I NEED HELP!!!!

  • okay.... my son is 1 month old and he is WAY to attatched! i no i hold him way to much, but when i dont he screams bloody murder.... everytime he falls asleep i will lay him in his bassinet or craddle, and he will wake up within 15 min screaming. acting like he is starving, so i feed him... but he wont eat for me than 5 min and he's sleeping again!....i've tried to just console him, pat his butt, a binki, and just leaving him cry for a few min, but nothing has worked.. so the only thing i can do is hold him.. but then i have been falling asleep in bed with him...and i have always said i wil not have the kids in bed with me... but its soo hard not to give in to him.... and he sleeps way to good in bed with me (up to 4 hours) ...and i already have pulled many all night-ers determined to have him sleep in his own bed but not even that will work, he just wont sleep then. ive tried music, night lights, singing, even putting my smell in the crib with him, keeping him up All day so he will sleep, even breastfeeding super good before bed....nothing!!!   i think i have created a monster! i really need help!!!

  • I think it's too early to worry about him sleeping in bed with you, so that shouldn't be a concern. By the time he starts using the crib, he will have long gotten out of this habit. I don't think anybody has the magic answer, so just keep trying and eventually he will get to a point where he is more comfortable.

    My first daughter had similar problems, and our pediatrician gave some good advice, but it can be tough to take. The Dr. said to increase the amount of time where the baby is not being held by you in 5 min increments. In other words, set him down and let him cry for five mins before you pick him up. Then when he is asleep again, wait 10 mins before picking him up. Continue this for as long as it takes, or more accurately, as long as you can take it because it is so painful to listen to your baby struggle unhappily.

    It took us a couple of times to try this in earnest, but once we did, it worked like a charm. It's not for everybody, but it worked for our baby (who was a little older than yours). Good luck!

  • well ... your little one is still young .. id say stay cuddled while you can because once he grows out of it you'll miss it .. good luck!

  • He is too young to comfort himself at night or during the day. He wants you close because he was in the womb just 4 short weeks ago. My advice would be to hold him, rock him, cuddle him, and comfort him in any way that he needs. You can't spoil him and he is too young to cry it out. My only other suggestion would be to read or watch The Happiest Baby on the Block, to see if there are comfort measures that you aren't using that would work better.

  • You should relax! My first is just now 3 months old and she was the same way. I tried to extend the time I let her cry and I simply could not take it. She has grown out of it for the most part. I just kept trying and soon she was sleeping for 4 hours in her bassinet. Now her naps are in her bassinet during the day as well. She will sleep longer if I hold her, but she take multiple short naps and it works!

  • Ask god for help! I did and my baby has been an absolute joy, I prayed the whole time i was preg. I got a baby that has been sleeping all night in his crib since day 1!

  • I agree with what most of everyone else is saying. It's a big world out there and he's a little guy. I doesn't even know that you don't stop existing when he can't see you anymore, making the world even scarier. Don't be afraid of holding him too much; the more you hold him at this point, the more comfort you're giving him and he needs that until he develops enough to understand the world around him.

  • A short term solution if you're in desperate need of sleep is the car seat, or if you have a bouncy-seat. Depriving your baby of sleep during the day is not the answer either, as a child that age needs as much sleep as possible and probably has no concept of night and day yet.

  • If you know you're holding him way too much, then stop! It's true he was just in his mommy's tummy, so it would be good to hold and cuddle him, but when you can't even take a shower cuz you're holding him, put him down!

    If he falls asleep in your arms, put him in his crib, if he wakes up, do the 5 min, 10 min intervals before you pick him up. If you are alone with him, and need to take a shower, or clean, or need a break, it's okay to leave him cry, after you check - A)diaper B)hungry C)sick. He's not going to be scarred for life and come back and yell at you for not holding him when he was crying 16 years ago. It's harder on YOU to let him cry than him, so don't feel SO bad letting him cry.

    Try doing the same thing EVERY time before he falls asleep, like putting him up like your burping him and rub his back and bounce a little. Do that EVERY time, even if he's already asleep, then put him in his crib and walk away. He'll realize eventually that that's when he needs to sleep in his crib alone and mommy will be there when he wakes back up hours later. Even if you don't feel it's working, after a few days, KEEP going. He's only a month, and learning. Let him nap though, whenever he needs to. He's not on a schedule yet.

    At night, after feeding him, and he's awake, it's ok to let him lay in his crib (after checking A,B, and C above). Sooner than later he will learn when the room is dark it's nighttime and he needs to go back to sleep after mommy feeds him.

    Remember every baby is different, some sleep thru the night since day one, some don't like ppl holding them, some eat every half hour.

    LISTEN TO YOUR BABY first and foremost. He'll tell you what he wants. Try to decipher HUNGRY and HOLD ME. Don't think "supposed to do this" and "supposed to be like this."

    Your not going to scar him for life if he needs to cry himself to sleep for a while. He'll realize you'll always be there when he wakes up again.

  • My daughter was the same way. What most babies problem is. Their use to being with you all the time. Try laying him down while he is awake and rubbing his head and try to get him to fall asleep on his own. If that don't work. Lay him down if he cries let him cry for a few min go in there and give him a binki or whatever his security thing may be. If that don't work try to keep from picking him up but check his diaper and if he dosent need to be change just keep trying to deal with him without picking him up. It is much harder on you than it is him. My daughter got the point 3 weeks later.

  • Warm up baby lotion and massage your baby it helps the baby to relax.