1st time mom-to-be, high risk, going crazy!!!

  • I am 31 and about to become a mommie!! This will be my first pregnancy and I could not be more excited...however I am about to burst with so much worry it's NOT funny! My little sis just had her first baby (girl-named Kelbie) almost four months ago...so it turns out we were both pregnant at the same time only we didn't know it...why? cause I did not know I was pregnant!!! I just found out two weeks ago and four days after that I found out through ultrasound that I was 18 weeks!! That was 2weeks ago. In 4 hours I go for my first real prenatal exam... I.E pap, breast exam etc. I have already been put on high risk because I am over weight and have a thyroid problem and have histories in my family including my sis just have issues with her plalettes dropping to 5,200 out of 140,000 in labor. So I am worried and my cup is running over!!! I just moved away from my mom and sis three months ago..so they are not here.. I am now is this HUGE place called Chicago!! and I have not even been able to get into my new career to which I just spent the last year in school for...cosmetology!! SO>>>how am I going to take care of this little miracle???? My boyfriend is fabulous, could not be happier even through he himself is worried, I can't stop crying about EVERYTHING!!! I now signing up for assistance even though I worked my ENTIRE LIFE and I only took this last year off to go BACK to school for YET another degree/certificate. I dont' know what questions to ask anymore and what are me just being to paranoid. I have read site after site and book after book....but feel like my head is going to spin and pop off at any moment!! I am sorry if I have written something wrong I am just going crazy and don't know where else to yell what is in my head...If any one reads this and has any pointers I would GREATLY appreciate them...but please don't write me anything else of myth vs fact to worry about because I just don't think I can take anymore...I thought this was supposed to be the best thing in the world to happen to me and while I still believe this to be true I have not found a way to stop worrying and just enjoy my first and possibly only chance to be a mommie... thank you for listening to rant.

  • hey, i just signed up for this site and yours was the first thing i read. i really signed up for the coupons but anyway here i am answering you.

    i was high risk due to my age -44- and my weight. i had two other kids - all by c-section. my son was born completely healthy in july - a little early because of me, not him. now i get to go by joemamma on web sites.

    here are things to get you through:

    1- many people come through high risk pregnancies great. 

    2- doctors do watch high risk pregnancies closely so that's good - you'll get to know your doc and he/she you. if problems arise my guess is that they'll be less surprised and anticipate them.

    3 - the most important thing is to find a doctor you can have a rapport with. my last doc was awesome, kind and not part of huge practice, so i saw him or his partner every time. they sent me to a specialist for things but even the nurses were friendly. i actually looked forward to my annual exam they were so nice there.

    4 - it's ok not have all the answers or questions. when you think of them, don't just rush  to the web, write them down for your next visit.

    5- when you are really stressed. just go look at baby anf toddler  clothes. dream a little. you don't have to buy

  • The best thing you can do is to keep the lines of communication open with your doctor. Let him know how anxious you are and let him help you through it. Also, talk with your mom and sister on a regular basis and establish a great support system---even if it is long distance. If you really feel worried, make sure you let your doctor know immediately. A baby is a wonderful blessing but it can be overwhelming if it was unexpected. Read up on what to expect during the pregnancy and find out about resources in your community that may be able to help with formula, diapers etc...good luck

  • I gave birth to my 1st child 2 months ago.  I am 32 and was also high risk due to diabetes.  What an experience.  I found myself at the doctor more frequently than I wanted to be and being connected to monitors so they could watch over the baby.  I actually lost weight following the doctors diet/blood sugar control plan.  Relax....your doctor will do the same.  Just do what he recommends and you and your baby will be fine.  Don't miss any appointments.  You are already at the half way mark.  God Bless. 

