Baby daddy drama

  • Has anyone else had trouble with baby's daddy?  I am now 20 weeks pregnant and he told me that he collapsed over the weekend while working out of town.  He stated that the doctor told him he needed to try to remain stress free due to his blood pressure being extremely high.  Sure we've bickered but I never thought he was under that much stress.  He wants to part ways for now.  He says he isn't saying it is permanent but needs to get things settled down.  It came as a complete shock!  It would be one thing if I had been mentally prepared to do this alone from the start, but I thought we were going to be a family.  I am trying not to let it get to me as I've been having trouble with contractions already and been in the hospital.  I am just heartbroken.  Everyone says to just forget him, but it isn't easy when you love someone.  I am torn.  I cry alot which I know isn't good, but night time in bed alone is the worst.  It just came out of the blue and I'm trying to deal but am finding it very hard.  Any suggestions to make it through would be very much appreciated.  I am an emotional wreck right now.

  • O honey I am so sorry. I cant give alot of advice but I'm sure there's someone that will be able to give you some. My husband has stress about the pregnancy cuz he wants to be the provider for all of us. We just had a girl last year and now we're expecting our boy. This wasn't planned and I know it adds more stress on him since he's looking for work after being laid off. I know that doesnt help but some guys want to be the provider and a rock and feel like a let down when they're unalbe to do this.
    I know its hard for you know. You've got to try to relax. I know that's SO much easier to say than to do. I am actually staying at my parents house with my daughter while my husband looks for work in another town an hour away. I see him about once a week. It's hard to adjust to an empty bed. It's hard to be on your own. I'm having difficulties in my pregnancy but I'm almost done with mine and that's making me feel better. But trying to relax is hard. Try doing anything that takes your mind off of everything. Reading a book, watching a good movie. Something that just takes you out of reality and puts you into some other place has helped me at times. It sounds like he'll come back around I know it's not what you expected. I'm guessing this is your first and to do the pregnancy by your self and not know when he'll be back around is messing up your vision of how things would go. At this point I would leave the door open to him to come back whenever he wants. It sounds like you truely love him and I hope he sees that. Pregancies arent always easy and neither are relationships. If you can talk to him try to get him to open up to you about his stress. Having an open relationship where you can talk about anything helps alot. It helps when you're not together all the time and it helps after the kids are there too. You can do this on your own but i know when you're thinking that you're going to have him with you and then he's not there it makes it seem like your whole world has turned upside down. For you and the baby try to relax. The people here are very helpful and you can always come to ask questions or just get things off your mind.

  • I have not had trouble but have had family members that have gone through some daddy drama.  There is no way of just forgetting if you are in love.  I hate to say it but your love for him will stay forever now that you two share something.  So, with that said you are going to have to do some mental readjusting.  This may really be a break for him to readjust his thinking about his new family but you have to readjust to what your baby needs and what is going to keep both you and the baby safe.  You have to wake up everyday and go to sleep everynight thinking about what you can do to keep your baby HAPPY. :)  Try reading a book at night about what to expect or the changes that the baby is going or will be going through.  That is the best advice I can give, just get mentally tough, push through and pray.  Even if there was no drama there are lots of things that you are going to have to push yourself through with a new baby and it is totally worth it but definately life changing.  I hope that everything works out and remember if it doesn't; it's all part of the plan.  Just because two people are together raising a child does not always mean that it is the best situation for the child.  One unhappy person is just a detrimental to a child as two. 

    PS surround yourself with family, friends and comedy!

  •  i can relate some what to your situation. to quickly sum up this is my situation: i have been with my husband for 9 years and married for 3 of them. WE finally decided some time ago to have a baby. when i found out and old him i was prego was apparently when all went down hill, however, i didn't know for months that he was "talking" to a female friend and sharing personal things with her instead of me. he even told me that he didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore, if he even loved me and didn't know what he wanted anymore.

     for months we barely talked without fighting and we were never sexual except for two times and the second time was because i begged him for it and i regretted it after. i am now almost 6 months prego and we did go to about 5 therapy sessions together but that has stopped now. he was totally against the whole idea of therapy but went for me only he said. he even went to the extreme of telling me before a therapy session one day that he wanted a legal seperation. by the time we had our next session the following week he was saying that he knows what he wants and its me and our child. he's even gotten started on the baby room.

     my husband is older then me by about 10 years (he's 40) and i truly hope it was just the fear of having a child and the responsibility of a child plus a midlife crisis that caused all this to happen. i still have a hard time trusting him and i check anything of his that i can. its hard not to live in fear of him changing his mind again because he says he can't explain his change of heart and that i should just go with it. i want my family more then anything and trust me have been fighting so hard for months for it. to go through something like this while you are pregnant is the worst thing i can imagine. i wish that i can say that i have enjoyed my first pregnancy but i can't say that without knowing that some of it is a lie. i had even told him that whether with him or not in the future i don't know if i would want more children due to the fear of being treated like this again.

     he now says he loves me ( usually after i have said it)  and we have been sexual twice in the last week. i know he's trying but its not easy for either of us, its a day to day process. but i love my husband and will do what i can to save our marriage. some of my family knows like my parents and sister and his parents but they have not been negative which is great. they all wanna see us work it out. i pray all the time for help and support through this rough time and trust me i am not a religious person but its amazing what one will do when they need help. i can not tell you that this is going to be easy cuz lord knows its been rough for me but do whats best for you and your baby. for me it was fighting for my family as a whole and i continue that everyday. i wish you the best of luck through this time!

  • Hi. Im 33 weeks prego, and I have daddy dreama. I know exactly how you feel right now, and Im so sorry. My situation is alittle diffrent, and worst. The father of my son, supported and was there for me only the first 3 months of my pregnancy. when I was about 20 weeks we completely stopped talking.. He totaly ditched me. I was soo sad, and confused by his actions. and one day out of the blue he txt me telling me he met someone else, and got married. I was in shock for a moment there.. It was really hard. Up to now no one in my family knows this, and I just continue saying were over, but that he will be there for our son, or atleast tells me he will... I dont want him back. I just want to be happy with my son. I know hes not man enough for me, and Im glad it happend now, and not later when the baby is here to witness this mess... Please look forward, and look at this like a blessing. Think possitive!!! Do it for your baby, he needs you more than anything, and you cant let a jerk ruin this for you... One day these bad dads, will regret it, but ull have peace of mind knowing you got through all this without him, and for your son. BEST WISHES!!!!