Not much longer now - VERY freaked out

  • So I am now in my 37th week as of 7/8 and am very nervous. I have a million thoughts running through my mind. I keep wondering if the baby is okay, is he going to be born without problems, will I make it through delivery, will he be underweight, and probably the worst though, will I have severe post partum depression to where I reject him? In case you can't tell, I have a tendency to be a pessimist. XD

     

    I feel I may be more concerned about the depression part than my husband because I was hospitalized for depression YEARS ago, and have been fine for the most part, but with raging hormones, I think I might fall off the deep end after I have him. He has already told me to make sure I talk to him about any thoughts I may be having if I start to feel sad or depressed. He is being very supportive. :)

     

    My other concern is the fact that I have NEVER been around babies. Never even held one. I've seen them when I go out, but NEVER have I wanted to run up to someone and ask to see him/her. Because of that, I wonder if I will even be able to take care of him. My husband has experience with little ones since he helped his sister taker care of her first since she was young and living at home so he helped out. I can be so forgetful and lazy at times that I worry that I might forget about something that I need to do for the baby.

     

    As my due date (7/29) approaches sooner every day, I am feeling the anxiety of everything more and more. I've already taken my maternity leave from work and now I have all this free time to sit here and wonder about the "what ifs". It's been hard to sleep at night lately because of how uncomfortable I feel with all the pressure in my belly. I don't tolerate pain too well so I feel miserable all the time now. I just don't want to do anything.

  • Oh you sound so much like me... it's actually like hearing myself talk. I think you really need to get out with some friends and get your mind off of everything for a little bit and have some free time while you still can. You WILL make it through delivery, just like your mother did, and her mother did, and her mother did. Just remember that the hospital staff is there to assist you through this. They will give you many options along the way and don't be afraid to speak up and and ask questions if you have them. and lastly on the delivery.. Don't be afraid to change your birth plan if you feel you need to. As long as that baby and you make it through delivery safely then life is great!!!... As far as the mothering instinct is concerned i was the same as you. I was incredibly awkward around babies and children. I just didn't know how to relate to them. Once my daughter was born it took a day or so to get comfortable with picking her up, but everything else (the mothering instinct) kicked into overdrive. Most importantly... just use your common sense. Babies want very few things when they are first born, food, diaper change, and comfort. Sometimes you won't know what is wrong and that is ok... sometimes there isn't anything you can do other than just waiting it out.... As far as your fears of postpartum depression is concerned make sure you let your doctor in on that so he or she can help monitor you a little more closely. I know that after my daughter was born i had to take a questionnaire at each of my appointments to make sure i wasn't showing signs of depression... i can't remember exactly but i think my daughters doctor also had me fill one out as well. anyway the fact that you are so scared and concerned right now tells me that you certainly will be a great mother. Just relax a little and have faith in the people around you.

  • VideoGameMom

    Having your first child is a real game changer and it is going to be hard.  Hang in there the first three months and things start to look brighter. They start sleeping through the nights, and smiling.That will be your biggest reward!!!!!!!!!!! I often wondered if I was ever doing anything right, but you tend to just go with it. In no time you and your baby will bond no worries there. Good Luck with everything and post any questions along the way. We are always here to help!

    mandy

  • You and your husband are both right to be concerned...but don't let your fears get in the way of you enjoying your new baby. You will get the hang of things and as long as you keep your doctor informed of your mood and/or any abnormal thoughts, you should be fine. Be sure to rest when you can in preparation for the big day. Good luck and let us know how it goes. 

  • I'm so glad that our mom's have replied to your post and given you such great advice/insight!  Your fears are not new.  I think the piece that I can offer is that perhaps some positive affirmations will help when you get sucked into negative thinking.  So for instance when you get worried about the baby being healthy, you can try to stop the worry and say to yourself "I'm going to have a healthy baby".  Another helpful thing is to visualize in your head things going well.  Visualize that baby being born pink, screaming (that's a good thing!), and then curled up happy in your arms.  Visualize him eating well.  The mind is a powerful thing!

