Help! 10 week old refuses to sleep alone

  • I've tried putting him down dead asleep (which is instant wake or 5-10 min later), drowsy, and awake but tired.  I've even tried to let him cry a little.  The only problem with him crying is that he starts having breathing problems once he gets too worked up.  I was just reaching out for some other suggestions.  He'll sleep in his boppie for about an hour, but is still exhausted.  I've tried things from books I've read but looking for some hands on advise.  Thanks

  • I had issues with my son either always wanting to be beside me while asleep or wanting to be held while asleep when he was younger.  I had the same issue with getting him to sleep and then he would wake up just a few minutes after laying him down.  And while the boppie is wonderful, I found that if I let him sleep in it at bedtime, he always wakes up when I lay him down flat in his bassinet.  He LOVES to be in his swing so I finally just moved the swing to the bedroom and let him sleep in it for a couple weeks to get him used to sleeping on his own.  Then I moved him to the bassinet.  He wasn't the happiest about moving to the bassinet at first, however, he did get used to it.  Now if he is fussy when he is layed in his bassinet, I just turn on the "rain" noise and pop a pacifier in his mouth and he is out.  :)   Hope this helps some!   I know it's hard sometimes!  :)

  • my sister had the same problem with her first. She used a swaddling blanket and that pretty much solved the problem.

  • I can't even get him to fall asleep in the swing or the vibrating bouncy anymore.  I've tried the swaddling, but now he's almost 14 lbs and no matter how tight and pinned I get him in there he is somehow able to get out of it once he wakes.  Then he fully wakes himself up.  He sleeps okay with me in bed, but if I could just get him to sleep alone during naps then hopefully I could move that to at night too.

  • I'm so sorry he won't sleep for you! That gets to be very tiring. I would recommend a swaddling blanket and a white noise machine. You can also use your own blanket and look up how to swaddle on Google. Sometimes, swaddling manually works even better than the swaddle blankets. I hope he sleeps for you soon!

  • How about the stroller or the car seat? Until she was a year, my little one would not nap at daycare without being in a stroller. At home, she needed to be rocked to sleep once she was about 10 weeks or so. By this age, they really start to realize that you go away and they don't have the concept that you will come back. So it could be a security thing. How about taking one of his blankets to bed with you for a few nights so your scent is there with him when he sleeps.

    Take heart, though. Just about every parent has issues with their child sleeping in the first few years. Eventually, it works itself out.

  • maybe if you start slowly by just putting him in his crib/bassinet during awake alert hours so he can get used to it . You also might want to try a mobile. I also had a problem with my baby not wanting to sleep alone. I strated putting her in her crib during awake times. I also got her aside from her mobile a really cool toy that goes on the side it lights up and has motion and sounds. That saved my life! She loved it! Best of all i got it on clearance for $28. Its fisher price and they have a lot of varities for things like that so look around.Big Smile

  • Great ideas! Just be sure that if you sleep with one of his blankets to get your scent on it, that you use it to swaddle him. To prevent SIDS it is important not to put extra blankets in the crib with him.

  • My son was the same way until he was three months old. I was exclusively breastfeeding in the beginning, but he had surgery on his stomach and I got multiple boughts of mastitis (blah blah...point being...it forced me to introduce supplementary formula feedings). He would fall asleep easily while I breastfed him, but it didn't last long and certainly didn't make it to the crib. First thing I learned about him is that if I put him into his crib when he is good and drowsy, but still awake and let him fall asleep in there, he will sleep for 8-10 hours! He was only lasting a couple hours in bed with me. Babies are good self soothers, if you give them the chance. If I put him into his crib while he is asleep, during one of the many times that babies awake in the night, he wouldn't self soothe because he didn't know where he was. If he knowingly fell asleep there, he would go right back to sleep on his own. If he is crying for more than a couple minutes, it's his way of telling you he's not ready for bed, or that he needs to be soothed longer.

    Somedays he would be so sleepy he would fall asleep on his own, thanks to lots of playtime before bed and then a good feeding. For the other days I would put him into his crib with a bottle of formula (because it takes longer to digest, he stays fuller throughout the night) and turn out all lights but the one on his mobile and quietly sit and supervise the feeding. He watches the light, listens to the soft music and eats until he falls asleep. Then I take the bottle away and let him rest. Some won't recommend this because later, having the bottle at night could cause some dental issues because there is often some milk left in the babies mouth when they fall asleep...for now it works though. (If he's a sound sleeper, you can use a suction bulb to remove that extra milk in his mouth. Please be sure to supervise your child eating though, because proping the bottle can be a choking hazard. If you are more comfortable, hold the bottle for him...I'm short and having my arm over the crib rail for that long is anything but ideal, so I prop it up with some blankets, sit next to the crib and when he's asleep I remove all the blankets and the bottle.

    Babies can sense your frustration. I've realized that when I am trying to get him to sleep, he is more resistant than the days when I am letting him determine his own schedule. There are many things you can do to help prepare baby for bedtime: bathes, feedings, cuddling etc. I've found that my son likes to cuddle, then play for about five minutes at which point he starts to fuss and display the extended blink that tells me he's ready to sleep. He sleeps from 9:30pm-6:30am nearly everyday. The past couple of days he has even started waking and playing quietly in his crib for an extra hour or two.

    You can't force it, but it can be done. Take all cues from your baby. It's hard to know exactly what they want when they are little so test it all out. Giving him more independance during the day encouraged him to be more independant at night. It was tough for me because I wanted him in bed with me, cuddled up all night...but I knew it was better for us both and for his safety to be in his crib. He's happier during the day and I'm getting a lot more sleep.

  • Different techniques work for every age. With our daughter my wife would breastfeed her right before bed time and she would be good for a few hours. Eventually we learned she prefers to sleep next to someone. Depending on your situation you may try letting your son sleep next to you in the bed (remember to transition him after he learns comfortable to avoid later issues with sleeping alone). If that isn't possible remember he's used to being with you 24/7, putting something that smells like you in the crib with him is a good step. I also suggest a sound machine (and nightlight if he likes it) because many babies find the silence of a bedroom disturbing after being in the womb for 9 months.

    If all else fails - let dad take a turn Wink We dads couldn't carry them for you in the begining, no reason we shouldn't do it now though Smile. Not only does having dad walk him/comfort him/etc. let you sleep but it also lets them bond together. Rocking my daughter to sleep is still one of my fondest memories.