am i doing enough??

  • hi ladies! I have a 5 month old and i know that some of my insecurities are from my own child hood and probably a little post pardum.anyway i try to always have my son engaged in some thing wheather we're on the floor playing, in the exer saucer sing crib with music ect. I always feel like im not doing enough for him though..is this normal should i feel this way or am i truely not doing enough for his development..thanks for listening!

  • I have the same questions as well.  Mine are only 12 weeks, but I wonder at this stage if I am doing enough for them.  Of course, at this stage they are doing more sleeping than playing, but when they are awake I try to interact and wonder as well if I am doing enough for their development.  I don't know if it is normal to feel that way, but I do so maybe it is for new moms.  I know they seem to be happy babies for the most part when they are awake.  I think alot is learning ourselves as we go.  I am open to hear what others think. 

  • I think if you are worried about it, then you are doing enough. Bad moms generally don't think they are bad moms. The good ones worry themselves sick over it.

    If you would like a guide, there is a book that you can buy from Amazon called: Slow and Steady: Get Me Ready. The book contains activities for every week of life from birth to age 5. It is designed to keep your child on track, so they are well equipped to handle school. A book like that may help give you some confidence.

    You can also check out Fun with Mommy & Me. There are chapters based on age and some based on the month for older children.

    I have tons of books and do a lot of work with this. If you have any questions, let me know!

  • My thoughts exactly, BabyNurse. If you have to ask, then you probably are doing enough. That said, remember that babies need downtime, too. They need the time to discover on their own and learn how to entertain themselves. If they become used to being constantly stimulated by others, they'll come to expect it, which is not always helpful for their development.

    What worked best for me was to give my girls a balance of playtime with mommy, exploration time on their own, and of course rest time. Both of them are very smart, have a love of learning and can entertain themselves so that they're not constantly demanding my attention.

  • I've got to agree with Writemommy10. I also find that in giving my daughter some downtime to play on her own it gives me a chance to recharge as well so that when we play again it is always a joy and never feels like a chore. I don't always give her a ton of time on her own but it's not unusual to pop her into her bouncy chair and let her play (where she can see me) while I am doing dishes, working on the computer, or just catching up on a chapter in a book I may be reading.

    They need time to learn and play on their own...and so do we! :)

  • I fell the same way i even bought my daughter you baby can read stuff plus 6 new learning toys. I think that most babys learn on there own as long as you care for him and talk to him as much as you can you are doing enough

  • I think as long as you're trying you're doing enough. Being there for your child is the most any of us can do, and it sounds like you're right on target with that. As long as he is happy and you are a part of his life, whatever you choose to do - play games, read, go for a walk with him - a child couldn't ask for better.

  • I was actually thinking of this today, my son is 12 weeks old and I'm going back to work part time.  Well, I'm working in the office 3 days of the week and working from home 2 days a week.  I wonder if my son will demand more of my time while I'm home trying to work. 

    We've set up our comuter room to include his changing table and pack 'n play (he has been sleeping in this room since we brought him home).  I've just started incorporating his naps to his bedroom upstairs in his crib.  He hasn't had much time to sleep up there and I would like for him to get used to it so I can work down stairs.  But when he is awake and playing there are times when he wants more attention and I'm worried I may not have the time like I do now, and wonder if he'll adapt to playing by himself well. 

    There are times when he is playing and my husband or myself will go check on him and he looks at us like he's saying "what do you want??"  So I know he can entertain himself.  But I've found myself using the same activity mat for him to lay on for an hour at a time.  Is this too long for a baby to play on?  Sometimes he just lays there staring at either the mirror or the tv, and other times he's really interacting with the toys dangling above him.  I would love to start using the excer saucer but he's still too little for that.  He LOVES to stand on his feet.

    Any advise on how to juggle work and play??

  • I wonder the same thing! I think if your baby is developing well, you are doing a great job! Every baby is different some are very demanding and some other are not so much... as long as you are spending quality time together you two are going to be just fine :)

  • jacks_mom_30,

    I've found our daughter adapted well to us working. I work at home in the evenings in addtion to my daytime job. She will often lie next to me or play with her toys at my feet. If you are firm but fair about showing your son that you need to work I bet he'll do the same. Especially by showing him you still have time for him after work time ends Wink.

  • Jack's mom- I can say from experience that as he gets older, working at home gets harder. I work as a pediatric triage nurse and have to have silence while I am on the phone. My husband has to watch the children during that time. I also do some other work from home that is more on my schedule and doesn't require quiet. I can do some of this with my children around, but have to schedule frequent breaks to play with them. If you feed the meter by playing with them for ten minutes  and working ten minutes, you can get a lot more done. I also schedule work during nap time and early in the morning while they are sleeping. My son is four now and is no problem to watch while I am working. My daughter is twenty months and is much more demanding.