6 month old girl and pregnant again

  • I just found out we are pregnant again. I was definately not planning on this, as I was hoping to have my kids 3 years apart, not 14 or 15 months apart. I am having really mixed emotions and but in general I am excited. I know the lord wouldn't give us anymore than we can handle.

    I am really nervous about this pregnancy because I had very little support with my first pregnancy from anyone. I also had a very complicated pregnancy and a risky to me birth.

    I am scared because I know many people who have children this close tend to have a stay at home parent, but this option is no way feasible for us. We live paycheck to paycheck already.

    I am excited because my daughter will have someone to grow up with and they hopefully will get along.

    My husband just landed a job an hour away from our house and so that puts him away for 10 hours away minumum depending on traffic. I already struggle with what I call single parent syndrome because of the long hours he works. I wake up get our daughter ready, get myself ready, take her to the sitters, go to work, work 8 hours, pick up our daughter, come home, fix dinner, play with her, feed her, bathe her, put her to bed (she goes to bed at 7pm), and then try to maintain house and laundry. He comes strolling in the door after 6 pm eats and wants to relax after a long day of work. She gets up in the middle of the night and I am the one who gets up with her.

    These are normal feelings right?I hope I just don't get judged for being that mom with 2 kids under two. I know it sounds silly but I know how people are in the area where I live.

    When I had my daughter I found out who my true friends were: no one... No friends of mine threw a shower, no friends of mine visited us in the hospital, no friends of mine came to her coming home event. Its a trend, shes 6 month old and no friends of mine have even met her.

    This is completely on a side note: I never had a baby shower for my daughter. Is it wrong to feel I deserve one this time around?

     

  • I think your feelings are valid and normal first of all. It's not easy being a parent, and it's certainly not any easier feeling like you're doing it all alone. trust me i know. My schedule is just like yours except i get my fiances breakfast and lunch ready before he leaves for work and i stay home to do everything else. He comes home around 6 has dinner, plays on the computer, and watches some tv. I got on him about not spending enough time with Hazel and now he's been better with that, but it's still not easy. Now as far as your "friends" are concerned they don't sound very reliable to me and you're probably better off without them. Sounds harsh, but probably pretty accurate. As far as the people you live around is concerned who cares what they think. It's YOUR life!!!! If they don't approve of you having children close together that's their problem and not yours. Just forget about them and focus on yourself and your babies. You don't need all the extra stress on top of what you're already going through. I feel like you do deserve a baby shower, but at what cost? Really if there isn't anyone who cared enough the first time around  to give you a baby shower, visit you in the hospital, meet your baby, or be an active part of your life... would you want them to attend anyway? I'm so sorry if this message has sounded harsh it's really not meant to be that way, but i have a tendency to practice "tough love". I'm usually the person you can count on telling you what you need to hear vs what you want to hear. My suggestion to you is join some support groups or play groups with your daughter. Forget about the people who seem to have forgotten about you and start fresh with people worth being around. That's my piece.. i wish you all the luck in the world.

  • Thanks Brinny!

    I have tried to join some mom groups but they unfortunately meet when I have to work. It sucks trying to make ends meets (working), raising my baby, maintaining a home and making friends. The last on the list is the one that always gets cuts due to time constraints. Although I am definately going to be trying harder to make some, my daughter needs it for the social interaction and I need adult conversation.

    I appreciate the bluntness because I myself am a tough love type personality when I am not a mixed basket of emotional pregnancy hormones.

  • Hello

    I competely understand what you are going through. I also just found out I'm pregnant again. My kids will be 16 months apart. I know what you with the mixed emotions but i come to realized that it is a blessing and we need to embace it. Best wishes and hang in there.

    o yes i don't think it is wrong to feel like you deserve a baby shower. Every pregnancy/baby should be special and unique.

     

  • Congrats on your pregnancy. :-) It sounds like you really have your hands full with your little one. You are working so hard for your family - what an amazing mother you are. I'm hoping that you can somehow find friends who are more supportive and caring for you. I was able to find some mommy groups for working women. They met in the evenings - perhaps you could find something like that? At the very least, just know we are here to listen to you. Wishing you a smooth and easy pregnancy. Hugs to you. 

  • Thanks everyone! I have to come to realize it was just my destiny to have to kids close in age. Criysergio, Congratulations on your pregnancy! PediNurse I am looking into any evening mommy groups in my area but I am currently not having any luck. I haven't given up hope though, I know everything will work out. I have found a new strength in my faith with this pregnancy trusting the saying "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" and "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"

  • Yes you are normal!! Oh my gosh I understand completely how you are feeling. My sweetheart works a lot, two jobs and multiple bands..it feels really crazy and I would feel really alone at times. Thankfully when he is home , he is on duty. It has been a little while since you posted, how are you doing right now? 

  • I have kids that are 5, 3 1/2, and two and another on the way in February! Close together is all we know and there are certainly complications, but we wouldn't have done it any other way. Good luck and congrats!

  • Skatieyonts- love the positive tone you are taking. Sometimes all you can do in certain circumstances is decide to have a certain outlook and be optimistic. We are here for you - vent any time you need to! 

  • My friend also share to me her experience of getting pregnant even her baby is still 7 months old. At first she said she's very much worried about having the 2nd one in a short span of time. She did not expect to have it, and she's not yet ready as well. But as the time goes by and now she's on her 6 months of pregnancy she finally realize that it's a blessing and everything happens for a reason. And now she's more excited than before.

  • same wif me almost. i hav a 11month old baby girl and i am almost due wif my secound baby girl...my first baby was 6months old wen i found out i was 3months preggo again!! but even dow i am 18years old and now married at first i was shocked...but now im happy dat my little gurl wont b alone and dat my family is growin....wif my first daughter none of my friends never seen her ether....only if im walkn to the store and dey happn to b der den dey just say hii and blah blah blah and walk away....yu just gota b strong fo yo babys...yu shouldnt hav to worrie bout wut people say...im happy wif my family and as long as my daughter is happy im happy....friends come and go....but your lov fo yo family last fo ever....just wait until yu see her in the delivery room...yu guna fall inlove wif her...i cant wait to see my new angel :)...hope i helped yu keep yo head high....because i been doing it gewd so far i hav faith in yu....i burly kno any gurls dat are in du same place as me  happy i found yu...im not alone  :)

  • I wanted to let everyone know I appreciate all of your words of wisdom. I went to the Emergency Room today and my visit ended with the physican telling me I was in the middle of a miscarriage. I was 13 weeks, and I am heart broken. Its funny how 6 weeks ago I was embarrased and worried, but now I would do anything to have what I lost back. 

    But I wanted to let everyone know I appreciated your advice and encouragement.

  • I'm so sorry for you... as John Lennon once said, life is what happens while you're busy making other plans. Sometimes it's hard to figure out why things happen, but hopefully the next time you conceive, it will be at a time that you feel is right for you and your family. Again, I'm really sorry for your loss.

  • Xlindax, I like what you quoted "friends come and go" but your family is your treasure.   So lets treasure our family for they are the once who can accept who we really are and understands our weaknesses. Having an additional member of the family is such a blessing.