Pregnancy Through The Looking Glass

  • As a dad, my view of the pregnancy was somewhat different. Outside looking in comes with the upside of no morning sickness, no problems sleeping, etc. It also has its drawbacks however, for example in my case bonding took longer (my wife bonded in womb, while I didn’t feel that same connection until after the birth). What side of the pregnancy were you on, and how did it affect your relationship? Both with your child and with your significant other?

  • I just hit six months pregnant and have found myself seeming to feel and identify with my child. My significant other seems to use caring for me as a way to help increase his bond. Touching my belly a lot, reading to our child, talking to it. We've spent a lot of time talking about how each of us feel and me asking for his help and reminding him of his value. The pregnancy has made us question our relationship a lot since there is no divorce from children (which was not a bad thing).
  • preggycher, I think it is great that your husband is so involved. It is also great that you are reminding him of his value, because Daddies sometimes get overlooked during pregnancy.

    I wish that my husband had been more hands on during pregnancy. He never really made a fuss over me like I thought he would. He actually slept on the cough during most of my labor! However, he is such an involved, hands on dad. I think it just wasn't real to him until they arrived.

  • My baby girl was concieved via IVF, after 8 years of trying to get preggo.  In the beginning my hubby was very involved...going to all my appointments and such.  By the end of my pregnancy, I was very ill with preeclampsia and wasn't really able to do a whole lot and didn't feel very good.  He and I had a real emotional detachment during the last couple of months of pregnancy, during her birth and during the first 8 weeks of having her at home.  Now that I have returned to work ( I worked until the day she was born) we have started to mend our relationship somewhat and he has been a big help with taking care of her.  We alternate nights getting up with her and I think this has made his bond with the baby stronger.  Honestly, I am struggling with some resentment from his lack of "concern" during that other time when things weren't so good.  I was a very sick and had to go back into the hospital when my baby was 10 days old with life threatening complications from the preeclampsia and my hubby made me feel like I was putting him out.  I'm glad we made it through that time but it makes me never want to be preggo again.  

     

  • ledonald8, I am so sorry! That has to really hurt. Have you talked with your husband about this? Does he know how he made you feel?

  • Not to ignore Ledonald8's comments and follow ups, but I do want to know more about your experience as a dad Strongdad. What was it like for you during the pregnancy, her mood swings, was there something you wish was said to you to help you through the process. I look for men responses all over the place and hardly find any. Moms: did the fathers say anything that stuck?

  • At other times I felt very jealous. My wife was so connected to our daughter and focused on her to the exclusion of all else. But at times I don't feel I did enough during the pregnancy... I was out of work for a short part, which will put stress on many relationships that don't have a pregnancy to consider as well. Ultimately it had it's up and it's downs but we came through it together and have a beautiful girl for our efforts.