldn't have to worry he would be gone 6 months right after the baby was born. (He's military and will be deploying) He started to actually tear up and told me he wanted to be there for his child. I was so excited. We started talking about how my family and his family would be so excited, baby stuff, and about setting up a doctors appointment. I had already told my family and he hadn't. So, a week went by and I was living in the bliss of being pregnant. I reminded him to call his parents and to not put it off any longer because he had stopped talking about the baby and didn't really say much about it. So, he called and I went upstairs since I was little afraid to hear what they would say. He came back upstairs about  half an hour later and I could see he had been crying. He kept shaking his head saying " I tried and I'm not ready to be a dad" he kept repeating that and I cried instantly. My sister booked me a flight home and I was gone within 2 hours. I couldn't be there anymore living in that guilt.I can only hope this gives him time to think. I told him I am not getting rid of the baby. I feel so alone and depressed. I have no idea what to do or how to feel about being pregnant. I can only pray that he comes back around and gets emotional and excited about having the like he did before. I know a lot of it was his dad influencing him. I could really just use some good company and nice people to talk to. Nothing negative please. I am so sorry I wrote so much and for any typos. I'm using my phone and just want to post this ASAP. Thank you so much again. 

  • Don't listen to your boyfriend. This is your child too and it deserves to live and to be loved by a amazing mommy. After I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend told me to get a abortion. I told him no because its wrong. He left me. He also joined the army and is gone. I'm 7 months now and will be 8 next sunday. I am preparing for my little girl to arrive in this world, and even though im a single mom, who still lives at home in my parent house, im going to be a strong mom for my little girl. A mother becomes a mother when shes pregnant, a father becomes a father when he sees his child.

  • First of all I want to say Congratulations on your pregnancy. Although it is not what you planned and it certainly isn't turning out the way you envisioned, this little miracle is supposed to be here. You obviously want to have this baby and your baby is lucky that you were chosen to be his mom. I know that it seems scary to embark on this adventure without your boyfriend, but if he isn't ready, then you need to move on without him. You obviously have people in your life who will support and nurture you--your mom and sister are two that I can see right off the bat. Surround yourself with loving people who will care for you and your baby and help you get on the right track. Forget your boyfriend. Who knows what the future will bring and a little space may be all he needs to get his head clear and man up. If not, then you are better off without him. 

    Your baby only needs one amazingly loving parent and he/she already has that in you. Stay strong and try to build a network of people who will be positive role models for your baby. Your family, some friends, a church, maybe even a support group of single moms. I hope this helps. I am glad that you are here on Strong Moms and if you need even more support or words of encouragement let us know. Stay strong! 

  • I want to thank you so much for taking the time to write me! Hat really made my day and boosted my spirits. I am so sorry that happened to you too! I want to say congratulations to you. I bet you are going to make such an amazing mommy. I admire you courage and strength and you have given me hope. Thank you. I have heard that saying before and I can only hope he wants to be there for the birth and see his baby. I just hope comes around. A part of me can't get over him just yet. I hope you are doing well and I can't thank you enough for writing. Take care. :)

  • I'm sorry you are encountering such grief when in what should be your time of joy. This seems to be a common trend right now; as i have posted about three similar cases just this month. I think that maybe you need to make it very clear to your boyfriend that this baby is here to stay and invite him to be a part of it's life and let him know that if he's not ready then that is ok. Even though it will hurt to see your child grow up without a dad, it will not hurt nearly as bad to see him or her grow up with an inadequate dad who puts juvenile things above his childs happiness and well being. Now with that being said it is entirely possible that he will turn around once the baby is born and he can see and hold the baby; so even if he isn't ready to be a dad still make sure to invite him when the baby is born so he know exactly what he is giving up if he should choose to be there. Other than that give him some space, let him breathe and collect himself. If he comes around then AWESOME!!! If he keeps the same standing that he isn't ready then you really need to let him go for the sake of everyone involved, especially your baby. Gravitate toward people who are supportive of what you want and leave the others in the past. I hope it all works out for you. Best of luck,

  • I am impressed beyond words with how you are handling your boyfriend response.  You know how you feel and you are standing up for your beliefs and desire to have a baby.  I just applaud your strength and courage.  I also LOVE that you have good family support and that you are with your sister now.  You so need to be in  a supportive environment.

    You have come to the right place for support and encouragement.  I hope you will continue to post.

    Stay strong!

    -Jess

  • You are a strong lady - I can tell by your story and your convictions. I just wanted to say that I wish I could give you a hug and I totally understand why you are feeing sad about your boyfriend. Even though he is not stepping up to the plate like you hoped, it's hard when you suddenly lose someone you've been so close to. I'm hoping that, given time, he will come around. If not, you have many friends and family who love, it sounds like. Your child will be a tremendous blessing in your life. Congrats on your sweet baby. :-)

  • First of all, congrats on your baby and good for you for doing what YOU wanted to do. You are the mother and if you want to keep the baby, you should. Don't let anyone try to influence you otherwise, that is wrong of them. I think time away from him is probably a good idea. He is probably scared. You could search out some support groups to help you through all this. Ask your doctor if they know of any or search online. It sounds like your family is supportive, you should stay around positive and supportive people as much as possible.

  • kkis- How are you doing? Keep us updated - thinking of you. 

  • Do what is best for YOU. I think it's great that you are being so brave and strong by wanting to keep the baby. Good for you. The baby is a creation of God. You're a strong girl

  • kkris -How are you doing? Just wanted to see how you were and to let you know that we are all here for you on Strong Moms!

  • Hi, First off congrats a baby is a gift from GOD! I can't say I know what you are going through but it seems as if you have a lot of supportive people behind you. I saw someone else post that a we become mother's as soon as we hear You're Pregnant and that is so true. Sometimes with men it can take awhile. I am glad you made the decision to be with your family you need all the support you can get. I pray that he comes arounds if not. I believe you are a strong enough women to handle it on your own. Good luck