Advice on behavior

  • I am now a mother of two, a toddler, 3, and and an infant, almost 6 weeks. My three year wants me to play with her constantly, but everytime time I get the baby to sleep, she wakes him up. I have tried to talk to her about doing that, letting her know if she wants me to play she has to let her brother sleep. It is an everyday fight. I dont like punishing her, but thats whats been happening. Now she talks back, tells me to take her things away, and will put herself in the corner. It makes me feel like a HORRIBLE mother. When I talk to her now she just smiles and tells me she doesnt know why she does it. I know its the whole, " Hey pay attention to me!", thing, but I'm doing everything I can. I've tried to take her out with me, just mommy and daughter, but she acts up no matter what I have tried to do. What can I do? I am getting ready to go back to work, and I know it isn't going to get any easiler. My husband works second shift, so I'm pretty much lost unless he's home. Occassionly she listens to him, but most of the time it's the same story. Am I just not being a good mom, or is it still going to take some time? I need some advice on what I can do with her and how I can try to make it easy on all of us. 

  • It will probably just take some more time. If time out is not working, you might make a sticker chart and let her put a sticker on the chart everytime she is patient, a good big sister, or lets the baby sleep. Then you can give her a small suprise if she gets so many in a day. It needs to be small gifts often, because having to wait a week is too hard for a three year old. You can fill a gift bag with party favors, candy, and little suprises and let her cover her eyes and draw a prize each night she has done a good job for the day. When I was by myself with both the children and had to put the baby to sleep, I would turn on a cartoon for my son just long enough to put my daughter down. Then I would come in, turn it off, and play with alone for a while.

  • My baby isn't even here yet and my 4 year old daughter is already starting to act up.  I guess it's pretty much only when my boyfriend and I are together because she seems to do okay when she's with just me and he says she's usually really good when it's just them.  She acts up the most when we go out to eat or to the store.  Sometimes we tell her that if she's good she can get a small toy or book, but sometimes that's not even enough incentive for her.

    My daughter will tell me to take her toys away too and my response is I will take them away, but she has to pick them up and put them in the bag.  When we were doing it the other way I feel like she had more control over the situation because I still wound up picking them all up.

    As for the time out issue, it hasn't really been working for us that well either.  I may try the reward system that the other poster mentioned.  If you try it too please let me know how it works for you!  Good luck!

  • I have a 7yr and a 3 month old girls and I homeschool... She understands that she has to wait so I can't help anyone there but I can say that the sticker and the time out hasnt work when she was 3... i just found out to make a game out of it... say lets see how long we can be quite while i put the baby down??? Or let him or her help out with task of putting the baby down for a nap... Like getting a diaper or wipes or even go shopping for the one special toy that the baby will always get when its nap time??? My daughter loved that one most of all... I try to make her feel involved and it has worked so far... plus she loves having to make the decision's in the household...