    -Jess

  • Sometimes early maternity leave is both a blessing and a curse! You have time to relax a little more but also more time to think of all the what-ifs! All I can say is this - you will be able to deal with everything as it comes. One step at a time...just take life one foot in front of the other. You are going to be a great mommy just because you CARE about all these things. Absolutely no one is perfect - you WILL screw up on some things with your child...beacuse you are human! You just try again harder the next time and give yourself some grace. I'll be thinking of you as you have your little one - so exciting! You will be amazed - life is precious with a baby. :-) 

  • I was worried too. It is good to keep communication open with your partner. You can also talk to your doctor too if you have concerns. I think it is normal for most new moms to feel nervous. I was both nervous and excited. It is also important to remember that a lot of people get baby blues which is different from postpartum depression. I had postpartum depression when I had my son, the main thing was to get help and let people know and remember that it is common and not your fault. All you can do is read up on babies and how to care for them. Make sure you have people willing to help you if you need it, it makes things a lot better.

  • Videogamemom-

    It's been a few days since you posted so i wanted to write to check in and see how you are feeling.  I hope that your anxiety about having the baby have calmed a bit.  We are all thinking about you and cheering for you.  

    Hugs, 

    Keep in touch!

    -Jess

  • Just wanted to check in with everyone!

     

    I mentioned before that my due date was the 29th of this month, well.............HE IS HOME ALREADY!!!! He decided to come 2 weeks early. He weighed 7lbs 2oz and was 19in long. I nearly freaked out when my water broke. It was first a small trickle and I experienced a pretty strong contraction. With the 2nd contraction (15min later) there was more gushing and from there, my contractions got closer together.

     

    It all started at 9:45pm on the 14th and he was born at 6:09am on the 15th. It would have been MUCH sooner than that, but the epidural slowed things down and allowed me to get some rest and relaxation since my contractions were 2 minutes apart. I was at 2cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital and within about an hour, I made it to 9.5cm. That was when I finally got the epidural. I guess for a first time, that was FAST!

     

    He has all 10 fingers and toes so I was really happy about that. He is a pretty good baby. He's hardly fussy, eats well, and because he is still sleeping a lot, it allows me to get some rest or have a little time to myself to think about what still needs to be done since I didn't think he would even be here until his due date if not later.

     

    He's healthy, has good coloring although there is slight yellowing of the skin and eyes, which the nurses told me is normal. With being 2 weeks early, I didn't think he would be so big! I'm glad everything worked out and I made it through everything considering I had NO lamaze classes.

  • YAY Congrats!!! See now that you have faced your fear and have made it through child birth you can focus on taking care of that amazing little boy! just make sure you stay aware of your moods so that you can get help if postpartum depression sets in. Congrats again!

  • I see that we have the same exact due date and I am going threw the same things that you are I cant sleep good and I am tired all the time and I am now to the point I am way over being pregnant.

     

  • Videogamemom-
    WOW!  That is quite a story.  It just made my day to hear that you have a healthy baby at home with you.  Terrific news!  How are things going at home?  Are you getting any sleep at all?  

    -Jess 

  • That is exciting to hear! I am glad he is a healthy baby. My son was 2 weeks early as well and 6 pounds 14oz. I am expecting my daughter to be born at around 37 weeks since she is already trying to get out of there and I am on limitations to prevent preterm labor. My first birth was easy too, the whole entire labor (counting early, active, and pushing) was 12 hours. He would have come out easily, but he got stuck by his shoulders, so he was a c-section in the end. I am doing a VBAC this time and I think she will be born easily. I am glad your labor went well!

  • Congrats! I think the support you have received has taught you a valuable lesson and that is there is a great deal of support networks out there for helping you raise your baby and deal with your potential depression. Parental instinct has a way of making what you need to do clearer, but even the most spectacular of parents feel inadequate at times. You will not be perfect so don't beat yourself up when you make mistakes! You always have your network of friends here at Strong Moms if ever you have any questions or concerns.

  • Jess, Things seem to be going okay. My husband, in his honest opinion, believes we are doing great and are doing the best we can to take care of him. I'm hardly getting any sleep. My husband is getting more sleep than I am. I'm the one that seems to be getting stuck having to get up in the middle of the night to take care of him. My husband did take some time off from work, but I guess he wants to make sure that he stays on his sleep/work schedule so he isn't burned out when he goes back to work and risks getting injured at work.

     

    I was lucky to have ONE good night where I managed to get 4 hours of undisturbed sleep, but so often at night, he just cries. It's to the point where we think he might be getting really gassy at night or something. We might have to change formulas. I'm still in a fair amount of pain and when I am unable to sleep and my body hurts as much as it does, I want to cry. I'm so tired and I can barely hold him to comfort him. Holding him seems to quiet him, but the second I put him down, he starts screaming all over again. :\