Fighting

  • My daughter is 10 months old and she has started to fight. I first notice the behavior when she was ill and her fever was over 100. I thought she was not feeling well and irritated. But in the last four weeks it has gotten worse. When she is sleepy or has over exerted herself, she begins to slap anyone in her way. I do not believe in spanking so I am requesting an alternative. Can anyone help?????

  • My sister used to work in a daycare and she says that when a child hits you you should say oooowww that hurt... you shouldn't hit mommy or whatever you are to that child. she said that it helps them realize that what they did hurt you and helps them not want to do that particular thing... other than that time out is all i can think of, although i'm not sure what age is appropriate to start doing time out. I'm sorry I can't be of much help, but i am eager to hear the replies. My daughter has always been feisty (even in the womb), but lately she's been swinging her left hand around. I'm not sure if it's just her realizing she has this ability and testing it or what, but sometimes she manages to hit us and i don't want it turning into a habit. 

  • I think it's really important to think about how you are going to set limits around behavior and then to start now with it and be consistent. You certainly can do time outs and I've heard a rule of 1 minute per year of age.  I agree that letting her know that she is hurting (in a very simple way) is a good idea.  Also LOTS of positive reinforcement when she is behaving well.

    -Jess

  • What you could do is take her hand and just lightly tap the top of it to get her attention.  I would then get on her level and look her in the eyes and tell her in a lower voice that we do not hit and that it hurts people.  Speak on her level but let her know you are not joking and be consistent with it.  Crazy enough the test us because they want to see if we care.  I did this with mine and it works.  A lot of times you just have to test and see what will get them to listen.  It is different for each child.  One of mine loves timeout because he loves to day dream and it is no big deal to him.  My daughter hates timeout.  Find what works and stick to it.  Let us know how it is going.