my first question on being a first time mom....

  • since when did being a mom beccome a competition?


    i was told my baby was fat by another mom. she claimed her baby that was two weeks old and wieghed a little less than 6 pounds can lift his head already and that he has abs! (i dont think so)

  • That chic has issues! It's tempting to brag about my baby's size but truly size does not mean the baby is healthy or unhealthy. A six pounder can be just as healthy and strong as a nine pounder. At two weeks mine could lift hers a bit but only very briefly and of course with no control.

    Besides, what's the big deal about a skinny baby? Mine has FAT thighs and they are absolutely adorable! It sure beats the chicken legs she was born with lol. Doc says she's very healthy and developing very well. She'll thin out a bit when she hits a vertical growth spurt so I'm not in the least bit worried about it. I hope that mom doesn't get too obsessed with keeping her baby skinny.

  • I have never understood why some parents feel their babies are in competition. It drives me crazy xsomewhat, but I take satisfaction in the idea that I am not so insecure that I have to make it seem like my wife gave birth to "SuperBaby".

  • You're right, it's not a competition. Unfortunately, I think that some parents view their children (whether they mean to or not) as reflections of themselves and their achievements. I think every parent should be proud of their child, but that there's really no excuse to be catty to other parents and put down other children. I agree with you that parenting is not a competition and it never should be.

    That said, I think that everyone thinks that their baby is the smartest, cutest, most advanced baby on the block -- and that we also measure our babies' progress against others. We compare our success with that of our family and co-workers, don't we? The difference comes in when you start looking down on other parents and babies -- which is just uncalled for. Take heart in knowing that parents who treat you and your baby that way are the ones with a problem, and not you.

  • I completely agree with everything you said. One baby's progress does not necessarily mean another is behind or won't catch up.

  • aww, ur baby is so cute...How old?

  • She will be four months on the 24th. Time has gone by so fast.

    Thanks to all for commenting. Also for the support in being a mom is no competition. I feel a whole lot better.

  • For some reason when you are a new mom everyone wants to give you advice and coimpare theirs to yours.  I currently have 3 and am expecting #4 so the amount of advice I recieve has definitely lessened with time.  As long as your Dr says everything is ok then it is.  I hear all the time that my 7 mth old is fat, I tell them she is pleasantly plump and healthy.

  • lol -- but IT IS true!  Being a mom (OR a dad!!!) IS a competition!

    1. To see WHO gets the most sleep (or lack thereof)

    2. "It's YOUR turn to change THAT kind of diaper!"

    3. My son eats like a horse and has the thighs to prove it (and his poor mom cannot produce enough to keep up!)  I wouldn't trade it (or him) for a wee-one 1/2 his size or twice his size

    ...but in the end, there's only one REAL competition you should consider:

    If your baby is healthy (see averages about approx. 1/2oz weight gain per day, etc. based on age - and consider your pediatrician knows a LOT better about what's healthy and what is not) and YOU, the baby and the baby's dad are HAPPY...  use happiness as the challenge - and considering raising children is a life-long commitment, that race never ends.

  • Being a mom is one of the toughest jobs around.  Why is this about comparing.  Every child is individual as are adults.  Its too early to get wrapped up in this.  All you should care about is what your doc says.  My daughter was 3lbs 1oz when she was born.  I am grateful that she hit 7 lbs and out grew a size in clothes.  When the doc tells me to worry I will.  Until then I am grateful for every thing she does regardless of when she does it.

  • Ahh...we all want our children to be the best. Unfortunately, some parents take it a bit too far. I've had people tell me how "Fat" by first two babies were and now my third child is too "skinny". Just shrug it off. Your pediatrician will help keep you on the path towards sanity. If she worries, then you can worry...until then, just smile, keep your regular pediatrican appointments and enjoy your time with your baby.

  • I have to agree with you.  My son was born early and was 4lbs 13oz. I take every day as a blessing.  Every time he out grows his clothes or eats another 1/2 oz in a bottle is wonderful. You can't compare children as every child is different and grows and learns at his or her own speed.  As long as they are healthy and happy, we should be as well.

  • It's heartening to know that there are so many level headed parents out there who get it. I just wish that more people would accept parenthood for what it is -- the greatest gift that you can ever receive.

  • Don't listen to what anyone says. If your pediatrician says your baby is healthy, she is healthy! That's all that matters. I have a friend who said someone told her that she needed to take her baby back to the hospital because he was too skinny...The Nerve!! Don't you think if her baby was too skinny the doctor would have told her already and would be doing something about it. Some people are just rude and have nothing better to do with thier lives than try and figure out how they can be better than others. But you have bigger and better things to do than worry about her comments. You have a big beautiful baby girl to raise! And who cares if she looks fat (I prayed for a fat baby! They are the cutest!Big Smile)