worried about miscarrying

  • i miscarried in april and now im pregnant again and due in april every time i go to the bathroom i check to make sure there isnt any blood im driving myself crazy any advice on how to handle this

  • Reaching out the the StrongMoms community is a great first step, as other mothers who have miscarried and then delivered to term may be able to provide some advice as to what they did to alleviate their anxiety. Locally, maybe there is someone your doctor can recommend for you to speak with who has been through a miscarriage.

  • lindsi2011-

    I'm sure you do feel anxious about this as it most likely brings up a lot of memories from your miscarriage.  What I want to encourage you to do is to think about what other experiences you have had in your life that have been tough, and try to recall what it is that helped you cope, got you though, and where it was you drew your strength from.  There have been other times that things have been hard, and by just knowing this you should have some confidence in your ability to handle tough stuff.  Additionally it might be worthwhile to try to draw upon some of those skills that you have used before to get through hard times.  Please continue to come here and draw upon us for strength.  Hang in there and keep us posted, Jess

  • well I know first hand what you are going through. I had gotten pregnant for the first time and then miscarried at 9weeks. I was very sad when it happen and could not understand why it happen. My husband was very supportive of me and did what he could to help. Now I am 8and a half months pregnant. But when I first got pregnant me and my husband kept the news to ourselves at first so just incase it happen again. But I , myself, was a little worried because i really wanted kids, but i tried to remain clam and not let myself get to worried. Because it it not good for the baby. Try to not focus too much on. I know it is hard to do, but if you think positive it might help you stay clam.

  • Sorry to hear you had to go through a rough thing like a miscarriage. I imagine that you would be anxious and worried this time around. I don't know what exactly you can do to help relieve these feelings except to do some things that are stress relieving. Maybe grab a journal and write letters to the baby each day, do some relaxing yoga and breathing exercises, hop on the phone and vent to a friend. As time goes on, each doctor visit will help you feel better and getting past the 12-13 week mark will be a milestone because your risk for miscarriage goes down significantly. Hang in there...no matter what happens, you are going to be alright.

  • I know how you must be feeling. I can completely relate because my first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage. The first time was in 2009. I didnt even know I was pregnant when I found out I was miscarrying. I think I might have been around 6 weeks. I really don't know. My first miscarriage was really hard for me and painful emotionally. I was 26 years old and at the point where I was starting to think there was something wrong with me because my husband and I used no protection or precautions to not try to get pregnant and I never got pregnant in 6 years with him. Then when I found out I had been pregnant, it was bittersweet because it was over before it started, but at least I knew I could get pregnant. It took some time to heal, but eventually i was ok with it. I had a lot of support from my family and my husband. The second pregnancy was last year in 2010. I found out I was pregnant around 4 weeks and the day after I got the positive pregnancy test at home (which btw was the first ever home pregnancy test that turned out positive!) I started to spot. My doctor told me not to worry about it that everything would be ok. But as the days went by the spotting got worse and my hcG levels started going down and then finally leveled off, so I knew I had miscarried again. I bled from October, well into December. The second miscarriage was probably harder than the first because I slightly had gotten my hopes up only to have things end badly for the second time. This third and current pregnancy has been the healthiest pregnancy. I have had some symptoms and thankfully no spotting or bleeding. I am now 15 weeks and this is the farthest I have made it. Even tho I am past the 12 week mark after the chances of miscarriage go down, I still worry about having one. It's hard for me to really embrace the pregnancy because I am scared of being let down again by my own body. But things that people have told me is that it is not healthy to stress and worry so much. You have to try to keep a positive attitude and accept that your body knows what is healthy and what is not. And there is really nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage if it is going to happen and its probably not anything you do that will cause it to happen. Even if you take care of yourself 100%, anything can happen. You just have to trust that everything will work out on its own and whatever happens is what was meant to happen no matter how much you worry or what you do. So just try to relax and let things happen as they will happen. Just take care of yourself because its all you can do. I am trying to tell myself and follow these same advice I am giving to you. Hopefully you will read this post and it will comfort you to know that you are not alone. I am glad I joined this forum today because it has made me feel better to read some posts that are almost the same exact thoughts and feelings that are going through my mind. It is comforting to know that I can come here and relate to other women who have similar experiences and read about how they are coping, and read the support comments to the thoughts similar to mine. Even tho the comments are directed at someone else who asked for them, I find comfort in those comments because I feel as if they could be talking to me as well. I hope you find some peace of mind.

