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As a pediatric nurse, I have talked with many moms who have suffered with post partum depression. Many moms do not realize that they have PPD and not just a case of the baby blues. How do you know if you have the baby blues or PPD? Both have symptoms of sadness and mood swings. The primary difference is the severity and duration of the symptoms. PPD lasts longer, is more severe, and can (but does not have to) include thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. Dads, you guys play the most important role in getting mom help as soon as she needs it, so if you notice that she seems to have more than just the baby blues, please encourage her to call her doctor. Please share your experiences with post partum depression.
My daughter is actually turning 8 months old tomorrow. I have PPD, even now. It's very hard to function some days, and while I would never and could never do it, some days I seriously want to throw her out of our 3rd floor window, and follow. My doctor put me on anti-depressants about 5 months ago, and they have helped a lot. I'm thankful for my hubby taking me to the doctor to get me on them, and for being there for me when I need him. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to admit by myself when I need help. I'm glad he saw it and did it for me. Every once in a while I revert a bit because I'll forget to take my pill every day, but it doesn't happen often. I feel much better now that I'm on it, and that I know I have someone to talk to when I need it.
i didn't go through PPD really i went through my own thing. my grandparents raised me from the time i was three and they both passed away in 07 i was only 16 when grandma died and barley 17 when grandpa went, i got 1 week off school with grandma but had to jump right back into life i never really had time to think about things. i got married 1 month after grandpa went and started my senior year of high school 2 weeks after that. 2 months later we found out i was pregnate. i was 8 and a half months pregnate at my graduation and had my baby girl just over a month later, it finley hit me soon after she was born that grandma and grandpa wouldn't get to see her. life was finley slowed down enough that i had time to think and it wasn't good i could barley look at her without crying, after another long talk with my husband i came to realize that its not the babys fault, i still go throuh spells where i cry but they dont last long usualy she will start fussing or something and i quit thinking about it, i know i kinda got off topic, sorry, i doubt you wanted to hear my crazy life story but im done now so you can relax.
Shorty_Suger08 - you're life is exactly why we're all here! We all go through ups and downs. PPD is a serious concern for mothers and if it helps to talk about it then you, and anyone else who wants to, is always going to be welcome share, to offer advice, or to just come and read what others have to say - whatever helps and offers comfort. So please feel free to share with us any time you want .
Shorty_Suger08- I feel the same way about my mother. Having a baby made me miss her more for the same reasons you mentioned. I just knew that she would love my children so much, but never got to see them. It is so much harder than I thought it would be.
Zoe'sMomma- I am so glad your dh helped you. It is great that you are able to feel well most days. You might want to set an alarm on your cell phone or something along those lines to help you remember your meds. I remind dh to take his each morning. He suffers from depression and missing one day of pills can turn his world upside down.
I am a clinical depressive, which means that I suffer from depression on a constant/regular basis. I've been on antidepressants for nearly 10 years, but it took having a baby to realize that I needed help. I suspect I've been suffering from depression since I was 12 or so and it went untreated. I knew what was going on, but didn't have the drive or desire to deal with it. It's probably one of the reasons I married my first husband at 19 and had a baby by 20. As you can imagine, the stress of an unhealthy marriage and depression during pregnancy took their toll. So when my daughter was a few months old and I was circling downward again, I realized that it wasn't just about me anymore; I had someone else I had to look out for.
So, I explained to my doctor what was going on. He initially thought it was PPD, but when I told him my history, he was convinced it was clinical depression. I reluctantly started on SSRI antidepressants and though it took some months, I did even out. I've been on and off over the years (never for long periods, except during my last pregnancy), and really notice the difference in my moods.
What I hate about this condition is the stigma so many people have about getting help - myself included. I was in a mentally destructive place for nearly a decade before I said, okay, let's do this. My own reservations about taking meds and being classified with something being "wrong" with me mentally held me back. But the truth of the matter is that it's something that affects so many people. With new moms, it's even worse because the emotional tide is so much more as a result of your hormones.
And still, so many women believe that there's nothing they can do or are afraid to reach out for help. My ex-husband was anything but supportive and accepting of my condition and if I'd stayed with him, I'd have never gotten help. So Zoe's Momma, it's such a good thing for you have a partner who you can turn to and who is watching out for you. Keep that close, it makes such a big difference. My husband now was really good during my pregnancy two years ago, even though he had his own issues going on, because he knew I was off my meds and why. That support helped me more than anything else could have.
Shorty Suger, I SOOOO know how it feels to be young and lose that much, and have a husband and child on top of that. I'd be surprised if after all you experienced in such a short time that you didn't suffer from some sort of depression. The emotional toll is there whether we realize it or not. When I think of how my grandparents would have loved my girls (my grandmother died just two years before my youngest was born, and she lived with up), I like to think that they're with them somehow, some way. My girls will never know them, but through me and my sister and my parents, they'll get some of who they were.
