First Time Mother

  • I am a young, first time mother and I'm SUPER nervous.  I can't decide whether I wan  to go through with a medicated birth or a natural birth because of all the painful stories I have heard.  I'm really scared and need advice from REALwomen who have been there, done that and can give me good, reasssuring advice.  Can someone help me and guide me the right way?

  • Monique-

    You have come to the right place for support, advice and education on anything and everything baby, mom and family!  So WELCOME!  It sounds like ou are approaching some very exciting times in welcoming ou first baby home!

    I am not the best on to answer your question but I know that some of the other ladies here will jump on this and share lots of insight with you!

    Take care and keep us posted,


  • Yes I am and thank you so much.  Any advice is 100% fine with me! Big Smile

  • Monique - 

    Welcome to StrongMoms! Congrats on your pregnancy - so exciting. :-) I think a lot of women spend a ton of time worrying about labor - I know I did! I've seen a lot of babies born and I think that a good middle ground approach is one of the best ways to go. You can always try to go into your labor planning to do a natural birth and go as far as you can. You may surprise yourself with your ability to handle labor because the pain has a wonderful payoff at the end! You should not beat yourself up or feel terrible, however, if you end up needing some medication to help out. However you deliver the baby, a healthy baby is the most successful birth you can have. So, my advice is to attempt a natural but have the medication be an okay option if it is not something you are able to handle. I'd go to a labor and birth class to learn more about techniques for getting through labor. You can do it!! :-)

  • Well I havent gone into labor yet. I still have 4 weeks left to go, but what i can say coming from some one who had to get premature labor stopped at 25weeks. Its really about how you handle your breathing and handling your pain if you have any at all. The best advise i can give is to look up some pratice breathing online or in birthing class. As well get someone wether it is the BD or your mom best friend who ever is big in your life to help incourage you in staying strong. I found strenth with god and my husband. And believe in yourself that you can do it.

  • Thank you.  I know that mus have been difficult for you.  I am looking into Lamaze classes and anything i can get into that will help.  The strongest person I have is my mother be cause my BD is a little scary thing. Smile  I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy and I wish you the best of luck Mehgan!  Thanks for your input;  very helpful!

  • @PediNurseJulie1:

    Thank you so much.  I am spending alot of time worrying about it because i'm not sure if i'll be able to handle the pain of something like that.  I want to have a natural birth that way me and my baby can bond right after birth but if the pain is unbearable, yes I am shooting for some pain relief! Big Smile  Yes the payoff is wonderful and i'm anxious to meet my baby.  Any suggestions to some good classes in the Norfolk VA area?

  • I used to live in that area! :-) I took some classes with the Sentara hospitals and they were pretty good. I'm not sure if they had Lamaze specifically but they do talk about your options in labor. I also checked out some books/dvds from the library. There was a surprising amount of good material there. I'd also consider looking for a doula - they are someone who is a GREAT support to you in labor and they can do everything they can to get you through a birth medication free. Check them out!

  • Oh really? That's great and those all sound like a great ideas! Unfortunately, with me shopping for baby this and baby that, i can't afford a midwife or doula. That sucks because I was really hoping to find one. My sister says her insurance pays for hers but for some reason I can't find one! Indifferent I need help finding one in this area.

  • I'm not sure exactly where to go about finding one other than putting your city and the word "doula" into a search engine. I hope you are able to find exactly what you need. Most of all, your baby just needs you after delivery to love on him/her. You will do fabulously!

  • Hey girl! All new moms are super nervous I was,

    When I had my oldest who is now 7 I was 16 turned 17 a month before I had her. It was scary. Labor way ugh but not bad for my first 7hrs. I had no drugs stuff makes me worry. It is not as bad as it sounds I now have 4 children 7yr 4 1\2 3yrs and a 10month old. I have had long labors hard, and my last 2 were premises  still was not bad my body just got tried. I would and will do it again my husband wants a boy LOL as we have ALL girls. When I was 16 and preg. I also heared  many bad crazy scary things about labor but I was very shocked on how I really did handle it. Stay strong you will do great! Have the baby's dad or your mom some one you can feel comfortable with and really help you be there. I had my husband all 4 times and just him, didn't want others butting in so to speak. It was clam and very relaxing well as much as it can get. Have people come visit after you have had your baby and are in a better relaxed mood, so you all can enjoy the gift you just got. Being a young mom is great hard very, I am 24, married an 4 kids. Stay at home mom. And I still get crap from people and the looks there are going to be the ones that look down on you keep your head up! Its going to be fun and so rewarding I promise! Good luck to you hun 

  • I'm new also and would love any advice anyone can give.  I'm not scared yet.. I'm 6 weeks barely and I absolutely love children.  The only thing that will be difficult is that the guy I was dating bailed on me so I'll be doing this without a significant other.  He wants to be their only monetarily which is fine.  We were not in love, and I've known him for a very long time.  He just all of a sudden turned and we are now not speaking. I've asked him not to be at any of the doctor visits and he's okay with it.  Anyway any advice on how to keep my stress levels down would be great. I've been craving chocolate and ice cream which is odd.  I don't do dairy but take a pill which has been approved by the doctor. 

  • Aloutmart77-welcome to the boards and congrats on your pregnancy! I'm sorry to hear about the dad but it sounds like you have things under control and have good boundaries in place for what his involvement will be. My suggestion would be to recruit people to be your support people during this pregnancy. Someone who regularly does come to doctor appointments with you and people who you can call if you need some extra help. I was suggesting a doula to Monique...they are awesome support people and labor coaches when you are in the hospital. Check your area to see if you could get one. Also, just develop some good habits like long walks, bubble baths, good books, etc that you can turn to when you need to just relax. I'm so happy for you - looking forward to getting to know you more!

  • i don't know how much i can help, but i can sympthize (spelling?) lol, anywho, I am VERY nervous about labor and delivery, my doctor says my bones are in a good place to delivery naturally and I don't want to have a c-section if i don't need one. My sister had a hard time recovering after both of her c-sections. I want a medicated birth, but i don't want to be asleep during all of it, i want to experience some of my child's birth. i'm 14 weeks right now and so i have a while to go before i have to deliver. i'm still scared though!

  • :) same here girl . . SUPER... SUPER.... SUPER.. nervous . . .