So scared

  • Hello all, So at six and a half weeks my husband and I went to our first prenantal appointment. THERE WAS TWO HEART BEATS! AHHH! We are due sometime April. But here is the thing. Last year on mothers day I had a misscarrige. And I am so scared of having another one. Its preventing me from being excited that we finaiily concieves again. You see I was told we were unable to concieve at all. And now we did...and I just dont want to get to excited so I dont crash if something does happen. My poor husband wants to start getting things ready NOW and I wont let him. I am only 8 weeks. I dont think he quite understands. Has enyone been through this and if so..how did you cope? Thanks so much!

  • I haven't been through what you have, but I totally understand how you feel. My wife gets mad at me because I don't even want to consider names until she is close to her due date (we have two girls and we chose their names in the hospital which didn't make her happy!). Now we are expecting our third and I still don't want to jinx anything. As always, communication is the key. Explain to your husband exactly how you feel and why, and let him know you need some time.

  • Congrats and your feelings are perfectly normal. I suffered 2 miscarriages both 2nd trimesters which is considered the safety zone and I was extremely nervous with my last pregnancy as well as this one. You will find especially when it's around the time of your last loss you will get extremely nervous as well. I am now 35 weeks, excited, and still nervous. I hadn't told many people and at work no one knew, thankfully I carried small. They didn't find out till I was between 6-6 1/2 months pregnant and I had to restrict some of my hours and more and more people started asking and of course I said yes. It's been a struggle and I'm scared to take anything. Right now I am suffering badly from my allergies and although told benadryl and claritin are safe I refuse since I have made it this far should I take 1 of those pills and anything happens I will blame myself for making it this far. I've already had my shower and started the nursery. We have 1 dresser and waiting on the armoire and crib. I thank God everyday that she is here with me. I refrain from saying "I can't wait for her to get here/meet her" like all of my friends and family in fear I will jinx myself and something will go wrong. It's hard to embrace a new life/lives when you have suffered a loss/losses. My husband is also still worried and I have been taken out of work since mid-July since I'm considered high risk. I start these weekly stress tests at the hospital in l&d in about a week that will be done weekly and last an hour. I'm sure you will/are considered high risk due to the twins which are a blessing. Try and think about what you we're told to be the impossible and now you are blessed with twins. Trust me I know totally how you feel as do many women that have been in your shoes. If I lose/lost this pregnancy I can't say that I would have the strength to try again. I want another child but I don't know how prepared mentally I would be. So far you are early on and explain to your husband he definitely doesn't want to start in the 1st trimester. You can understand he is as excited as you are for this new blessing he just wants to share it with the world and although you are equally excited it will definitely take time. Once I started feeling movement it helped to ease my mind a little because otherwise I was nervous until each appointment waiting to hear a heartbeat and scared to look at the machine until I heard or or my doc would say see it. 1 of my miscarriages resulted in no heart beat at 16 weeks so that was one of my biggest fears scared to see nothing there. Now as she grows each day I have more and more faith and thank God for everyday she is here. Best of luck and try to take it as easy as possible although this is much easier said than done.

  • It is natural to be a little "cautiously optimistic" after experiencing a loss. Make sure you talk to your husband and let him know that you are uneasy about getting too "gung ho" until it gets closer to your due date. I am sure that he will understand and hold off on all the planning. If he still wants to plan for things, have him do things like the finances, budgeting, etc...and hold off on baby planning for a few more months. Talk to your doctor and make sure you let him know of your anxieties so he can reassure you about this pregnancy. Remember....Every pregnancy is different. Try not to compare your "miscarriage" with this one...and enjoy each and every day. Good luck and welcome to Strong Moms.