Baby shower for second baby...yes or no?

  • I am super bummed out because no one offered to throw a shower for me.  I have a son that is almost three and had a shower for him.  I am 37 weeks along with another boy, and nothing. Not that I want people to buy me stuff, but it would be nice since we donated everything because we weren't planning on another child (happy accident :) ).

    My friends and cousins that just had their second child, or are due soon, have had showers. Are they just fortunate, or do people usually have showers for second, third, etc. babies?  I feel like no one is celebrating the arrival of this baby the way they did my first son.  I have pictures for his shower, but will not be to share that memory with my second son. I'm just being silly, right?

  • I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel like this baby is being celebrated - every baby deserves to be cherished! I don't think you are silly to feel sad about not having a shower. Every mother loves to share her excitement and love with other friends and family. Is there anyone worth mentioning this to? A sibling or parent who might be able to put something together to welcome your little boy - even after he arrives? Hugs to you. 

  • I'm sorry fo are feeling hurt and left out. Is it typical in your family to have a shower with each baby? Either way i think it is worth mentionging to someone so you can at the very least have some resolve. Chances are no one really knows that you want or need a shower for this baby. So maybe bringing it to light would be benificial. I know in my family it is typical to only have one baby shower unless there are circumstances such as my sisters whos children are all several years apart and her baby stuff was all either long gone or completely outdated by the time the next baby came along.  But like Julie mentioned every baby should be cherished and it is important that you feel like your new one is. 

  • I don't think that you are being silly... because the excitement of having another baby should be shared. It's tough to suggest to people to throw you a shower, so maybe you can ask a good friend or family member to plan it together and celebrate. I know time is tight, but you don't have to do anything extravagant. Congratulations!

  • Yes, I think new baby, new shower.  You are not being silly at all.  I will share with you that I asked a friend to coordinate my 30th birthday party for me as I didn't want to be hurt if no one thought to have a party...so I arranged for my own!  I don't regret it a bit.

    -Jess

  • In general, I think that baby showers are usually thrown only for first time moms and moms with LOTS of years in between children. That being said, if you want a baby shower, why  not consider throwing your own "diaper party". My sister did that and it was for couples...they supplied the beverages and food and everyone brought diapers to the party and a side dish as their "entrance fee". It was a fun way to celebrate their new arrival without having a formal "shower". 

  • I had one for both of my kids, but I have a boy and a girl. I hear people throw "Diaper Parties" for subsequent children. i would have just done that if I had another boy and not a girl.

  • I am pregnant with my second son as well, i am currently 25 weeks pregnant.. I had a shower for my first son, and my mom & sister-in-law are throwing me a shower for this one as well. I think you should have a shower, even if you have to throw it for yourself or hint around the subject, it would be nice, especially since you donated all your stuff from your first son. I did the same thing and that is one reason my family is throwing me a shower. I think its a nice gesture. And i don't think you are being silly.  

  • That is a good idea! Thank you!

  • Thank you for the hugs ;) We are military and don't have family around. I might feel more comfortable asking a family member, but no one is coming for the birth of this baby.  My mom was here for a few months with the birth of my first son and helped throw the shower.

  • Thank you all for the support!  I feel better knowing I am not just being silly. I think we may have a "Meet Baby Cole" party after he arrives. A shower makes me think of gift giving and I just don't feel right throwing my own, like I am asking for gifts.  I liked the potluck style party someone suggested. If I have the energy, I think we will do that just so we can celebrate this baby like we did our oldest son.

  • Glad you at least have some support here. :-) You are not alone! Cole is such a cute name, by the way. :-) 

  • Great idea to throw the party after he arrives! Good luck!

  •  I am glad that we were able to help! Can't wait for his arrival. When is he scheduled to make his grand entrance into the world?

  • I agree with SuperDad03, why wait around on someone to throw you a shower? Get with a family member or friend to see if they'd like to help you throw/plan a shower. Sometimes you just have to do things yourself. Just because no one stepped up and offered to throw you one doesn't mean you cannot have one. I'm sure if it's planned and put together, people will come baring gifts! Like yourself, I am pregnant with my 2nd and my 1st just turned three. I need all new things since it's a girl this time. I didnt wait around for anyone to offer to throw me one. I just mentioned I was having one and various family members offered on their own to help plan. So start putting that registry together girl! Don't let your feelings get in the way of having your friends and family celebrate the new life you're bringing into this world! And you also dont want to miss out on getting items to help you out with the expenses that come along with it! Good luck!