Sibling Guilt

  • Now that my second little boy is here, I find myself feeling somewhat guilty that I’m not finding the time to do everything with him that I did with my firstborn. I realize, however, that I have to realistic and know that I can’t be perfect with a 3 year old and a newborn at home. How do you balance life with more than one child and make sure they each get individual attention? --Julie, StrongMoms Facilitator

  • As moms, we have to let go of the guilt. It is hard for sure, but not beneficial to anyone. Why beat yourself up? Just do your best and realize that your best IS GOOD ENOUGH. As a new mother I struggled with this as well, but the more children I had, the more I realized that some days I could be supermom...other days it was more of a TV day. I do a good job but if I held myself to some "TV standard" or some "Pinterest" standard then I would be miserable. Enjoy your children....but don't feel guilty when you enjoy some alone time as well.Smile

  • Oh my gosh Julie, you have quite an assignment!  I don't think that there is a perfect way to be a parent, and I think that by stepping back and owning that some relief can be found.  I also think it's important to realize that your kids are individuals and what worked or what was one way for one child will not be a carbon copy for the 2nd or even 3rd.  These variations allow your children to develop into their own being and have their own unique voyage in life.  It helps them have their own version of what childhood is and was, and this is so important.  I think that your awareness of the differences will keep things so that they are not "unequal", but just different....and different is good. :)

    -Jess

  • PediNurseJulie1, don't be too guilty as that was the nature of life that we can never be perfect. Although I haven't tried that yet but soon I know I can try that. But every individual is a unique individual so you can never do the same thing you did with the 1st one just be happy at least you have tried your very best to make them a good person. Congrats I know your such a nice mother.