Ok, moral of this overly long post: whatever you're feeling is OKAY. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you're feeling trapped or hopeless. It's the best thing to do for you and your baby. And even if it's not PPD you're dealing with, recognizing that being in a funk for weeks on end is something that needs to be addressed. Depression can hit anyone, anytime. Seeking help is not a crime; it's the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids.
thanks gyes its good to know theres other people out there to talk to besides my husband i am doing ok i don't have a lot of the sines of depresion i just miss them, a lot i talk to the hubby about it when i do and that helps or i talk to the baby about them, she will smile and it makes me feal good and like im keeping them in her life, even tho she has know idea whats going on or what im talking about, i know some of you were pretty young when you had your first did you get stero typed a lot? i have a hard time when im out with her i have had people who don't belive me when i tell them shes myne. Or say how i have screwed up my life and stuff. Its quite anoying my daughter is one of the best things in my life and i wouldn't change it for anything
I always felt like people looked down on me for being a young mom, and I always felt pulled in different directions. I felt like the older moms did not approve of me being so young and not staying home with my baby. I felt like the younger moms (still older than me) did not approve of me when I did stay home and didn't go after my career. Then those women my age and even younger saw me as old and unsociable, like I got pregnant by accident and had to strighten my life back out. College as a single mom was less than fun.
I just decided one day to ignore it all. I had made my share of mistakes, but I didn't regret a one, and I didn't feel bad about not being welcomed into the mommy club with open arms because I've never been much of a joiner, anyway. I said to myself, "This is me. Whoever doesn't like it is just going to have to get over themselves." I made my own choices about what was best for me and my daughter, and it's all turned out well. Stick with what you're doing and ignore the haters.
WriteMommy10 - That is an amazing statement. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to share it with someone close to me. She's been through a lot in her life and I really think it will resonate close to her just how much you seem to understand what she's been through. Thank you for sharing that, I know it wasn't easy but I just want you to know it's going to help at least one person out there.
StrongDad: Share away! I am totally comfortable sharing my experience with others (hence posting it on the Net for all to see!). I adopted the "this is me, if you don't like it, tough nuggies" attitude about myself a long time ago. :)
i so understand your thoughts! my mom passed away feb 2008 and i found out i was pregnant july 2008. This was totally unplanned and i was on the pill. i thought in my head how could god want me to have a baby without her here to help me? she has influenced my life so much as well as my first child and my nephews. it is not fair to not have this baby meet her and be blessed by all she had to offer. i continue to deal with these emotions all the time but try to think of it as one door closes, another one opens and maybe this is a way of having a piece of her!
It's ironic this subject is posted. My daughter is 3 mos old this week and I went to my OB two weeks ago about PPD. My husband and mother encouraged me to go. I was crying constantly and always sad for no reason. I couldn't get myself together. I refused to believe I had PPD and was actually embarrased by it at first. I was shocked that I was still so emotional after having a baby 2 1/2 mos ago. I thought I would handle being a new mom much easier. Then my doctor told me how many women suffer from it after childbirth. I'm on an antidepressant now and it's made a huge difference. Now I don't cry every time my baby cries, she has colic so that's a lot of the time. I'm mellow around the baby even when she's screaming. It's also helped me and my husband from arguing when things get a little stressful because I don't get so upset. My doctor says this could be temporary, anywhere from 6-12 mos. We'll reeval at doctor's appts. I'm glad I got the help I needed and I'm not embarrased about it.
I'm glad I saw this post, as I am new to this site. I also have PPD and have been reading "Down Came the Rain," Brooke Shields' personal account with PPD. There is one line from the book (sorry if I misquote by a word or two) that really hit home with me. "It's not that I don't like her, I'm just not sure I want her living with us." I'm on medication now and this book has really helped put things in perspective. I just wish the depression would go away. I no longer cry uncontrollably, but some days, like today, I just feel dead.
Korbynsmommy, as someone who has battled depression most of her life and has been on meds for the last decade, it sounds like you're having a normal reaction. The antidepressants are meant to stabilize your moods, make them more even instead of swinging low. Some days I too have trouble getting out of bed.
Have you talked to your doctor about reevaluating your dosage? It took me the better part of a year to get to the dosage that was right for me. It's not an exact science, so working with your doctor through dosage trial and error is always best.
I have only been on the medication for a week, so I am worried I am just not giving it enough time. I also have other environmental factors unrelated to the baby that are causing me to feel low. I figure once those things work out, and I give the medicine more time, things should get better.
I let Korbyn stay with Grandma a lot - sometimes for 3 hours, sometimes for 8, sometimes 12 or 16. I feel like a bad parent, but it seems like when she is with Grandma, I feel more at ease. I feel horrible, like I am pawning my kid off on someone else, and I don't want to be the mom whose kid claims that Grandma practically raised her. I go back to work in 4 weeks and I know I should keep her by my side as much as I can now, but it just doesn't interest me to do so.
She is a happy and content baby. She eats every three hours then either goes back to sleep or is content in her bouncy seat. I feel like I should be holding her and she should not need to sit in the bouncy. I feel like I am having a hard time bonding with her, yet I can't bring myself to do anything about it.
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