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The first few months with a new baby can be more than a little overwhelming. You find yourself wondering things like: Will I ever sleep again? Is this normal? How do I make my baby stop crying? For every question you have, there are three times as many friends and family members who want to give you answers. While there is definitely not an advice shortage for new parents, really good advice is much less common. The best advice I ever received was to put my husband first (much easier said than done) and make couple time no matter how tired or busy we are (even more difficult).
1. What is the worst parenting advice you have ever received?
2. What is the best parenting advice you have ever received?
3. What advice do you give new parents?
"You're going to spoil him!". That was the worst parenting advice I've received. I've had people tell me to "let the baby cry" and "don't pick him up too much" or "don't hold him too much". As a mom of a mere 7 weeks, I can't get enough of my new son. I want to pick him up every time he whimpers. I want to hold him and touch him as much as I can! I think picking him up when he cries lets him know that I'm always going to be there for him. Holding him and loving him lets him know he's safe. So my best parenting advice is to hold your baby as much as you want. Love them every minute. Indulge yourself in the feel of their skin. And don't question it! Enjoy every minute of today with your baby. The next chapter will be here soon enough.
I could not agree with you more. You said that better than I ever could have.
To first-time parents: relax and do what comes naturally. I've been a mom for going on 10 years and it never amazes me how nervous new parents get about so many little things. The more you do it, the better you'll get. But chances are, you will make mistakes and that's okay. Live, learn and then move on. Relying on your instincts will help you through, and when in doubt, ask mom, a friend or your doctor.
The best I've recieved was probably "you'll figure it out, don't worry too much." - I've found I have to learn on the fly for many situations; books just cant cover everything the world will throw at you. But in the end we always get through an issue, and getting too worked up never helps to solve it faster.
The worst "it's not so bad for them to have a little (insert food I don't want them eating)." - True that's not really advice, but it bugs me sooo much when someone tries to push their ideas ahead of how I want to raise my child. It's like they don't realize I am her parent, not them.
My advice would be - dont let others tell you how to raise your child, each parent knows more about their children than anyone else. After all we spend the most time with them ;)
I'M A FIRST TIME MOMMY! MY NEWBORN IS 3 MONTHS. I THINK FOR MOST OF MY PREGNANCY I GOT A LOT OF ADVICE. THE WORST WAS..."DON'T SPOIL HIM". IF I DO OR DON'T, THAT'S NOBODY'S BUSSINESS AND THAT WAS MY RESPONSE TO MY FAMILY, FRIENDS AND EVEN STRANGERS THAT CAME UP TO ME WITH THAT "LINE". I WANT TO GIVE MY SON AS MUCH AS I CAN, SINCE I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. I DON'T THINK I SPOIL HIM, I JUST BUY HIM A LOT OF THINGS, BUT WHEN THAT'S WHEN I HAVE MONEY. THE BEST ADVICE IS THAT "THE SWING BECOMES YOUR BEST FRIEND" AND IT SURE HAS. I RECEIVED A CRADLE SWING AND IT'S AWSOME. IT SWINGS SIDE TO SIDE AND FRONT TO BACK. NOW, THE BEST ADVICE I GIVE PARENTS IS TO...ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS!
I agree with StrongDad that the best advice I got was along the lines of "you'll figure it out/ the baby will let you know"
The worst advice was.... "Cut their fingernails while they are napping/sleeping". This was not really too bad considering it was the worst advice I ever got (guess I must be lucky having good friends & family!). My reaction to this advice is.. What, like I don't have anything else to do while the baby naps?! Personally, I would far rather spend 15 mins doing it while baby is awake than 5 while he's asleep and risk waking him. I do admit that this 'worst advice' would work if my baby really didn't tolerate nail trimming, though.
Advice to give new parents.... I agree with most other posts that you should rely on your own ideas/instincts. I found it helpful to mentally keep new ideas from others 'on board' in my head, as some of them are very useful, but a couple of times I regretted acting on advice immediately and wished I had just thought about it or postponed the decision a bit more. I'd also recommend that you remind yourself that you are doing a good job.
The best parenting advice that I ever received was actually part of the baby shower I had with my daughter. Part of it was having everybody right down their advice and tips to me as a new mother. The only advice I remember from all of that was "Relax, and regardless of whatever advice everybody else gives you remember to do your own thing" I think that this is so true. With all the advice that you get from everybody there is no way that you can do it all. In the end you have to rely on your own skills and instincts and form your own parenting style.
The worst advice that I ever got was actually in regards to pregnancy. I started telling some of the people at work between 8-10 weeks and there was one guy that said, "Just don't go around telling too many people yet, you never know what might happen." I believe he was refering to a possible miscarriage and that was the last thing I needed to hear. This is my 3rd pregnancy, I had one that ended in a miscarriage and one that ended in a healthy baby. After having a miscarriage, I agree that it's best to wait to buy A LOT of baby items, but I don't believe in waiting to tell people. I know that not everybody is the same, but if I did lose a baby I would rather have people understand the situation than to be asking me ton of questions about why I was depressed or why I got extra time off work.
My best advice is what so many others, including the person from my shower said, you should rely on your own instincts and do your own thing. I have a cousin that thinks she knows everything about everything, especially parenting. She's telling me to take my fiance to court for child support "just in case" and everything else. He already helps pay bills and we're planning on getting married within the next year so I don't see a need, it'll just make things harder between us. Anyway, in cases like this I take the advice with a grain of salt and do what I think is best!
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