first pregnancy

  • I am 16 weeks into my first pregnancy at 20 years old. the bay's dad is 29. we been together for 3 years. I found out I was pregnant right after I got a new house with the baby's father, also right after I got fired from my job. I was terrified when I found out, but as time has gone by I've become very excited. I can't wait to find out what I am having and I can't wait to meet my new baby. My only thing is the baby's dad. There are days when he is so wonderful and supportive, then there are day I feel so disconnected from him. I asked him the other day if he was excited about being a dad and all he could say to me was "sure".  Is this a guy thing? Or is it something deeper?

  • While it is true that pregnancy affects men differently, it is hard to say if your boyfriend's reaction is appropriate or not. My husband never seemed as excited about the pregnancy as I did. At first, I was upset by this, but as time went on...I realized that it was fairly natural. After all, the guys are not actually pregnant. They are not reminded about the baby or the pregnancy every minute of the day. They do not feel the baby kicking around at night or feel the uncomfortable aches and pains of a growing belly. As a result, I think that many men feel "disconnected" from the entire experience and it doesn't actually become real for them until the baby is born.

    When my children were born, one look at my husband's face told me that he was just as madly in love as I was. Now, he is an amazing father!

    Talk to your boyfriend and make sure that there isn't something else going on..maybe he is worried or scared about becoming a father. Keep the lines of communication open and continue to keep him involved in the pregnancy. Good luck and congratulations!

  • I know just what u mean. When we first found i was preg i was in the hospital for a migraine. of corse i was freaking out but after 3 weeks of him not telling me how he was taking it, i finaly got fed up and asked his mom if he had said anything to her, and of corse he had.  He just needed some time to process the information. dont force him to talk to you if he is not ready yet cause some things could be said that may hender the relationship. (speeking from experance)

    ~Stich's Mommie~ Pizza

  • From a Dad's point of view, I was excited we were expecting, but I vowed to not get too high or too low through the process, because I knew my wife would be on a roller coaster. It's much easier for the Dads when the baby is actually born and baby and mommy are OK... it was a huge relief for me. When my daughters were born, it felt real... and that's when I became so excited to be a Dad.... hope this helps!

  • i know exactly what you mean. i was 20 when i became pregnant and things just seemed terrifing, i didnt know what to do or expect. my babies dad never shows emotions. he always seemed like he didnt care whether or not we were having a kid and then in the delivery room when she was born he broke down crying he was soo happy. But since we had our daughter he went back to his emotionless self thats just the type of person he is but i always know he is there for us even if it doesnt feel like it sometimes. it pretty much is just a guy thing, it just depends on the guy.

    kativolin88

  • thanks.. it helps knowing i'm not the only one to have felt this way. It seems he is getting better. He has actually thought up names, and becoming more invloved.

  • One of the main differences between a man & women is emotions (I'm sure this comes as no surprise).  My husband was the same way with our first, and we now have 4.  As women we are already dreaming of what our baby will look like, what we will name him or her etc.  Meanwhile, all the guys are thinking about is how are we going to pay for all of the things this baby will need for immediate needs and future needs.  Also, it is hard for the guys to always feel the same because it's not their body.  Don't worry, as time goes along (and it may take until the baby comes) he will be great.  It's a lot for them to process too.  They just don't have the hormones to help them along Big Smile

  • i was 18 and my now husband had just turned 20 when we found out about our first. After the being Freaked out like crazy he was supportive but not crazy until the baby started moving and i started showing more and fun things like sono started. Then he had a reminder of what was going on. We are now on our second pregnancy and We're going thru the same thing he doesn't seem all that excited but he did call and tell all his friends i'm getting congrats from people he sees way more then i do and i didn't tell them...so i know that he is...men just aren't as good at showing emotions as women (Sorry dad's but sometimes it's very true) I know he can't wait until the sonograms start for us i'm only 14 weeks now so 6 more weeks. But I'm sure once things get farther along he'll show his excitment more. So dont worry and dont press because then he'll feel bad and just say things just to make you happy which isn't always a good  thing.