C section anxiety

  • This is my first pregnancy, I'm nearly 38 weeks, and I just found out on Monday that my baby is breech. I went to the hospital and had the the cephalic external version done, but she didn't budge. The entire time I've been planning on a natural, drug free delivery, and now I'm scheduled for a cesarean in 11 days. The baby is really healthy, and I know this is what has to be done, but I can't help feeling like a failure. 97% of babies get the signal to go head down, so if there's nothing wrong with her, why didn't she figure it out? I've done everything right the whole time I've been pregnant, and it just seems so unfair that in one appointment, the delivery I was looking forward to was taken away from me. I feel cheated, and I'm terrified of having major abdominal surgery. I'm sure I'll get over it when I see her, but I can't help but feel sorry for myself while I sit at home all day, knowing there's nothing I can do. I just wondered if there was anyone else who felt like that before a c section, because I'm feeling pretty guilty right now. Thanks.
  • There is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty about having a c-section. A baby being breech is a pretty common occurrence and it sounds like your doctor tried all she could to avoid surgery. You did nothing wrong and c-sections are very safe. You'll be awake the whole time and still be able to experience the birth of your child.

    I can understand your feelings of being cheated by not being able to have the delivery you wanted, but unfortunately this will most likely be the first many such instances where you thought things were going to be one way and reality has other plans. Those best laid plans tend to go out the window when you have a baby or toddler in tow.

    You're not a failure. You're human. And when all is said and done, your baby won't care how she's born, just as long as she is.

    Best of luck!

  • well this is going to be my fourth c-section. when i was pregnant the first i was ready for a vaginal birth but after 24hrs in labor they told my i had to have an emergency c-section and i was devasted after i had my daughter i felt so bad that i didnt have a vaginal birth it does feel like your missing out but when i was pregnant with my second child and i knew that i had to have another c-section i got over it. and this is going to be my fourth section. im 32 weeks pregnant now. but dont feel bad. as long as your baby goes out healthy and prefect that's all you should be worried about. it is kinda terrifying to go in and have surgery but after a month goes by you forget about it. best wishes to you and your new bundle of joy

  • I agree with the other ladies on here.  I went through a normal pregnancy (up to the weekend before I had my first), when I started having swelling issues.  I was put into the hospital to induce.  All day my blood pressure kept going higher and higher and finally after being in the hospital almost 24 hours, I had to have an emergency c-section. I was scared.  But, when it was over, I  had a beautiful baby. 

    I have had two other children, the last one in Feb.  I knew that I had to have c-sections for those as well.  But, honestly, after the first one, you know what to expect and it's not as scary and the recovery time is faster after the first surgery. 

    It is NOT your fault.  Just enjoy the time you will have with your baby. :)



  • I am sorry that you have to have a C-section and I know it is not what you wanted to do. That being said, I will say that nothing ever goes according to plan....no matter what. I am pregnant with my 4th child and each delivery was unique and not at all what I expected. She still may surprise you and turn into position, but even if she doesn't....you can rest assured knowing that you did everything possible to ensure a healthy and safe delivery. Once you see her beautiful face.....you won't care how she arrived!!!

  • If I can relate to anyone you are it.  My whole pregnancy I was planning the birth.  Walking labor was my plan as long as I could.  My mom had pre-eclampsia with all 4 of us and I was figuring I would go the same route.  I had plans for bed rest, and bought all kinds of things to keep me occupied.  To my surprise at one appointment they admitted me with pre-eclampsia. 4 days later I was delivered by emergency c-section. I had fears of a catheter, epidural and the surgery. However somehow I remained calm.  The catheter, didn't feel it, the epidural, piece of cake and the surgery, well lets just say the next day I was walking on motrin and when they asked about pain, only when I went from lying down to sitting and on a scale of 1-10 it was only a 4. Like you, I had everything taken away.  I didn't feel labor or my water breaking and looking back to that magical day 4 months ago, it happened so fast I have to have other people fill in the blanks for me.  I was wrapped up in my 3lb 1oz munchkin in the nicu.  Nothing matters once your babe is here with good health.  No two birthing experiences are the same.  How boring if they were. Good Luck and let us know how you are doing.