  • I just had my first child at 34, I was also high risk on about 3 counts.. High blood pressure being one  and a huge fibroid tumor being a second, among a few others, such as being overweight.  I can say this, try, i know its difficult, try and stay positive, if you see a positive outcome, it is easier to reach a positive end.  Talk to your doctor, let him/her know how concerned you are, talk to your mother and sister, and fill your boyfreind in on your concerns.  Hospitals have support systems, so turn to them as well.  DO NOT listen to women's horror stories.  anytime someone started with a pregnancy horror story I told them to stop and change the subject.  To stay close to Mom and Sis, get on skype.   My husband was absent for the whole pregnancy, our son is 2 months and he still isnt with us, Skype was and is a life saver for us.  Maybe it will help you as well. 

    they key in all this is to talk to your doctor openly and honestly about your concerns.  write them down so you dont forget, and when it comes to internet research on medical stuff, take it as informational, not that it absolutely pertains to you and that will be your case. 

    Good Luck to you!!!


  • I wanted to thank everyone for being being very up lifting! I am in the process of switching doctors now. As of yesterday's doc visit I am now, overweight, thyroid not working, diabetic (need insulin) and high blood pressure lol. Now I just want to know if insulin comes in a pill form cause I really hate needles. I am going to stay focused on the good. I believe the doctors that I am going to see tomorrow as well as the 2nd level ultrasound will do me some good to calm down some. I will now be seeing a specialist for high risk pregnancies and it is attached to the hospital it self that I would be delivering at as well as a well known in Chicago land. I feel so silly some times about being so upset, seeing as I have been a babysitter since I was 14 and I was even a nanny for almost 2 years in my early twenties. I have worked with physically and mentally disabled children since I was about 15 and yet now that I am about to be a mom I am in panic mode lol. As suggested I have started looking at baby clothes and places I want to show my little one. Things I hope to teach him or her (hopefully we find out tomorrow girl or boy). My boyfriend continues to support and try his best to help, right down to immediately getting online last night to find recipes for diabetics that would help with my sweet tooth :). I am happy that I got to get my thoughts out with my first post and I appreciate all the good wishes and great advice :)

    I thank you all from the bottom of  my heart!

  • Sorry sunshinecj, but insulin does not come in an oral form.  Reason being it is a protein, and if taken orally it will be digested rendering it useless.  You'll have to inject your insulin, but you need to keep you and your baby healthy (you only get one chance!)

    Good Luck

  • I had three high risk pregnancies due to diabetes.  My doctor put me on Glyburide during each pregnancy, a pill I took every night.  It worked for me and I didn't have to move onto the shots.  However, I did have to do finger sticks to check my blood sugar 4 times a day.  They're small and, if you learn to do it right, won't hurt at all. I went to my regular OB twice a week and my high risk specialist (perinatologist) once a week.  The time commitment was huge, but there's a really big payout at the end!  All three of my kids are healthy.

  • Just remember that even if you have to take insulin, you can also help your diabetes out with the proper diet. Try to cut back on the sugar and the processed foods ( they are not good for your baby anyway) and you may see your overall health improving. Try to eat a variety of veggies, fruits, lean meats and whole grains....good luck and I am glad you are here on Strong Moms.

  • I understand you going crazy, I feel that way too. Everyone says just relax enjoy your pregnancy. Impossible!!! I am 30 weeks along and waiting on the 3 hour glucose tolerance test to come back. I haven't gained a lot of weight but am worried about too much weight gain in the last months. I always hear this is when you'll start packing on the weight. Oh goody! With gestational diabetes uncertain cause I failed the 1st one it is always in the back of my mind!  I haven't had that carefree pregnancy either like a lot of people