    -Micki

  • Micki-what a sweet and supportive message. It's really great to hear from people who have gone through the difficult times and come out on the other side. Unfortunately, lindsi2011 posted in a different section that she ended up miscarrying this pregnancy. I hope she sees this message though because you've got a positive message for her and maybe you two could talk and connect. Take care and my prayers are with your current pregnancy!

  • I understand what ur going threw, I had a misscarriage early this yr, I started bleeding mid Jan & didn't stop bleeding till the end of March, but I am now 27wks Pregnant... I still drive myself nuts looking for blood in the bathroom, I also did everything I wanted to do, had up's & down's that really should've killed this kid...

    best thing I can tell u is the sooner u give up & juz forget it, the better off the baby will be.. ur body will do it's job to protect the baby all u gotta do is live...

    I've taken the fright of horse back rideing and belly blows from saddle horns, I lived n a tent, I have 3 cats & 4 dog & a Very Beautiful Horse... I did not quit doing what I love to do....

    and My Son is alive & Healthy... this is my 1st kid outa 4 pregnancies... Sometime you juz gotta let go...

  • @lindsi2011   i also totally understand what you are going through. i am 12 weeks into my thrid pregnancy, my first two ended in miscarriages. my first was 2 years ago and i was only about 5 wks but it still hurt soo bad and then when we got a second chance i was  scared but thought to myself it wouldn't happen again. everything was going fine, at least we thought so anyways. i went for my second dr appoinment and my first ultrasound and they couldn't find anything.... i hadn't started the actual process of the miscarriage yet, i hadn't started hurting or bleeding yet. went to hospital for a D&C and ended up having to go back in for surgery to remove what was thought to be a large cyst on my left ovary. the cyst turned out to be endo. instead and while cleaning me out my right ovary began to bleed and it had to be removed. but here i am a year after my surgery and 12 wks pregnant. this is the furtherest i have gotten. had an ultrasound done a few wks ago and got to see my little baby, that helped so much, it was like a little peace of mind to know that everything was ok and it had a heartbeat! we have took some precations and only a few people know about it right now but i just keep tellin myself this is gonna be the time it works!!!

  • Rettaree - What a journey you have been on! Wow - so many ups and downs. It is absolutely wonderful that you can share your story with other women and give them some hope for the future. My prayers are with you this pregnancy - keep us up to speed and good luck! :-)

  • @PediNurseJulie1 - thank you and here is an update on how me and my baby are doing. i went back to the doctor a few days ago and we got to hear my baby's heartbeat. i was realy nervous for this appt. cause it was about this time when i lost my 2nd baby and not to mention i had went shopping with my bff and bought some maternity clothes. i thought i might have jinxed myself but turns out things are going good. the doctor said everything sounded really good and the baby sounded strong, it had a heart rate of 163. this was a really happy day for my husband and i! Smile

  • Rettaree - YAY! So thrilled for you and your husband! What a great day, indeed. :-) I'm so excited for you and will continue to keep you in my prayers.

  • I miscarried twice within a year. dec of 2009 and Dec of 2010...guess what we are pregnant RIGHT NOW lol...what we moms must do that have experienced such tragedy is to embrace these pregnancies, pray, and relax. We have to just be happy and enjoy being pregnant....its okay to be afraid because it is a sad and scary thing but a New life is a blessing....so embrace it, love it...Enjoy it

  • I hope y0u find all of theses posts helpful i have had five miscarriages. im now  9 weeks and 5 days and have been bleeding for three weeks now a few times i passed clots and thought i miscarried but surprisingly i have not. i have a sonogram each week to check on the baby and we are still going strong.if yiou are going to have a miscarriage nothting can stop it while you are still pregnant relax and enjoy it. my doctors were shocked when they found i was pregnant and was told after a few ER visits i was miscarrying and there was nothting they can do, but they were wrong. the best you can do is try not to stress and be positive and i know its hard to do surround yurself with positive loving peopoe who wont let you dwell on the "what if's" and focus on the what is

    best baby wishes, good luck!!!!!Wink

  • @PediNurseJulie1   just wanted to give you an update, i went back to the doctor today and everything is going great. i am 16 weeks and 2 days now. we had a little scare a few weeks ago with my bp and we had to make an unexpected vsit to the doctor but turned out to be nothing to worry about, at least that is what they said anyways. we are gonna tell our families at Christmas and we get to go on Jan 4 to find out what we are having. i can't wait!!!!!!Big Smile