My first baby along with first deployment!

  • Well hello everyone, I am Karla and I now have a 9 month old little girl, Kinsley. She is growing so fast and getting around alot. She was born October 12 2010, and was due 10-10-10, which I was really excited for and it wasnt even a planned pregnancy. Anyway, my fiance, Kelly is on deployment. It's our first deployment and this is my first child. I am struggling on things I can do to stop being so overwhelmed with it all and start excepting the fact that time will fly by and soon enough he'll be home to help. I always take time out of my day to interat with my kid and play. She's doing great and developing great. doc said she's above average in most areas n talking really well. Although I can't get her to say dada yet which bugs me and kelly. She has the mama down and baba uh-oh and lots of other noises. I am pretty much looking for advice to get her to say dada even tho her daddy is deployed and there isnt a guy figure around right now. Mre advice I am definately willing to take is how can I do this on my own for a year and to take a breather so I don;t get som worked up and rattled with all that's going on.

    Please leave me any advice. I am willing to take anything right now.

    Thanks Karla

  • Karla-It sounds like your baby is doing wonderfully! I am so impressed by how many words she can say, even though dada is not one of them. The funny thing is that many babies will say dada first and this drives their mommies crazy! The honest truth about this is that you can't really "make" her say anything that she doesn't want to. It's the whole you can lead a horse to water, but can't make them drink. You can however show her pictures of daddy and tell her "Dada", ect. When he gets home I'm sure that she will learn it down very fast. keep us posted, Jess
  • yes,  i show her pictures all the time. It's a great thing i have pictures. I dont get to talk to him or get a messge from him really so everytime i hear from him i go nuts cuz i am just so excited..   but being a single mom for a yr is not going so well... i am new at this n not really sure what i need to do yet

     

  • I think you are doing such a great job. My little boy had his daddy around all the time and didn't say "Dadda" until almost a year old. It's nothing you are doing or not doing - they will just say it when they are developmentally ready and in their own time. Just continue to talk to her about her daddy and she will eventually get the hang of it. :-) As for taking a break, I would really encourage you to join a mommy group. Look for your local MOPS group or a support group for new moms at the hospital you delivered at or a military mom group. You can meet some really great people there that understand what you are going through and can support and encourage you. You can also trade off watching each other's kids occasionally for a break! I'd encourage you to find some way to drop your daughter off for an hour or two with someone or a day care at least once a week if you are all alone where you are stationed to just get a pedicure, take a nap, go shopping, go for a walk, etc. Whatever relaxes you but if you take care of yourself first, you will be doing your daughter the best possible service you can because then you will be emotionally and physically healthy to take care of her. Hang in there!!
  • yes, that would be a great idea. I joined the frg groups n attend them in 3 different towns. It's a great time and i meet many new pl and talk bout lots of different things and we can all relate to them some way or another. thanks for the advice. I am glad my friend told me bout this site it's gonnahelp out alot even if i have just a small question.

  • I really have no advice for you as far as the whole dada thing goes, but I do want to tell you (even though I don't know you:)  You are a strong woman and I admire you for your strength.  You make me appreciate the fact that I have my husband home with me. Keep doing what you are doing, it sounds like you are doing a great job! 

  • Thank ur for ur support. yes it is very hard having him gone. i am doing more than i thought i could handle but i guess if i keep a schedule going like this it shouldn't be too hard. it's just knowing what hes doing is tough on me n also things like that. I wish everyday that he was home and theres not a second in my life that goes by that i wish he was here by our side. I support him in anyway i can for what he is doing, but i am gonna be a strong mom and continue this n soon enough he'll be home.

  • Glad you are finding some encouragement on here. :-) We can all use that!!

  • Hi Karla!  I have been a military wife for eight years now and while I haven't faced a deployment since our daughter was born (7/10/2011) I have watched some close friends with children endure that very struggle.  I don't know if you have heard of "daddy dolls" but they are made with Dad's picture and can have a voice recorder installed with a message from Dad. I plan on ordering one for the next deployment.  I know that they helped my friend and her 2 year old and 10 month old. They wouldn't leave the house without it!

    They can be found at https://www.hugahero.com/

    Keep your head up, as hard as it is right now, the reunion makes it all worth it!

    Prayers,
    Leah

  • Leah - what a GREAT idea! I'm going to pass this along to my friends who have deployments coming up!

  • Deutschmann07 -

    I was just checking in on your post to make sure you got the feedback that you were looking for, and I wanted to add that I love your baby's name.  I just love that name, sooo pretty!  

    I hope that you are doing well.  Keep us in the loop.

    -Jess