  • Well today is March 3 (wed). I see my doctor tomorrow and I will be asking for lots of help from him. I am looking for support groups in the area to help me now. I have appreciated everyone helping me here. I have seen better pics of baby to be :). We will be having a BOY!!!! We are looking at names and have it down to about a dozen so that's a LOT better then the three pages we were at before lol. I am now on insulin shots three times a day and testing seven times a day. It seems like a lot trying to take thyroid at fasting then waiting for breakfast and shot and timing lunch and snacks and dinner as well as bed time exactly but we are determined to get this right :). My love took me out for a walk around downtown and then for a movie on Sunday it was a MUCH needed outing. I had my first "crash" dropped down to 62 ...I tested right there on the side walk I was sooooo fuzzy and dizzy and shaky. We had to have lunch a ..ha ha little early but all is well. My little sis bought a few of the big items we need for baby boy and I will get one of them on Friday and the other as soon as it gets to the store :). I have to admit that I guess I never really thought about having to have so much on my plate at one time that I did not fell like I could handle it. I have always been a very responsible adult and always tried to go above and beyond. This is the first time I think I have ever felt like I have not done that. Has any one EVER had to ask for "assistance"... I never thought I would have to but should you ever have to like me....try to remember that you are a good person...they try to take that away from you. I have NEVER felt like SUCH a bad person before. I have helped people my entire life and while YES I am asking for some one to help us while I am unable to work... I will NOT be a "burden to society". I am well educated and have dreams and hopes for myself and my family. I am ONLY in this need right now because I JUST graduated from yet another school (cosmetology) and have not had the chance to start this new career. I am also pregnant by a miracle lol. Every doc said that with out a lot of help I would not get to be a mommy. So while I get that I am not "financially" perfect right now I will NOT give up the chance of my little miracle. This will change with time and I believe it will just make my boyfriend, my little one and myself stronger. I hope that everyone continues to have a safe and happy pregnancy and birth! Thank you you for your support.

  • I am 28 weeks pregnant with my first, a BOY! I am going to be 30 years old in a couple of weeks, perfectly healthy before and during the first 2 trimesters. Then my blood pressure started rising, but only when I'd go to the Dr's office! My Dr is great as is the whole staff. So I'm now considered high risk. Baby's growing well, he was almost 3 lbs and in the 65th percentile. But I still get anxious everytime I go to the Dr. I go about 3 times/wk and if I'm not there being monitored, I'm at the hospital being monitored and taking labs. It's been stressful to say the least. I am now taking it as easy as can be...on bed rest, which has been hard bc I still have so much left to do (ie the baby's room). My boyfriend's been great as has my whole family. I'm really trying to be calm and relax bc I do not want this to lead to preeclampsia...the baby needs more time to grow and develop. I know all the things my Dr's are doing are precautionary and for the best for my litte man and me. And so far my bp is still low enough to keep me and home and him in my womb. My prayers and thoughts go out to all us mommy's! I'm glad I came across this forum because I can relate. I read things online and stress over financial circumstances or future this or that..when reality is, things will fall into place. RIght now we need to focus on our health and our little one's who are so dependant on us. I know it's easier said than done and I'm a hypocrite and hormonal!! And I know it's hard cause it sometimes feels so out of our control. But we have to think positively...we will have healthy babies:)

    Best to you and your peanut!

  • aarroyo1,  Try to drink mostly water, avoid premade meals and canned products. I'm 38 and is my 4th baby another boy and the 1st time I have not gained lots of weight and high blood preassure.  I changed my whole eating habits before getting preggers.  I went natural as much as possible.  I bought chickens this spring to sell eggs and harvest the meat.  My husband says the eggs made me fertile.  I don't belive in the pill and always stayed away from the fertile times.  I became preggers 10-14 days after my peroid.  A bit shocked but I wanted him.  Husband is wrorried about being 65 when the baby turns 20.  But anyhow I don't drink any soda (bad for you, diet or regular),  I don't eat any fast food (too much sodium), I don't eat anything from the store that is in a can, (too much sodium).  Prepare all your meals if possible, drink water, walk everyday if you can (not fast).  If you can do only one thing cut out the soda and drink water.   This will help keep you boold preasure done alot.  Also try reading to your baby it may seen silly but tried reading out loud, hum, sing before you go to the docs,  or just try taking deep breaths several times.  I have learned to relax more than the past preggers.  Still don't bend well!