My daughter is too attached

  • My baby is 6 months and for some reason she crys whenever my husband carries her. Whenever he carries her she stares at me with her arms reaching for me.I don't know what to do my husband gets sad because she doesn't want to go with him.What should I do? He works 12 hours every day is that why she doesn't want to go with him!If so what should we do because she is really attached to me. I can't even go to the next room without her crying for me.

  • I completely feel your pain! My daughter did the same thing! It was so bad for awhile that I could only take a shower if she was sound asleep otherwise she would scream until I appeared again. I figured it was because I breastfed her and she was just attached, but she is my first, so I'm not sure. Anyway, there is hope! She is 8 months old now and FINALLY will consistantly go to her dad. She still has her moments, but for the past month she just grew out of it. Good luck!

  • At times I have felt the same way. My wife was on maternity leave and I was working and some days, I got home too late to see my daughter. She was extremely attached to my wife and I took it personally. You can't do that because it isn't fair to you or your daughter.

    What happened to us was that my wife had a friend's baby shower when my daughter was five months old, and I spent the entire day with her. When it was just the two of us, we really bonded. Of course when my wife walked through the door, my daughter wanted to go to her, but this time, I felt great about it. Fairly quickly after that, my daughter really warmed up to me even when my wife was around, and we have been very close ever since.

  • It is the same with my 7 and half month old daughter.  I just let her cry and she only crys for a minute.

  • How frustrating babymama! But it's also completely normal. The best thing to do is to encourage them to spend more time together. Letting your baby cry for a while will not hurt her, and she needs to learn that she can trust being with her daddy as much as she does with you. The more time they spend together on their own (meaning she can't see you), the more comfortable they will become with each other. He'll learn to soothe her and she'll learn to rely on him. It may be tough to listen to her cry for you, but in the end, she'll learn to be stronger and more trusting of your husband.

  • My little girl has done the same thing.  She is now 7 1/2 mths old and she spends more time w/ her dad now but she still has a fit sometimes when I go out of the room or if I'm out of her eye site.  My husband always felt bad because she didn't want to spend alot of time with him but I try to encourage her to sit w/ him alot and spend time with him so I can get things done around the house.  Just give it time she will come around.  Smile

  • Hopefull your baby has outgrown this, but if not, here's a few suggestions:

    At first, both of you be near her at the same time, have the three of you cuddle and hug, then if you need to go to the bathroom, pick her up and hand her face forward to your husband. Then she knows it ok to go because mommy GAVE her to that person. Then, after that, they need to spend a whole day together. Leave them at home together and go to a friends house, or the other way around. When he gets home from work, devote his time to feeding her, changing her, talking to her, playing with her. Dont do it for him, use that time to shower and do laundry.

    And it's sounds like she needs more socialization, if she cries for you when you leave the room. Have other people distract her and talk to her, but be in plain sight so she doesnt have that instant panic. Hand her face forward to ppl, don't let your husband or anybody grab her from you. Put her carseat the other way in the stroller or cart, let her see other people. My friend's 2-year old will NOT leave her hip, no matter where he is or who he's with. You don't want that to happen!!!

  • I agree with jnelson, but also remember that you are doing her good when you leave the room - even though she is crying.  I know it's hard, but she has to learn that when Mommy leaves her, Mommy WILL ALWAYS come back.  As she gets older, this will be easier for her to learn.

  • my husband changes the baby and picks her up first when she is crying and then brings her to me ( I brestfeed her) When ever my husband is home from work and when i pump he gives her the bottle he also is right next to me when i give her a bath we did things like this with the first two also so they never had a problem going to dad. just in case something happened and he needs to stay with the baby i can get out for a few hours. it seems to work cause this way the baby does not assositate me with all her needs.. when my husband is watching tv (like now) he is holding the baby and i am able to get on the computer and do other things.. anyway those are a few things to try.. i know that if you stay home and your husband works he will be tired and it will be hard for him to want to to this stuff but in the long run it will be better for both of you and the baby.. Good Luck and I hope it works out for you..

     

  • This post may be too old for BabyMaMa2008, but may help others with a similar situation...  dads need to feed.

    When my son was born this past May, his mother was being "schooled" by a nurse from every topic from pumps to diapers and this lady was school-teacher-thorough.  Mommy was still a bit "out of it" (not to mention a pending adema) but out of the clear blue the nurse turned to me and in an almost stern voice insisted the following:

    "When you have the chance to do so, take off your shirt and cuddle with the baby getting ready to proceed with feeding (via a bottle - breast milk or formula is assumed case by case.)" and proceeded to claim that the "bond" could be started at such a young age.  (I wasn't about to strip right there - but at home would be reasonable.)

    Since then it's made perfect sense...  virtually all breastfed babies and a large portion of formula fed babies where dad's gone all day are going to experience the same thing...  they become mentally and emotionally attached to the one person they feel truly safe with...  the one giving them what they need most.  My son's going onto his fourth month and at times, the misses gets a little jealous - she claims I can get him to calm down when fussy and sometimes the belly laughs are more plentiful when daddy gets to escape the workload  and put in some quality time, even when it's short lived.

    If it has already begun and the child has become "mommy's girl/boy" -- I'd recommend doing a little body navigation...  if pumped or formula bottles are not an option, lie in bed or cuddle on the couch with baby in between.  If dad can get a small amount of recognition by the wee-one during that vital time (feedings) there's hope for a smoother tomorrow.  If bottle feeding is an option, save some for dad...  accompany him during the first few feedings so muchkin can feel reassured...  but after a few times, slip away mid-feeding and from there, play it by ear.