  • I too was planning this wonderful birth that would go smooth like my pregnancy. My boy decided to be 4 days late, that has a lot of emotions rolled up in it too. Being late is not fun. Then we got to the hospital and things were going good I was breathing through the pain. I have huge anxiety over needles, the unknown, and not being able to feel parts of my body. It turns out I opted for epidural after sitting in a relaxing bath and having some extreme contractions. The epidural took 3 tries, but ooohh it was a relief. The doc came and checked me, at this point I was shaking like a leaf still having to breath through every contraction. I had a bulging water sack, once it was broke my labor progressed so fast. Then another unplanned bump in the road, I started to get a fever and the baby and I were experiencing high blood pressure and heart rates. I was like are you serious in 3 hours I progressed from 4cm to 8 1/2 and he is stuck. Need less to say I was rushed to c-sec. My fear got the best of me and I hyperventalated creating numbness in my arms and fingers. This meant I couldn't touch my son when he was pulled from my belly. Now I look back at it all and laugh at the singing my husband and I did to keep me calm in the surgery room. Just try to keep in mind your baby is coming at the end, and once you can touch/see them it is all worth it.
  • Use this experience as a learning opportunity that when it comes to children, be prepared for changes and curveballs. Many new moms prefer to give birth vaginally, while other mothers prefer the C-section route. Childbirth can be scary in and of itself, but when you have mentally prepared yourself and finally begin to feel comfortable with the vaginal delivery process, hearing the news that you now require a C-section can be disheartening. You may feel strongly about a vaginal birth, but you are not at fault and every birth is different. Pregnancy books and childbirth classes tell you to "prepare, prepare, prepare!," but no one can prepare you for a change like this. Giving birth brings about an array of emotions and when you have your heart set on something, any alteration can provoke feelings of anxiety and guilt. This is not abnormal. Look on the brightside: your baby is healthy, you will be holding your child in your arms very soon, and you are aware of the C-section beforehand and not in an emergency situation. I am expecting my first child in March and I am hoping to give birth vaginally, but I have to consider the possibility of a C-section. Having any kind of surgery is frightening, but the doctors will give you appropriate medication so you will be pain-free. Remember that this procedure is performed every single day! You will feel sore after surgery and the recovery may take a bit longer, so it's a good idea to arrange for a family member to stay with you a few days after the baby is born so that you can rest as much as possible. As the others in this posting said, the end result is the same: a beautiful bundle of joy. Once you see your infant's face for the first time, everything will fall into place and all your feelings of guilt will be forgotten along with the C-section! Let us know how everything turns out! You'll be fine! Keep your head up! Congratulations!
  • I too, found out a few weeks ago that because of my past medical history, my doctor thinks it's safest to deliver c-section. Much like you, I was planning on having a natural childbirth. I am really torn, I dont want to have a major surgery, my husband is in a wheelchair and because of that, I have many other responsibilities that I will not be able to carry out after a c-section. On the other hand, the chances of any complications during the birth is greatly diminished. The doctors are much more in control. I hope you have a supportive family and extended family like I do to help you out during this time.


  • JMisner,

    Talk to your doctor about your concerns and be sure that he or she is absolutely certain that a c-section is what is best for you and the baby. It is possible that she may let you try a vaginal delivery and then opt to do a c-section if necessary. Other than that, rest assured that while recovery from a c-section is a bit longer, it is not necessarily going to keep you down for very long. Let us know how it goes.

  • Both our babies were delivered via c-section, and my wife (against her doc's orders) was up and around rather quickly. She had some significant pain, but she was able to tend to her motherly duties more quickly than I anticipated ( might have something to do with my shortcomings in filling in for her!). The bottom line is it is not worth dwelling on what you wanted your birth to be... the only important things now is the safe delivery of your baby and you.

  • i just had my second daughter 2 months ago via c section, my first had to be a c section because of toximia and other health problems, i also wanted to go natural,but didn't, yes it is major surgury, but it's really not that bad, i did feel like crap when the doctor told me that i had to have a c section, but i knew that it was better for both me and for the baby, she came out healthy, and screaming, but trust me it's really not that bad, i'm sure that u'll be ok, and that the baby will be ok,

  • With my first pregnancy I was induced and went through 12 hours of labor and was basically stuck at 7cm. They told me that I needed a c-sectiion at after all of that and being so tired I didnt care... I was ready to get it over with. This time now I have 9 months to think about it and it makes me scared and nervous. I will be having a schedule c-section at 39 weeks. I am worried mostly about the spinal and the IV. I get parnoid that when they ask me if I am numb here and I say yes that I really am not and they start cutting me open... I was worried about that last time too and was worried about moving too much or wrong to hurt myself and the cut area.... Now that I am a very active 5 year old, she will be almost 6 when the baby comes that how am I gonna just be able to take it easy...

  • i may be different from other mothers who reply. i ASKED my doctor for a c-section. i have had struggles with endometriosis and just wanted to do something i felt i could control. i was schedule 2 days before my due date, but my son decided to come 10 days early. the dr made me wait until i was in full labor (contractions 5-1-1) until i could go to the hospital and get the show on the road. and one of the reasons i chose a c-section was to avoid labor!! but, i went in for the surgery and everything went wonderfully. my son Chael Grant-Danger was born healthy and strong. i recovered wonderfully as well. was up and walking in 12 hours, and went home after only 4 days. i felt good enough within a week to do the normal household things...and one other thing....i saw some of the moms who gave natural birth, and the sitting down thing looked PAINFUL! i was glad to only have to deal with the pain of the incision, which was easily managed. so i hope your experience was just as good as mine. even if it wasnt exactly what you wanted.

  • Hope all went well with your delievery. I too had an emergency c-section in Sept. I was planning on a nice natural delievery and ended up with severe pre-eclampysia. It was a horrible experience and I felt cheated and upset. I did not even get to spend time with my new baby once she was born. I did not get to hold her until 2 days after her delivery. I just know that I am not the only one that has gone thru this and I cried several times missing that opportunity. It is unfair, but just think you will have a healhty baby just like I did!