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Those of you that recently had their babies... Have you ever had the feeling that you don't want anyone to hold your baby. Those mements when you feel like those hens that doesn't want anyone to touch her chicks. I mean, those unpredictibles women guests that ask for permission to lift your baby from the crib, then they star huging, kissing, squeezing and touching her from head to toe! You finally find an excuse like... oh, i have to change her diaper, or it is time to feed her or something like that just to have your baby back. Sometimes i feel like that... I don't know if that is a bad feeling, but I don't want to be envious, but that is something I can't avoid. Its good to know that many people love your baby, maybe it could be depression?? What is your opinion?
Oh, I think you are quite normal. It's that protective motherly instinct in you wanting to make sure your baby is safe and healthy. There were certainly times when I'd tell people I needed to go nurse my son just so I could have him back and have a quiet moment with him. On the other hand, don't be afraid to tell people something like - "This isn't a good time right now - Id like her to just be able to rest". They should respect your decision.
I think its perfectly normal reaction. I have been the same way at times. Now that I am back at work I even find myself feeling that way in the evenings when my husband is holding our daughter. I know she needs "daddy time" as much as she needs "mommy time" so I usually find something else to focus on (making dinner, calling family, etc.) so they can have their bonding time.
Thanks for your comprehension, now i donr feel so guilty.
I can understand exactly... I can't even bring myself to allow my fiance to watch our daughter by himself let alone other people. It think my mom and sister are the only people i have ever trusted her care to with out my presence. maybe it'll calm down when she's older.
Brinny, that happened to me too. But for me, i feel more comfortable to let my husband watching the babies than my mother in law... I don't know why!!! I think that I would be more comfortable with my mother, but unfortunately my mother doesn't live here, she lives in mexico... I haven't seen her a long time ago, she missed all my pregnancy, my delivery and my bay is already one month old, i miss her a lot. Well, back to my baby... like you said, maybe it will be easier when she gets older (maybe).
well my mom did manage to raise three kids and keep them alive, healthy, and not abused... So I trust her... My sister has been working with children and babies for a very long time and honestly is better with my daughter than I am I'm sad to say... But she does have WAY more experience. My fiance on the other hand becomes very agitated very quickly when she gets upset. He as ZERO patience for it and more often than not she is a monster to handle don't let her cute little face fool you. So I figure for now it's best if I just do the care taking until she gets older and can tell her dad what's wrong vs him having to guess and try to fix it.
Close family members are one thing, but it has been my experience that at times, total strangers at the supermarket will ask to pick up and/or hold the baby. Even if it is a sweet looking old lady who seems to mean no harm, this is an inappropriate request and you should never let a stranger have contact with your baby.
I think that for the most part it is completely normal and you should rely on your instincts to protect your child. However, with my first child I suffered from post-partum depression and could not let anyone except my husband and my mom watch the baby without feeling extreme anxiety. This caused lots of tension with my in-laws which only increased my depression. She lived in the BabyBjorn carrier whenever people were around or we went out to prevent people from touching her and I frequently took her to our room to nurse whenever people came over and stayed there until they left. Now after having my second baby, I can see how extreme were the emotions I was dealing with. It is important to ask for help if you have concerns- talk to your baby's doctor and they will be able to reassure you if what you are feeling is typical or possibly depression. And if they say you are fine, but you just don't feel right, ask again or find a friend who has dealt with PPD.
thanks laoshimama and everyone, now i know im not the only one with this feelings!!
Prisy00, thank you and every other mother that provided comments. My wife doesn't want to share our triplets (2 boys and girl) with anyone. Sometimes, I feel like I only get to hold one is, because we have multiples. She has yet to allow me to go anywhere alone with them or just one. We have argued about this many times, because I thought she was overprotective and not trusting me. Now I see it's normal. Unfortunately, I am away from them right now, because duty calls.
I feel the same way! My mother-in-law has walked away with my son and I felt like I had to chase her around for 15 minutes to get him back. She wouldn't let me feed him, change him or put him to sleep even though he was fussy. Finally my husband had to come get him so that I could have our son back.
I am so glad to see that this has been a "hot topic" and that, just as prisy00 brought to light-none of you are alone in your feelings or experiences! Keep posting, the support is awesome!
prisy00, me too...I did not trust other people to watch over my baby I only trust my husband, my mother and my father but other than that I don't know maybe on my brother and sister also but on other people I did not trust them at all. I had my experience before with my baby sitter, but my baby keeps on crying I don't know what she did that makes my baby cry and so much afraid. After that I did not allow others to watch over my baby. Maybe soon when they grow up and knows how to protect themselves as well over the situations.
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