Awake without constant crying

  • Approximately at what age are babies awake without constant crying.  I have 9 1/2 week old twins and 95% of the time when they are awake they are crying and nothing I do has helped.   They aren't hungry or dirty.  Being by myself with both of them crying can get a little frustrating to figure out what to do.  I try the bouncy seat, swing, holding them different positions, sling, on stomach, but doesn't seem to help.  Any advice????

  • If nothing you are doing is soothing them and they are neither dirty nor hungry they may have something else wrong. Have you spoken with a pediatrician? It may be a milk allergy or ear infection but it could just be they are colicy.

    Being on your own can make it difficult to give time to any child, especially twins, and have time to yourself. Is there a parent, or friend you can call to lend a helping hand (even if its just long enough for you to soak in the tub)? A little time to yourself may help you feel better, and your mood can have a strong influence on your childrens mood.

  • Relying on friends and family to help you through this time can be a real sanity saver. I agree with StrongDad in that there may be another issue going on and it's probably best to discuss with your pedi.

    In the meantime, though, you want to make sure you're not being overwhelmed with the stress of caring for two challenging babies. You need a break, too, in order to be the best mom you can. StrongDad's advice is great for any new mom.

  • I'm a mom of twin girls, and they're 3 1/2 months old now. i completely understand what you mean about the stress of 2 babies. If you talk to pediatrician, and they can't find a problem, and your babies start crying, its time to go utterly insane and act like a nut! I was a daycare teacher before I became a mom, so I knew a whole bunch of goofy songs with hand motions. So singing and dancing gave my girls something to watch and actually made me feel a little better. I also have a play gym that I'd move the toys around to catch they're attenetion and that helped. So did staring at the fish in our fish tank, and sucking a pacifier in extremely desperate cases.

    As for needing help, i can understand the stress you're under, and while it's very important to get time for yourself, I have always felt better knowing that I, single handedly, can successfully care for my girls. Their dad watches them breifly, and I have a small support system but 98% of the time, I'm completely on my own. So it truly can be done.

    Good Luck with your little ones!

    *~*What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and everything nice!*~*

  • Thanks for all your responses.  The crying has gotten better.  I think it was because my one little guy ended up with a cold and I believe his brother is getting it as well.  I am sure at times it could be related to gas or just growth spurts. I think they can sense that their daddy is gone (he is gone until Oct) and not really knowing it, but they miss him.

    I do have a couple questions for sugarnspicex2 that aren't related to the original question.  How do you handle feedings?  Do you feed them both at that same time or feed one then the other?  (I bottle feed) And how do you handle bedtime with getting them both down at a reasonable time in order to get to bed yourself and get some sleep?

  • I'm not sure how sugarnspicex2 does it, but I would think feeding should be the same principle with two as with one - anytime they get hungry early on and developing a feeding schedule as they grow slightly little older. Bedtime is trickier with any number of children, from what I have heard with multiples getting them on a bedtime routine, establishing a sense of night and day, and the use of the simple tricks - feeding them just before bedtime, ambient noise, swaddling, etc. - all go a long way to helping get them down. Hope you're doing well with them, let us know how things are going!

  • Yeah, sometimes when your baby is looking for extra attention of is just generally cranky, that can be an indicator that some kind of illness is coming on. Since they can't express themselves, looking out for these types of signs can help you stay on top of colds when they're developing.

  • With my girls, if I'm by myself, I always try to answer the most urgent of the 2 first. If I get one settled, then usually the other is ok if I find a way to keep her occupied. My girls are bottlefed as well, so it can be difficult, but from what I'm told, my babies are easy compared to most, so as long as I feed one baby and then the other, it works out just fine, unless their daddy is home, then he helps by feeding the other girl while I'm feeding. Our nightly rituals vary depending on the babies, but typically, my girls are asleep by 11 and then wake up around 430 or 5, but after that feeding, they go back down till around 10, so I've become used to sleeping for 3 to 4 hours, waking for about 2 and then napping and such when I get the chance.

    Their daddy works third shift, so when the girls are awake, he isn't and when they sleep, he's gone, so they almost never see him and I guess they do ok with all that. Mainly it just depends on the baby itself.

    *~*What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and everything nice!*~*

  • Hello all...This is my first post...Let me just start by giving you guys my info...I'm 26 years old and I recently had my first born 11/25/2008 she's eight weeks.  I have to say that when my daughter is awake she is ok for about thirty minutes or so then after that she get's really fussy and no binky, bouncy chair, or toy will calm her down.  She screams until she loses her voice.  So I advised her doctor of that was going on we did a head to toe check and she's healthy.  The doctor basically said she will eventually grow out of it when she finds things that will occupy her time.  In my opinion, I feel less of a mother when I cannot comfort my daughter.  I constantly ask myself what am I doing wrong, why don't I know what my baby is asking or what she needs.  Its crazy because I've helped my older sister raise her three kids so before my daughter was born I just made the assumption that I knew what I was doing and that it would be a piece of cake.  Boy was I wrong! That would be the only thing I take back, oh and giving her a binky lol!!!!  But I'm curious if any other parents experience this and solutions worked for you.

    Have a great day to you all...Anneshia

  • I totally understand where you are coming from. I have twins that were born on 11/12/08. One of them is very content and hardly ever makes a peep. The other one has two stages to her life right now. She is either sleeping or screaming. After 7 weeks of agony we finally took her off breast milk and switched her to Similac Alimentum. While it hasn't completely cured her it has made life more manageable and she has even started to smile once in a while.

  • I would speak with a pediatrician. I know that newborns cry a lot, but they shouldn't cry everytime they are awake. A baby should be content at some point while awake. I would check with the doctor and make sure diet and schedule is where it should be.

  • icypjr, I agree with BabyNurse3 if she's screaming all the time it may be something is wrong (milk allergy, ear infection, or something else). It could be simply colic of course, but either way it is probably a good idea to bring her in and have her checked again by her pediatrician. If she is not sick or suffering from anything physical then bonding activities may help - she may be screaming just because she wants you. I know my daughter often just wanted to be held or hear the sound of her parents voices, it meant a lot of time doing nothing but being with her (chores became something of a leisure activity Wink), but it definitely helped with her a lot.

  • I've got 3 month old twin boys (and a soon to be 3 y/o boy), so i feel ya pain.  as for feeding, dad & I usually feed simultaneously.  during the day, we feed on a very strict schedule of every 4 hours that was luckily established during their stay in the NICU.  at night, we feed "on demand" however, if one wakes up hungry the other one is getting fed too.  if one of us isn't there we start feeding one just prior to the 4 hour mark (before they get fussy) and keep our fingers crossed the other one will hold out till done with the first.  I have sat on the floor with each in a Boppy pillow (or bouncy seat or car seat) on either side of me and a bottle in each hand.  they usually get last evening feeding around 7-8 pm, then it is swaddling time and in the crib they go.  they usually sleep until about 2-3 A.M. at which time one wakes up hungry - they even take turns on who it is that wakes up!  we keep the lites dimmed for this feeding.  Feed, burp, changed diapers (sometimes more than once) and usually have them back down in the crib in about 45 minutes.  Schedule is the most important thing i got from numerous books, blogs, and the nurses in the NICU.  It has helped us immensely!